Friday, October 31, 2008

Homestarloween Costumes

Welcome to the first of two Halloween Entries!

If you're like me, you're a fan of Homestar's crazy cartoon adventures. If not...shame on you, it's really a fantastic cartoon.

The topic I'm trying to get to today is that every year since 2000, the website has produced a Halloween-themed cartoon where all of the characters dress up in costumes. The costumes are different each year, each one representing some facet of obscure Pop Culture. When the cartoons started it, the outfits mostly stayed within the 80's, but recent cartoons have had more current costumes. I'm not complaining, as the choices have been the most original and inspired ones that I've ever seen.

I was holding off on this entry to wait for this year's Halloween cartoon to be released. This entire week has involved lots of F5'ing to check if the toon would finally arrive. Last night, "Most in The Graveyard" was posted, and it's one of the best ones the HSR team has ever done. I suggest watching it before continuing on, as a few costumes from that cartoon have earned a spot in this entry.

So, in part, this is another list post by me. I first thought of a straight-out "Best Costumes" list, but I figured it would give Strong Bad an unfair advantage, as his costumes have been consistently excellent. Instead, we'll look at the best costume by character.

Homestar Runner - The Greatest American Hero (The House That Gave Sucky Treats)

Let's start with the star of the show, Homestar himself. This was quite a tough choice for his best costume, as I had to flip a coin between The Greatest American Hero (from the show of the same name) from "The House That Gave Sucky Treats" and Artie, The Strongest Man! In the World (from The Adventures of Pete & Pete) from last year's "Jibblies 2."

He's had some obscure costumes, like the character of Moocher from the movie "Breaking Away," and Yahoo Serious from "Young Einstein" this year. Hell, it took me until the end of "Jibblies 2" to have the memories of Artie come flowing back to me.

Marizpan - Beaker (Halloween Potion-Ma-Jig)

Marzipan is Homestar's on/off girlfriend, and has had some consistently good costumes. Since she's the lone woman and hippie-like character, she's dressed up as women, but most of her current costumes have been musicians such as Joey Ramone, Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez, Willie Nelson, Frida Kahlo, Prince, and Stevie Ray Vaughn.

Out of all of them, Beaker was her best costume. It fits her body type and pink skin perfectly. I've wondered how the creators hadn't thought up that costume for her until they actually did it.

Pom Pom - Walter Sobchak (Halloween Potion-Ma-Jig)

Pom Pom is Homestar's best bud and the mack daddy of the ensemble. The fact that he is a large yellow balloon that only speaks in bubbles hasn't stopped him from wearing great costumes that don't fit his body type. Sure, he's dressed up as the Kool-Aid man, Michael Moore, Kamala The Ugandan Giant, Mario Batali, Bob's Big Boy and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, but he's also dressed up as the rail-thin SCUD from the comic book "SCUD: The Disposable Assassin."

Fitting with his round theme, my favorite costume of his was Walter Sobchak from "The Big Lebowski." Speaking of which, I dressed up as "The Dude" for Halloween this year. (Check back here later on to see the costume!)

Bubs - Coach McGuirk (Happy Hallow-day)

Bubs runs the Concession Stand in Free Country USA, the only such establishment in the area. He has a running theme of shady, fat characters that are incredibly obscure. He's been Rerun from "What's Happening," Mel from "Alice," Captain Lou Albano, Mars Blackmon from "She's Gotta Have it," Apollo Creed, Ross The Stage Manager from "You Can't Do That on Television," and wrestler The Junkyard Dog. His most obscure one by far is One of The Three Most Important People in The World (the one played by Clarence Clemons) from "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure." Yeah, I had to look up every single costume except for Rerun & Apollo Creed.

I've chosen Coach McGuirk from "Home Movies" due to the almost-uncanny resemblance, as well as being one of his most easily recognizable costumes.

Coach Z - DJ Lance Rock (Most in The Graveyard)

Coach Z is, well, a Coach with a hilarious speech impediment as well as being an amateur hip-hop artist. Due to this, he has dressed up as a different rapper for every Halloween cartoon.

While he's dressed up as rappers like Flavor Flav, Kool Moe Dee, Kid of Kid n Play, Humpty Hump, Tupac, and Queen Latifah, he got creative in recent years and dressed up as Theo Huxtable (Jammin' on the one!) and the So So Def Recordings logo.

