Thursday, August 25, 2011

Aug. 25th: Dennis vs Vinylmation Part 2

Part 1

Optimus: "So you see, this may spell doom to us all."

Dennis: "Well, you've been saying that for the past five hours. WHAT exactly will spell doom for us all?"

Optimus: "Well, Mudflap, that cube you had could contain the Secrets of The Universe. For all we know, our enemy, the Decepticons, must have stolen it to use it as a power source for Megatron's massage chair. Or maybe something even worse: He'll pawn its contents for a power source for a machine strong enough to massage the entire world!"

Merv: "Um, actually, it was just a Vinylmation box. Ya know, little statue things made by Disney?

Dennis: "He'll get around fifty dollars if he gets Abe Lincoln."

Optimus: "Fifty bucks? Then this is worse than I feared. Overpriced figurines of Mickey Mouse are what makes sentient beings such as yourselves worth protecting."

Optimus: "Merv, Cosmos, you two guard the base, I need to roll out right this second!"

Optimus: "Optimus Prime, TRANSFORM!"

Optimus: "So help me Primus, if they do anything evil with that cube, I'll shoot some double-barreled JUSTICE right up Megatron's ass! ROLL OUT!"

Merv: "...What base?"


Starscream: "Ahh, yes, this cube MUST hold the secrets of the universe!"

Starscream: "I'll use it to massage Megatron so hard, he'll HAVE to relinquish the Decepticon leadership to me!"

Megatron: "You know I'm standing right here, you blathering idiot."

Megatron: "We're only six inches apart, you know."

Starscream: "Oh, umm...forgive me, Lord Megatron. BEHOLD!"

Megatron: "What kind of baldercrap did you bring me this time, Starscream? I hope it's not another pineapple. BECAUSE I'VE JUST ABOUT HAD IT WITH FRUIT!!"

Starscream: "No, no, this one's far better, yes. This cube I stole from some unsuspecting Earth creatures contains a treasure that'll help us destroy the Autobots for sure!"

Starscream: "It's a Vinylmation figurine from Disney! It's a rare treasure from thousands of miles away, obtained from the mythical eBay. If this cube holds the body of Abe Lincoln, we'll be fifty Earth Dollars richer! It'll surely be enough to buy a better Earthquake Machine!"

Megatron: "YOU FOOL. After that last machine did nothing but massage the planet, I've decided to go back to the drawing board!

Megatron: "Besides, this cube probably contains the Troll guy, and we both know that he's FUCKING WORTHLESS!"

Megatron: "Gah, you and your incompetencies. I wish an Autobot showed up right now to take this useless macguffin out of my sight before I decide to blast it and yourself to bits!"


Starscream: "Optimus Prime! He -- He must have followed me!"

Megatron: "Oh. No. Optimus Prime. I hope he doesn't take this precious cube without consequences and shoot Starscream in the chest."

Optimus: "That's right, Megatron. You'll pay for stealing this cube of wonders!"

Starscream: "You -- you can't! This is MY riches! Er, I mean, OUR riches! Our fantastic Abe Lincoln cube belongs to the Decepticon cause!"

Megatron: "Shut. Up. Starscream."

Optimus: "Now, I'll just be taking this before I have to use my guns of JUSTICE this time. You don't want JUSTICE anywhere near your eyes when they fire off. Now...will you be good Decepticons and hand it over for the sake of the entire Earth race?"

Megatron: "Gah. fine. You win this time, Prime. Take it. I have been foiled again."

Optimus: "You chose wisely, Megatron. ROLL OUT!"

Megatron: "...Well, that was easy. Now for your daily punishment for being an idiot, Starscream."


Starscream: "(sighs)"


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