Friday, September 30, 2011

Sept. 30th: The End of Blog-A-Day

We knew this day would come, fellow three readers. Tonight marks the end of Blog-A-Day, my project of a new entry every day. From this point on, it's back to updating Whenever The Hell I Feel Like It.

But don't cry, stock image of a sad cat. If I must say so, I think this was a success. It's the first time I've continuously blogged for TWO straight months, minus that one day when Hurricane Irene knocked out my power & internet.

In those two months, I shared some of my innermost feelings, topics that I've been wanting to write down for some time, some funny videos, and of course, random pictures of Gary Busey and Jonathan Winters. I hope you all enjoyed it, too. Sure, most days when I had no ideas, I posted a random picture, but it was content all the same.

I hope to post more in October and beyond, but until then, stay gold!

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Thursday, September 29, 2011

Sept. 29th: My 5 Favorite NBA Player Names

Just for fun (because, let's face it, I got nothing better to do with myself), here are my all-time five favorite names of NBA Players:

1) Manute Bol

Tallest basketball player!

2) Detlef Shrempf

As seen on "Parks and Recreation"!

3) Muggsy Bogues

Short guy!

4) Bismack Biyombo

Okay, now they're making these names up.

5) Moses Malone

"Bayou Billy?! I hope you saved the reciept!"

What about you? Who are YOUR favorites?

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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Sept. 28th: Meh

This is one of those times when I actually have an idea to type down here...but I don't feel like doing so today.

So to continue with this theme I've been creating, here's a video of Jonathan Winters:

and one of Gary Busey:

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Monday, September 26, 2011

Sept. 26th: The Tommy Wi-Show

Tommy Wiseau, not satisfied with simply creating his magnum opus The Room, has recently dove into the exciting world of Internet Video Reviewing. Gentlemen, BEHOLD: The Tommy Wi-Show!

Like The Room itself, Tommy's bewildered attempt at playing Mortal Kombat is ridiculous, horribly written, and unintentionally hilarious. The humor, or whatever you define as "humor" in this situation, mostly comes from Tommy's acting that not only reeks of ham, but of ham that's the size of those hams you see in cartoons.

Or, for a less puntastic example, the ham from last week's episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia:

That's good Rum Ham

Combine that with his tenuous grasp at playing a video game (not surprised in the least that he cherry taps), and a plot that's eerily reminiscent of MST3K (an alien called...Alien kidnaps him to play video games). Filter all of that between a budget that makes the production look like Avatar compared to The Room, and his Ukranian/Eastern European/Koozebanian accent, and you have this show in a nutshell.

It's a bit hard to sit through, but I'll admit that I want to see where this goes. You usually see video game reviewers tackle the worst that the gaming industry can throw at them, but Tommy is different. If he sucks that horribly at playing Mortal Kombat (one of the good ones, even), I'd like to see him take on good, classic games.

How can Grand Theft Auto tear him apart? How many mysognistic jokes can he make per minute with a Madden game? Would he skip the rings in Sonic The Hedgehog? Is Tommy the kind of guy who would keep dying at the Goomba at the beginning of Super Mario Bros?

You know what? Katamari Damacy seems more his speed. The game makes just as much sense as he does, and he probably has lots of experience rolling over things.

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Thursday, September 22, 2011

Sept. 22nd: Nana & Me

This was a hard day for me. I don't normally talk much about my personal life on here, but exactly one year ago today, my grandmother passed away. This was someone that I was really close to. She was pretty much the third person that raised me. While my parents worked, there she was, in my house, willing to cook my breakfast and send me off to school. She'd show up when I was sick, on holidays or days when I just plain didn't go to school. It was great.

She had been dwindling in health for several years and lived the last 2 or so years of her life in a nursing home. You might say that this was pretty much a death sentence already, but this was probably the one of the better decisions my family ever made. Before that, she lived in her house with my uncles not doing anything. As in, not even getting up from the couch anything. She was a chain smoker to boot, and continued until around a month before the end. Totally did not help at all.
In her new home, she was able to be mobile (she was confined to a wheelchair 90% of the time), she had people tending to her aide, people to target her elderly rage at, and most importantly, friends. If you've never been to a nursing home for more than 10 minutes, you might not notice that they're pretty much like high schools for the senile. You have cliques, you have the crazy ones, the mopers, and if they have family that takes them out every once in a while for a smoke? They're pretty much the top tier. And Nana was near the top. I should know, I visited her several times a week, and that does wonders for the polls.