That brings us to this year, where he dressed up as DJ Lance Rock, the host of "Yo Gabba Gabba." For one, it's very inspired, and if you click on him at the end of the cartoon, he gives us a jumbled version of the character's catchphrase "Yooooooooooooooor Gorble Gorble!" I still can't stop laughing over that, and I've seen the cartoon about 4 times now because of it. If this wasn't Coach Z's costume this year, I would've went with Humpty Hump from "The House That Gave Sucky Treats."

The Cheat - Sigmund (Halloween Fairstival)

The Cheat is the adorable little sidekick to Strong Bad. The most animalistic and shortest of the characters, his costumes have usually been of small and/or furry creatures. This was also a hard choice, as my favorite costumes of his were Sigmund from "Sigmund & The Sea Monsters," Gizmo from "Gremlins," Toad from the Mario Bros. Series, and Penfold from "Dangermouse."

Due to the complexity & originality of the costume, I chose The Cheat's Sigmund costume. He was not, as Homestar said, a pile of leaves.

Strong Sad - Andy Warhol (The House That Gave Sucky Treats)

The youngest of the three "Brothers Strong," Strong Sad is a fat, depressed nerd. In such, most of his costumes either follow this theme, or are complete opposites to his personality. It would explain why he would dress up as Sam Kinison, Tony Clifton, and Vyvyan from "The Young Ones."

For me, the costume that best fit Strong Sad in both looks and personality would have to be his Andy Warhol costume. In "The House That Gave Sucky Treats," you had the option of giving one of three treats to each character. Giving Strong Sad a Cambell's Soup Can causes him to comment on how fitting the treat is, and how he wanted candy that you didn't have to prepare.

Strong Mad - Magnum PI (Three Times Halloween Funjob)

He's the oldest of the "Brothers Strong" and is the biggest & dumbest character on the show. Naturally, his costume choices range from athletes to big people. Nikolai Volkoff, William "The Fridge" Perry, Magnum PI, Gossamer, The Maxx, and a Thwomp are all great big hulks of things. He's been known to dress as the slender Slim Goodbody, as well as Ben Wallace.

There was also an instance where he dressed as a simple Bedsheet Ghost. Of course, with Strong Mad being Strong Mad, he cut the eye holes over his mouth instead of over his actual eyes.

While Gossamer was great yet an inaccurate orange color, and the Thwomp being really awesome, I'm going to have to go with Magnum PI. For one, I love the costume, and how it fit so well on Strong Mad. There's simply something inherently funny about a big cubic figure like himself wearing a hawaiian shirt, shades, and a fake mustache. I still laugh over his delivery of "HIGGINS!" and then simply tossing a roll of toilet paper through a wall. Also of note,the costume inspired me to dress up as Magnum PI (very awkwardly, I might add) for Halloween three years ago.

Strong Bad - Jambi The Genie (Halloween Potion-Ma-Jig)

The 2nd Star of Homestar Runner and the middle child of the "Brothers Strong," Strong Bad has been the most consistent with really awesome costumes. He was Carmen Freakin' Miranda, Carmen Sandiego, Ozone from "Breakin'" and "Breakin' II: Electic Boogaloo" (ok, so this was the dud compared to the ones that came after), Cesar Romero's Joker, Father Guido Sarducci, Beetlejuice, The Green Planet on the cover of "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy," and a genius idea of dressing up as a Bee while being disguised as Homestar dressing up as Angus Young.

But as a child of the early 90's, I can't say no to his awesome Jambi The Genie costume. I especially love the detail of the box that he made the effort to carry around for the entire night.

King of Town - The Mayor of Halloweentown (Halloween Fairstival)

The King of Town is the self-appointed King of Free Country USA. Hes short, fat, and a glutton. Obviously, his theme of costumes consist of fat people and/or food mascots. My choice for my favorite KoT costume goes to The Mayor of Halloweentown from "The Nightmare Before Christmas." If this list WAS a straight-up best costumes list, this one would be right near the top. It suits him so very well. He's fat, short, and the figurehead leader of the town. Plus, the outfit is so very awesome, it even has the spinning head feature!

In case you're wondering, the King of Town has also dressed up as Colonel Sanders, The Hamburgular, Mario, Rev. Al Sharpton, The Gorton's Fisherman, Cap'n Crunch, Hagar The Horrible, and most recently, Hello Kitty. It was his favorite candy mascot...but it was probably some erasers.

Poopsmith - Dr. Zoidberg (Most in The Graveyard)

The Poopsmith is the King's handler of whatsit. He doesn't speak, is gross, and has a mysterious personality. In such, he has had a wide range of costumes, many of them incredibly obscure. Most notable of the fantasy genre would be Necron 99 from "Wizards," a Sleestak from "Land of The Lost," Lion-O from "Thundercats," and Ookla The Mok from "Thundarr The Barbarian." For other Halloween toons, he went Sci Fi with a Tron costumes years before Tron Guy did it, Doc Brown, M. Bison from "Street Fighter," as well as dressing up in a Lazer Tag outfit.

I almost went with Bison, but this year's Zoidberg costume was one of my favorite, because I loves me some Futurama. I simply didn't think that Doc Brown was a good costume for him, and I haven't had as much experience with the awesomeness of his other costume choices.

Homsar - The Noony Noony Noo Typewriter Guy (Jibblies 2)

Last, but not least, we come to Homsar. He's always accessed via an Easter Egg involving the Poopsmith. The strangest character in the series, his costumes have been quite associated with his random personality and has been notable for having some of the most obscure costumes, more so than Poopsmith & Bubs. Seriously, I never would've thought of dressing him up as Kumar from the Wes Anderson Movie "Bottle Rocket" or as Ghost Dog.

As a fellow child who grew up on Sesame Street, seeing the Typewriter Guy was a blast from the past and created its hold for my favorite Homsar costume.

So, which costumes were your favorites?

Monday, October 27, 2008

Beaming for Bunnies: The Essentials

It's finally come to this: Blog Entry #100!

It took me only eight months for Beaming for Bunnies to reach 100 posts. All I know is, I'm halfway there! There are some blogs that haven't come close to 100 posts, or have yet to do so. Screw them, you're reading me, and if you don't like it, you still show up on the view counter!

So, to commemorate this special occasion, I have compiled a list of my most favorite and popular of the first 100 blog entries. For those of you who have discovered this blog in recent months, or have merely forgotten what I wrote about, this should serve as a handy reminder of history in the making.

The 50 Greatest Animated Villains of All Time
Part 1 (#'s 50-41) - February 28, 2008
Part 2 (#'s 40-31) - May 23, 2008
Part 3 (#'s 30-21) - August 8, 2008
Part 4 (#'s 20-11) - September 20, 2008
Part 5 (#'s 10-1) - October 12, 2008

By far my most popular work, and the main reason that I moved away from Myspace blogging and created Beaming For Bunnies in the first place. I knew that this series had major potential, and that I realized that I wasn't going to be taken seriously on Myspace. I said "screw it" and created the blog that you read now and haven't looked back.

This series was originally going to be completed one year ago. You see, Myspace had a habit of eating my blog entries, so I wrote every entry in Word. Around June, my trial version decided to crap out on me, so I had held off writing this series. When I finally got Word up and running again, I simply had no chutzpah to write it, and left the list to gather dust until February. What was originally planned to be uploaded over a few days turned into eight months, with 3 month waiting periods between the first 3 parts. Now I know how Joss Whedon feels.

People have asked me who was going to be next, that the list was awesome, and when will the next part be written. Well, they're all done, so I've expected the latter question to cease. In truth, the reason why the last few entries have been sporadic was because I wanted to get the energy to finish off the list, and then move on to THIS entry, #100. It wouldn't have been fair to hold a retrospective of the list with the most important part missing, now would it?

Top 20 Muppet Show Moments - April 14, 2008

Back when the Villains countdown existed as only a mere Part 1, it was this entry that proved to be my most popular. I loved the Muppet Show, and so did you, so it was only natural for me to create a list of the 20 greatest moments of the show. You'll have to click the link to see who made #1, but it's pretty obvious. I've also mentioned in the past that I'm working on a sequel entry, highlighting 6 more great moments from the show. Expect that one...eventually.