But near the end, she got sick once every few months, and around this time last August, she had pneumonia. Luckily, she barely survived that scrape, but it took her toll on her. The San Genero's Festival came, and the nursing home throws a big party for it. When I looked for Nana...she wasn't there. She was in her room. In her bed. NOT GOOD.

A few days later, she was put in the hospital, and on this day one year ago, she left this world to end her suffering. It was one of those "peaceful"" deaths, which I had no idea could actually happen. She was just...lying there, we couldn't even tell when she left. My mom was happy that she had a "peaceful" look on her face and opened the blinds in the hospital room to let some sun in. That's when my dad and I pretty much said "Umm...there's a reason why she looks peaceful." Talk about awkward.

Needless to say, the death hit me hard, and it's one of the main reasons why I started to neglect this blog, the grief and depression was too much for me. I know she's in a better place. No more suffering. She can see everyone that left before her. And she can smoke as long as she wants for all eternity.

God, I miss her.

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Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Sept. 21st: Glee & Sesame Street

Ah, Sesame Street. After 42 years, you'd think the people over at the Muppets Television Workshop or whatever they're calling themselves these days would've run out of ways to educate the young'ins while parodying pop culture at the same time.

Just a few minutes ago, I was shown this great child-friendly parody of Glee that doubles as a lesson of the various sounds the letter "G" makes.

And it was only 20% as flamboyant as the actual show to boot.

All the characters' personalities were really spot-on, from Mr. Shue, to Sue being a bitch, to Lea Michele being a bigger bitch. And there's a Muppet version of Kurt, too. Doesn't that make him, like, the third openly gay Muppet in existence? He seems to happily share this honor with Placido Flamingo and Sam The Eagle. Yeah, I was shocked when I found that out, too. Fucking hypocrite.

While I thought this was another reminder that the Sesame Street crew still has that magic touch after all these years, I only see one missed opportunity.

You guys know what else starts with the letter G? GROVER. Even though this bit didn't need him, Grover should've been involved somehow, either in the background (being mentioned as something that started with G, or at least one of the Glee club members.) For shame guys, for shame.

On another note, the Muppet playing Mr. Shue seems to be from the same kind of Everything Muppet as Guy Smiley.

Perhaps with their penchant for random breaks into song and choice of clothing when doing such, could they be cut from the same cloth?

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Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Monday, September 19, 2011

Sept. 19th: Unhelpful High School Teacher

In the same vein as Socially Awkward Penguin from a few weeks back, we have an emerging meme called "Unhelpful High School Teacher."

It's a picture of a teacher giving bad advice, or doing something that contradicts what she just said. That being said, most of these pictures really speak to me. Throughout my school years, I, like everyone else, have had some great teachers, some forgettable teachers (good at what they did, got you through the year, but you don't remember them), and some horrible ones.

The bad ones were able to teach just fine, but for whatever reason I simply did not like them. Either my anxieties about schoolwork and life in general affected my concentration towards the class, or the teacher did or said the exact things that caption these pictures, leading to distrust and apathy.

This one in particular pretty much affected my approach to school and work in general. I had LOTS of teachers who did this, and it led me down a dark path of apathy. I was anxious that I screwed up something...and the work isn't checked. Or I forgot to do something/just plain didn't do something, and nothing happens. At a very young age (I kind of like to think this was middle school, but I remember this behavior starting around grade 3), I began to think "Why bother? No one's going to know or care that I did anything."

I was a stubborn kid, and I developed into a stubborn adult. Hell, now that I think of it, I don't think I even consider myself an adult yet, and I'm 24 years old. It's pretty hard for me to change my ways if I get dead-set about something, and I've mostly begun to regret this. I've been an underachiever, but unlike the Bart Simpson of yesteryear, I ain't proud of it.

I'm slowly changing my ways, with an unfortunate emphasis on "slowly." Before I sink into this week's bout of depression, here are some other examples:

I blame you for my back problems, middle school history teachers. And that one asshole in the seventh grade that pulled on my heavy backpack full of textbooks that made me fall of a bike rack I sitting on and injured my back.