Do You Has The Crave? - May 31, 2008

My entry where I proclaim my love for White Castle! While I do love this entry, it seems that a good amount of the searches that this blog appears in is for the phrase "Crave Crate," which of course is a package of 100 White Castle burgers. Crave Crate, Crave Crate, Crave Crate.

20 Things Older Than John McCain -May 16, 2008

Speaking of which, it's all thanks to this entry that Beaming For Bunnies gets a few of its views. It was based on the hit blog "Things Younger Than John McCain." It has since been adapted into book form, "72 Things Younger Than John McCain." This in turn has led some confused Googlers to type "72 Things Older Than McCain" and somehow getting this blog as a result. I thank you all for it.

Just for Kicks - May 20, 2008

On the topic of Google searches, I created this entry to list random phrases to get this blog into more searches. And then months later I found out how to find search results for this site. Not many of the enclosed phrases has really brought anyone here, but I'm still hoping. Crave Crate.

The Soundtracks For Summer Series
The Enchanted Tiki Room - May 8, 2008
Under The Boardwalk - May 10, 2008
Land Down Under - May 29, 2008
Kokomo - June 14, 2008
Love Shack - June 15, 2008
Wipe Out - July 13, 2008
Hotel California - July 23, 2008
Rock Lobster - August 24, 2008
Biggest Ball of Twine In Minnesota - August 28, 2008

I am personally a fan of my "Soundtracks For Summer" series. It is a series of entries where I write about songs that define "Summer." Four months, and I only made it to 9 entries. I would write more, but it's not summer anymore. I may have tried back in September back when it was still technically Summer, but I kind of accept its exit right around now. It's October. It's Halloween. It's autumn. The trees are finally turning colors now, I can't possibly write a 200 word entry on "Little Deuce Coupe." No way. Speaking of which, the line at is still open for suggestions for future entries.

The "Things That Start With" Series - June 2008
Particularly these entries:
A - June 4
B - June 5
C - June 6
D - June 7
G - June 10
H - June 11
I - June 12
K -June 14
N - June 16
P - June 18

Q - June 19
R - June 20
S - June 21
X - June 27
Y - June 28
Z - June 29

There's no doubt about it that June was my busiest month of all. Taking a page from a few blogger buddies who did similar entries about things in their lives that began with a certain letter, I set out to join them by writing an entry about the letter "A." After writing that entry, I thought "Hey, I should do an entry on all the other letters!"

Thoughts like that are so much more positive at the beginning. I considered quitting around "H," but my stubbornness prevailed and completed it all the way to Z!

But there are 2 entries in particular that made June my best month ever. The entry for "N" had a spiel about the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, in which I critiqued the songs styling of one "Beautiful Brian" Seiken, who was a competitor at the Strawberry Shortcake Eating Contest that I saw the day before. I had also made the mistake of providing my non-Gmail email address in the same entry.

Why, you ask? It turns out that two days later he sent me an email saying how I shouldn't, well, act like a blogger. I obliged by freaking out in pure joy that someone of notoriety had found this blog and then adding his homepage on my blogroll. This somehow led to a slew of visitors arriving here on that very same day, making June 19 my Best Day Ever™. Then I never got visitors again, with my sole reader being a sock monkey glued to a mousepad.

"Beautiful Brian" never did tell me how he found this in the first place. Oh, and if you're still reading this, Brian: I'm still waiting for that CD.

What do we want? SOMETHING! - July 2, 2008

This entry was a favorite of mine, but it sadly didn't catch on. I decided that we should protest nothing. Sometimes life is boring and we must demand something to happen!

Dennis - July 11, 2008
Dennis & The iPhone Train Blues - July 18, 2008

These are the first of my "story blogs" that involve a little character named Dennis. I've been meaning to write a fun little storyline concerning a depressed Bob-Omb and his as-of-now-unintroduced menagerie of buddies with a "Douglas Adams/Pushing Daisies" style of narration. Like everyone in college, they're being written to provide inspiration for my novel...which is not written yet.

The second part to "Dennis & The iPhone Train Blues" has been on the backburner since August, but it'll get written eventually. I said that about the Villain Countdown too, but I managed to get that done.

The 5 Rings of Subparity - August 12, 2008

Due to the timeliness of the Beijing Olympics, I decided to look back at the lame Olympic Mascots of years past. It seems that I missed one:

Magique from the 1992 Albertville Winter Games. I can't believe that I forgot to include this guy the first time around. He's definitely the wussiest mascot ever. For one, he's French. Also, he's a Man-Star-Snowflake Thing wearing a Fez. None of that speaks "Global Unity" for me. He kind of reminds me of Maggie Simpson's star-shaped winter onesie. I wish we all wore Fezzes, though.

The Best Torso In Football - August 24, 2008

This is another favorite of mine. Combine Frank Caliendo's John Madden character with a ramble about a movie about Brett Favre. All thanks to my co-worker Tim for his love of frank Calidendo, and for Newsday for giving us Brett Favre's picture for inspiration.

The Muppets Take Washington - August 30, 2008

With the Election next week, I suppose it's time to revisit my entry where I compared various political figures in the '08 Election to their Muppet counterparts.

Rent...In 10 Words - September 5, 2008

Summing up the musical Rent in 10 words stemmed from a conversation I had with a few friends roughly two years ago. Somehow the topic of Rent came up and I offered my summation: "I have AIDS! I have AIDS, too! Yay! The End."

A few months ago I realized that this little summary was exactly ten words long. This led me to launch my spinoff blog "In 10 Words." Go read now!

Galileo For Veep! - October 2, 2008

On the topic of election, you might have known that I'm running for Vice President. It doesn't matter what I'm elected Vice President of, I just want to be Vice President. I'm of course, technically competing with dohopoki, who is running his "Vice Presidential Exchange Program," which is an entirely different campaign than mine. He wants to be Vice President of the United States. I simply want to be Vice President.

Despite this, he had the nerve to run a smear ad against me:

Ha! The last part of the Villains Countdown is up now! Your mudslinging has all been dried up! And before you make your vote this November 4th, just look at our competing Facebook groups: Mine currently has 41 members, while dohopoki's has only 9. And here I thought I was going to need that 30 minutes of airtime to preempt Obama's 30-minute ad.

By the way, this seems as good a time as any to announce my running mate for the top of the ticket:

So vote Robot Nixon/Galileo in '08! "Because: Why Not?"

So that's like...41 out of 100 entries that were really that awesome. What were YOUR favorite entries of mine so far?

Let's hope the next 100 entries are just as awesome!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Haunts For Haloween

As I mentioned in the previous post, Halloween is only two short weeks away. As other blog buddies have jumped on the Halloween Train, I've been getting careless and let silly things like school get in the way of entries that I want to write that don't involve animated villains. Thank God that's all over.

As every major holiday should, there should be dozens of songs that remind one of said holiday. Like Christmas, Valentine's Day, and yes, even the Summer Season itself, Halloween has one hell of a lot of great songs to get you in the mood. While the songs for all of those holidays can only be tolerated around the month that precede them, Halloween songs simply seem to be listenable year-round.

I was originally going to make this a seasonal spinoff of my "Soundtracks For Summer" series, but I decided that this entry actually does flow better as a list than a bunch of entries that literally go on for the whole summer without covering many songs that I'll never get to. For one thing, the material I have for the songs won't cover full posts that look like I cobbled them together at 3am in one go like all of the other posts I've ever written.

Here now, is a list of my favorite Halloween songs.

This Is Halloween - The Nightmare Before Christmas

One can never go wrong with the opening song to the great "Nightmare Before Christmas." While the Marilyn Manson cover is fantastic, you can't quite beat the original.

Grim Grinning Ghosts - The Haunted Mansion

Thurl Ravenscroft is the glue that holds this excellently spooky song together.

Ghostbusters Theme

It wouldn't be a Halloween Song list without the excellent theme to Ghostbusters. Ray Parker Jr. only needed to record that one song and never work for the rest of his life.

The Monster Mash

Likewise for the late Bobby "Boris" Pickett tune Monster Mash. Interesting to note that the Simpsons episode "I Love Lisa," which dealt with Valentine's Day, both began and ended the episode with this song.

Note to self: Start a band called "The Cryptkicker Five."


Thriller cannot, and never will, be forgotten. It's a fact that it's on my short list for "Favorite Music Videos Ever," and I absolutely love the ending where MJ spouts werewolf eyes, implying a sequel that will take place at Neverland Ranch.