One of my biggest fears, and it's probably why I used to be very uncomfortable about reading anything out loud. I keep thinking that I'm going to be "the bad example" and be laughed at for it.

I'm okay with this, but it's the reason why I never re-used notebooks for several classes until college came along. Those binders would be gone for days at a time, and I'd need my notebooks for my other classes.

Fuck you.

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Sunday, September 18, 2011

Sept. 18th: The Megas

Since I'm kind of tired, I don't feel much like writing today. I will, however, share vids of a few songs by a band called The Megas. They write rock songs based on Mega Man music, and they're wicked awesome.

Annihilation of Monsteropois (Air Man)

The Quick & The Blue (Quick Man)

Metal Dance (Metal Man)

Man on Fire (Heat Man)

Super Fighting Robot (The Mega Man Cartoon Theme Song)

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Thursday, September 15, 2011

Sept. 15th: Life in Hell

You know what, readers? I hate my life.

While not being a dropout of Grad School (I have a freaking Bachelor's Degree), this Life in Hell comic by the great Matt Groening sums up my situation quite well. A lot of stuff around me pretty much crapped out all at once: My car, my job, and now my computer. And all of these things require precious money to be fixed...which I don't have right now. Thankfully, I have another computer and my iTouch or else I'd go insane right now.

My life could be much worse than it already is (I'm lucky that I have Internet, a computer, a car, and a house to live in), but could be much, much better. But it's not. And why not?

I blame my anxieties. I've mentioned them a few times over the last few blog posts that didn't have Gary Busey's face plastered on them, but it's high time that I aired my grievances.

My name is Galileo, and I've lived with crippling anxieties all my life. +I think I have a few points of origin:

1) Abandonment issues. When I was a boy, I had this, like, little Little Peoples playset that I played with all the time. I took it everywhere, even my bathtub. Then one day, I noticed that it went in the trash and I saw the garbagemen haul it away. I was heartbroken, I was never even told about this! Well, this led to packrat issues and I have yet to throw away any toy, game, book, magazine, or plushie, and I even keep the boxes they came in. Seriously, my basement was filled with boxes of Transformers that were as old as the Beast Wars era. I'm getting better, as most of those boxes are no longer intact, yet I'm furious that the boxes for my NES and OG Game Boy are probably lost to the ages.

1a) Ever since my elementary school days until my middle school years, there was a pattern that most of the people I ever made friends with moved away within two years of getting to know them. About only...2 of them have survived since then. Now I have this feeling in my mind that anyone I try to socialize with will end up disappearing on me without notice. Of course, this was in the days BEFORE the Internet which meant my little mind processed that these people all dropped off the face of the Earth. Nowadays, we have Facebook and we can keep in contact, but the feeling still remains.

2) My mom. This is probably the biggest case of them all. Yes, she tries and yes, I love her, but her main way of dealing with stress & disappointment? Screaming and insulting. Since childhood, anything I seemed to do was met with this reaction. There is no worse sound in the world than a mother's disappointment. There may be mental issues I have, but it's the main reason why I don't socialize. Or talk. There's something in my brain that causes my speech & body to lock up on itself, to keep myself from saying or doing anything that would invoke some sort of rage. I don't want that, and I try to avoid it. And by "it," I mean ANYTHING.

And I mean anything, including getting up in the morning and going to sleep, knowing that I'll avoid getting up. I know I probably need help, but I don't know how to do it. I keep thinking that anything I say or do is a mistake, be doomed to be mocked, or I'll be yelled at. Or be called "stupid," "asshole," "lacking common sense," or any combination of the three. At the same time, there's this need to accomplish things myself and not wanting anyone's help.

In short: I am sad, and this is the only way I know how to send the right signal. But the people who probably NEED to read this...won't.

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Monday, September 12, 2011

Sept. 12th: That's Not For You, Cat!

This is my cat:

This is what my cat has been up to:

She has declared that this pile of shirts that I haven't put away is her new bed. I've tried to shoo her away, but she's staying put. Sure, she moves sometimes, but I'm too lazy to put them away right now.

Also, she looks too damn cute.