Okay, so the embedded video is the Filipino Prisoner version, it still kicks ass.

Dead Man's Party - Oingo Boingo

Oh great, not ANOTHER Halloween song list with this! It deserves every right to be on those lists, this song kicks ass. I love the intro to this song, with the horns signifying that this is, indeed, a Dead Man's Party.

Garfield's Pirate Song - Garfield's Halloween Adventure

If there is one Halloween special that I love to death other than "Great Pumpkin," it's Garfield's Halloween Adventure. While the special has a few other great songs, some with Lou Rawls goodness (Scaredy Cat, What Should I Be), it's Garfield's rendition of "Yo-ho" that gets me aching for candy, candy, candy!

The Weird Science Theme

Another Oingo Boingo great, this theme complimented a great 80's movie that would lose all meaning if it were to be remade today. Back then, it was completely plausible for someone to load pictures of supermodels into a computer via a nonexistent scanner and create the ultimate sex symbol with it. I've attempted this experiment myself, and all I managed to get is this:

I apologize for unleashing her upon the world.

The vid above is my favorite cover of the song: The Tesla Coil version of Weird Science. Nothing quite says "Weird," "Science," and "Geekery" like Tesla Coils, and teaching them to play Oingo Boingo.

Halloween - Stephen Lynch

This is what Halloween truly means to me. It always manages to pull laughs out of me. This tune exemplifies our childhood fantasies of what was behind the doors of that house that always had the lights off, the universal sign of "I was too cheap and lazy to get to CVS to get a bag of Mr. Goodbars."

For more Halloween tunage, click here to go to's Halloween Jukebox. 100 Songs to get your scare on!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

What should I be?

Well, folks, Halloween is only 2 weeks away, and I can't decide what I should be this year.

Here's my short list of possible costumes:

Anton Chigurh - No Country For Old Men

The Dude - The Big Lebowski

Damien Hirst

That guy that puts a shark in a pool of formaldehyde and calls it art, and promptly sells it for millions of dollars.

Dr. Forrester - MST3K

The thing with this costume is that it's quite hard to find a green lab coat and green-rimmed glasses this close to Halloween. I also need someone to be TV's Frank.

The Joker - Heath Ledger version

I can simply get a Joker suit, then dye my hair green and put face paint on. The shoddier the job, the more psychotic I look.

Mostly, I'm lazy, so these costumes are ones that I can hobble together quite easily. I'm not really a fan of store-bought costumes, and the best ones are always improvised. My first choice was Chigurh, and then The Dude simply came to me in a dream a few days ago, telling me that if I dress up like him, I shall abide. It's a good thing I've neglected to get a haircut, as these costumes allow me to not purchase a dumb wig that I'll never wear again.

So, I'm at an impasse: What should I be?

Sunday, October 12, 2008

The 50 Greatest Animated Villains of All Time (Part 5)

This is it: The Top 10. This the part that everyone wanted to see, and it's finally here! It's been a great series, and I loved writing it.

We've truly seen some greats. To refresh your memory of the 40 villains that didn't make it to this entry:

Part 1 (50-41)
Part 2 (40-31)
Part 3 (30-21)
Part 4 (20-11)

I'll confess: I wrote most of this part before writing all of Part 4. I've had the Top 10 set for a while, but I couldn't wait to write it down.

So here, now, are the 10 Greatest Animated Villains of All Time.

#10: Yosemite Sam - Looney Tunes

Voiced By: Mel Blanc

We start off the final part of our countdown with that oh-so-classic Looney Tunes villain Yosemite Sam. Why does he outrank Elmer Fudd, Bugs Bunny's most quintessential villain? He's just as dumb as Elmer, and he likes to shoot things, but it's Sam's personality that makes him better.

While Elmer is a hunter, he only does so for sport. Outside of the woods or hunting season, he's generally a nice guy that's always suffering on the business end of Bugs's ass kicking.

Sam, however, is a genuine douchebag. It's his arrogance that sets him apart from the rest of the Looney Tunes villains. He's got a short temper, won't hesitate to shoot things that piss him off, and is rarely a nice person. He, unlike Elmer, won't back down to the old "I dare you to step over this line" trick, which in most cases sent him off a cliff.

In more recent Looney Tunes ventures, while Elmer is usually seen as an underling or a willing partner of other "good" Looney Tunes when the plot calls for it, Sam is usually cast as a villain.

To sum up his personality, here's an exchange between Bugs & Sam in an old cartoon about both of them running for mayor:

Bugs: (as Teddy Roosevelt) I speak softly, but I carry a BIG STICK!
Sam: Well, I SPEAK LOUD! AND I CARRY A BIGGER STICK! (he then proceeds to whack Bugs over the head with his bigger stick)

#9: Dick Dastardly & Muttley - Wacky Races

Voiced By: Paul Winchell (Dick Dastardly), Don Messick (Muttley)

Ah, yes, Dick Dastardly & Muttley from the Hanna-Barberra series "Wacky Races." These masters of trickery piloted Car #00, "The Mean Machine" during the Wacky Races, an ongoing contest to crown a racer the title of "World's Wackiest Racer."

Every episode involved Dick Dastardly & his dog Muttley setting elaborate traps against the other competitors in order for them to gain an easy victory. Of course, such as Wile E. Coyote can never catch the Roadrunner, The Mean Machine was the only one out of 11 cars to never win a single race. In fact, had they not constantly stop to set or fall for their own traps, they could easily win every race just by their pure speed. Hell, there were several instances where they never made it to the finish line, either by being arrested or flying away somehow.

In the World of Hanna-Barberra cartoons, these guys were their go-to villains. I've always wondered why they were always used and H-B had not bothered to come up with better villains. Let's look at the other memorable Hanna-Barberra "villains":

-Ranger Smith from "Yogi Bear," the Boss character who was usually mean and kept attempting to keep Yogi & Boo Boo in line.
-Mr. Slate from "The Flintstones," the Boss character who was usually mean and kept attempting to keep Fred Flintstone in line by constantly threatening to fire him.
-Mr. Spacely from "The Jetsons," the Boss character who was usually mean and kept attempting to keep George Jetson in line by constantly threatening to fire him.

Hmm, they all seem pretty interchangeable. It somewhat makes one regret that H-B always resorted to "Villains of The Day" in every single show they ever did, including the aforementioned shows.

But somehow Dick Dastardly & Muttley stand out. Dick was, well, a dick and always imagined up some crazy schemes to take out the other characters in order to gain victory, treasure and/or stopping that pigeon. Of course, Dastardly would always fail and Muttley would just giggle in that smoker's wheeze of his.

In case you're wondering, the closest they ever got to winning was 4th place, which occurred when Dastardly stopped to pose for a Photo Finish in the first episode.

#8: Mr. Burns - The Simpsons

Voiced By: Harry Shearer

Full name Charles Montgomery Burns, he's the character that defines "evil" on The Simpsons. He's primarily based on the boss characters I mentioned earlier, with a pinch of old-timey "release the hounds" Robber Barons. The fact that this single man owns a utility (in this case, the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant), makes him pretty intimidating. Thanks to this, along with general evil, meanness and greed, he is one of (if not THE) most powerful person in Springfield.

Ironically, due to being 104 years old, he's also the most fragile character on the show. His physical strenght varies between episodes. In one, he can be strong enough to lift a bowling ball and almost roll it down a lane. In another, he's unable to grab a teddy bear out of a baby's clutches.

As far as villainy goes, he has done it all: Become the most powerful man in Springfield, smuggle prescription drugs over the border, shut down the town's power in protest to a strike, capture the Loch Ness Monster, build a Casino, employed said Monster in said Casino, credits his long life to Satan, ordered a hit on the Rolling Stones after the Ramones insulted him through song, attempted to kill 25 puppies to make a tuxedo (kill 2 for matching clogs!), cheated at a softball game by hiring nine professional ringers, ran for Governor of the state that Springfield resides in, blocked out all TV and Beer in Springfield to get back his beloved Bobo, made working bombs for the Nazis, has contracted every disease known to man but exist in perfect balance within his body, became a powerful member of the Republican Party, monopolizing all media in Springfield, using his recycling plant to clean the ocean of its inhabitants, attempting to make himself a God, dumping nuclear waste in a playground, posing as Wavy Gravy to disrupt Greenpeace, stealing a $1 Trillion Bill meant for Europe and accidentally giving it to Castro, stealing Christmas from 1981-1985, and possessing a Richard Simmons Robot.