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Sunday, September 11, 2011

Sept. 11th: Never Forget

Something something happened ten years ago, terrible tragedy. I could go on and on about where I was, how I felt, and how angry I've become in the ten years since, but I figured that it'd be too depressing. So here's another tasteless image:

Yes, these are horrible, and we're all going to hell for laughing at them. See ya there!

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Thursday, September 8, 2011

Sept. 8th: Socially Awkward Penguin

There's meme out there called Socially Awkward Penguin. If you don't know what this is, it's a series of pictures of a penguin on a blue background describing awkward responses to social situations.

And these things sum me up so well. A few more of my favorites:


...I know I'm not alone here.

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Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Sept. 7th: Futurama Trivia Team Names

Over the past few months, I discovered something wonderful: There's a bar in Brooklyn that runs Simpsons Trivia once a month! I live right near there! Like, an hour away! And I'd kick ass at it! But a few things stop me.

One: Time. Well, not for me. Since I'm still unemployed, I got all the time in the world. I wouldn't do this trivia night without my best friend Steve, who is just as big of a Simpsons nerd as I am. He's got a day job, and gets to sleep when the clock still says "pm."

Two: Money. Traveling from here to Brooklyn takes gas. Lots of it.

Three: General Anxieties. I hate my mental illnesses.

As soon as the above three problems are solved, I'll make it out there and indeed kick some major ass.

But besides all that, I recently learned that there's going to be Futurama Trivia Night, too! Which I'd also kick ass at! But it's in Toronto, where the original Simpsons Trivia Game takes place. But when it moves to New York, you'll see me there, too.

Now, the general theme for any trivia night participant is teams. And every team needs a great team name. When reading the blog for the Simpsons Trivia game, you can tell who the really geeky teams are just from the obscurity of their names.

My favorites being Chugalug House, People Who Look Like Things, The Christ Punchers, Works on Contingency? No, Money Down!, and Melvin & The Squirrels. Don't get the significance of any of those names? Well, then you won't make it that far here. Also, I'm saddened that they beat me to those names.

But back to Futurama. If anyone would like to name their geeky Futurama Trivia Team, I have a few ideas for you:

Wuthering Gattaca
Brannigan's Law
The Mongooses. The Fighting Mongooses
It's That Guy You Are!
Citizen Snips
Beige Alert
Fry's Lower Horn
Molten Boron
The Nasty in The Pasty
Less Than Hero
You All Still Have Zoidberg!
An Afghan Made From An Afghan
Windmills Do Not Work That Way
The Feast of 1,000 Hams
Beta Romeo
Ham Gum
The Space Pope
Let Me Worry About Blank
Caffeinated Bacon
Archduke Chocula
Bureaucrat Conrad
Dwight Lightning
Outer Space Potato Men
Bubblegum Tate
Farnsworth Parabox
Robot Party Week
The Radiator Woman from The Radiator Planet
Death By Snu-Snu
Daddy's Little Grandpa
Dr. Perceptron
Robot Nixon
Donovan Parker & Posey
Cylon & Garfunkel
We're Whalers on The Moon
Built Like a Steakhouse, Handles Like a Bistro
Kappa Kappa Wong
Hannukah Zombie
Quantum Leek
All My Circuits
Hot Diggity Daffodil!
The Clamps!
The Lost City of Atlanta
Robot House
Turanga Leela
Clown Fundamentals
Scooty Puff, Jr.
Hi, Animatronio!
Pi-th Ave.
Waling Fungus
There's No Such Thing as Two
Addition Never Solved Anything!
But We Need Brain For Smart Making!
What Tastes Like Purple?
The Society of Madfellows
Action Delivery Force
O'Zorgnax's Pub
St. Rodman's Day
Heart Full of Neutrality
Hawking Hole
10th Level Vice President
Fancy Men of Cornwood

By the way, they're all taken. Just kidding, but it's totally something that Bender would do.

Sure, this is pretty much a rerun of my Futurama Band Names post from a few years back with a few new names, but they work here just as well. If you got any suggestions to add, feel free to put em in the comments!

Monday, September 5, 2011

Sept. 5th: Soundtracks For Summer: Scar Tissue

Part 26 in my ongoing "Soundtracks For Summer" series.

Hey, today's Labor Day, the unofficial last day of summer. So how about one last "songs that remind you of summer" entry for the year?

Today's song is the Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Scar Tissue." I've been wanting this write about this song for a while, but I just never knew the name of it until now. The video above is just a lyrics vid, because the awesome music video is from an actual band, which means no embedding. Bastards.

In any case, the video in question can be found here. With the mellow guitar strums and lower-than-usual tempo, this song really puts me into an "end of summer" kinda mood. The days get shorter, the temperature cools down, school starting soon, that sorta thing. I pretty much missed out on my end-of-summer tradition, the Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon, which usually aired on Labor Day. I say "usually" because for some reason IT AIRED YESTERDAY.

That's nuts. It tells a lot about the current popularity of the telethon, especially since this was the first year without Jerry's involvement. I guess they had to find someone else to barely warble through "You'll Never Walk Alone."

Now as for the video itself, the band is riding around the desert in a car while the sun sets around them. This not only evokes an "end of summer" feeling for me, but an "end of the vacation" feeling, too. The adventure's done, we saved the day. We're tired, we're hung-over. We spent a little too much money on the slot machines. And with all that, you don't even have a day of rest because you have work tomorrow.

Yes, today's gonna suck while you wax nostalgic for the last few days of your life. But tomorrow...tomorrow will hopefully be better.

BTW, I'm also taking reader submissions for future "Soundtracks For Summer" entries. If you've got an idea, pop me an email at OR comment on this entry OR at the Facebook Fan Page with the name of the song, and a reason or two why it defines "Summer" for you. You'll be glad you did.

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Saturday, September 3, 2011

Sept. 3rd: Home of The Good Burger

Today, I decided to go on a grand adventure. Where to, you ask? Why to fabulous New York City, of course! Why exactly? Well, I was bored and I wanted to try an eatery that I've been wanting to go to for some time: GoodBurger.

Well, not that Good Burger. Some entrepreneur in New York decided to open up a burger franchise named after the popular All That sketch.

See, there it is, right on 45th Street. This is the part of the post where I post a few pictures of the interior and tell you that the place was actually kinda classy looking and looks nothing like the McDonald's clone from TV and the moving pictures. But the guy working at the counter gave me a weird look and I didn't take any. Lousy anxieties.

I did, however, take a pic of the burger I ate.

Nothing fancy, just a Classic Good Burger, with an Arnold Palmer to wash it down. Why no fries? I'm cheap, I guess. Still got the no job, but today's entry was brought to you by the New York State Department of Labor. Getting unemployment money is calming the shakes for now, but I 'd rather work for the money. I think this means I'm getting old.

I got the Arnold Palmer (that's a half lemonade, half iced tea concoction by the way) because I've been cutting down on the soda lately, but I've been diving back into that habit again. With that in mind, if I had known beforehand, I would've gotten some orange soda to go with the burger. Come on, you're at Good Burger and DON'T get the orange soda? That's just nuts. Again, blame the anxieties.

But before I babble on and fall asleep at the keyboard, I gotta tell you how it tastes. Well, not gonna lie to you, the burger lived up to its name. It was a good burger! Meat was good and juicy, and none of the fixin's (lettuce, raw onions, pickles, ketchup, and yes, bacon) tasted off or overpowered the burger in any way. Everything complimented everything else.

So if you're in the area, I suggest you check the place out. The only complaint I have was that the person taking my order didn't say "Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your order?" Again, nuts.

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Friday, September 2, 2011

Sept. 2nd: It's Late and I'm Tired

This subject line defines much of thought process. Why did I do that thing and not think it out first? It was late and I was tired. And so on.

I had a grand entry in the process for today, and then I looked at the clock. My mind said "screw it" and decided to post this video:

Yeah, this montage of Gary Busey's cameo on the Simpsons sums up my current mind set. Hell, I don't even know if I even posted this already. But here it is again if I already did!

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Thursday, September 1, 2011

Sept. 1st: First of The Month

It's a brand new month and with it, a new set of dreams and goals!

Sadly, I'm too full and tired to type any down tonight, so here's a video I made a few weeks ago to get you through the rest of the day:

Ron Swanson Dances to It's Raining Men! Enjoy!

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