But by far his most villainous deed was building a slant oil drill to siphon the oil field underneath the Elementary School and subsequently blocking out the sun in order to have his Nuclear Power Plant to be the sole energy provider in Springfield. This event, as Smithers put it best, is when he "crossed that line between everyday villainy and cartoonish super-villainy." These two events resulted in the entire town calling for his death, and when he was finally shot, an entire mystery was set off in the only 2-parter in the show's history to discover the shooter. Then we found out it was Maggie.

#7: Scar - The Lion King

Voiced By: Jeremy Irons

So what if "The Lion King" was a ripoff of "Kimba The White Lion" and "Hamlet," we were 6 when we watched this and we didn't give a damn about that little fact.

In classic Disney form, Scar is a villain wishing to depose of the current Pride King (in this case, his brother) in order to rule the Pride for himself, via the usage of manipulation and henchman. And, oh yeah, this time he actually kills off Mufasa by letting him fall to his death to a stampede of Wildebeests while his son watches in horror. So after getting rid of Simba, he takes over the Pride and the kingdom falls into ruin. In a cruel twist of fate, the climatic battle ends with Simba dropping Scar to his death, and the Kingdom magically turns back to normal.

I must credit Jeremy Irons for his excellent work in voicing the character. He made Scar threatening, ruthless, menacing, and cold. And when he shut up Zazu for humming "it's a small world," you could feel his pain.

Also, it didn't hurt that the entire "Be Prepared" sequence was based on Nazi marches from WWII. Scar: He's Not Afraid to Annex Poland!

#6: Lex Luthor - DC Animated Universe

Voiced By: Clancy Brown

I guess I should explain what the "DC Animated Universe" is to my readers who have no clue what this is. This is the term given to all of the animated DC Comics shows that were produced by Bruce Timm. Crossovers happened quite often, and Justice League had tied just about every previous series together into the same continuity. The series in question: Batman: The Animated Series, Superman: The Animated Series, The New Batman/Superman Adventures, Batman Beyond, Static Shock, The Zeta Project, Justice League, and Justice League Unlimited.

And in this universe, one of its top villains is the legendary Lex Luthor. If I need to explain that he's Superman's archnemesis, why are you even reading this? While his appearances in Superman: The Animated Series mimic his role from the comics, that being a corrupt white-collar criminal bent on ruling the world and destroying Superman, it's his role in the Justice League & Justice League Unlimited series that made this great villain even better.

One of his more infamous plots was to run for President of the United States, which was part of an elaborate plan to make Superman angry. It was all a red herring to support Project Cadmus, a organization dedicated to wipe out the Justice League, should it ever turn on Earth's Population. Thank to some events from the Superman series, Luthor's mind is melded with Brainiac's, which made for some great stories involving Luthor becoming obsessed with resurrecting him. One such plan involved Lex merging with Braniac into one super robot in order to destroy the Earth. This was ultimately thwarted by The Flash. At the end of the series, he eventually joins, and later takes over, an organization similar to the Legion of doom in order to finally resurrect Braniac, which later fails when he discovers that he instead resurrects Darkseid. As it turns out, he's the one that ultimately stops Darkseid by giving him the Anti-Life Equation that he ultimately sought for.

#5: Satan

Voiced By: Harry Shearer (Devil Flanders, pictured)

The King of Darkness, Satan, The Devil, Beelzebub, Old Scratch, Your Mom, etc. himself ranks at #5. I don't think I need to give some info on who he is, but he represents ultimate evil. The ruler of Hell, he's the one character you never want to meet when you die.

So why only at #5? Well, that all depends on which interpretation of Satan we're talking about. This entry represents every interpretation of Satan in the medium of animation. Depending on which TV show you watch, or what movie you see, Satan is either totally awesome, or a complete pansy. Pictured above is one of my favorite interpretations, the Ned Flanders Devil from the Treehouse of Horror IV episode from The Simpsons.

And now, some other well-known animated Satans:

-Satan from "South Park"
-Chernabog from "Fantasia"
-The Robot Devil from "Futurama"
-The Devil from "Lucy, Daughter of The Devil"
-Hades from "Hercules"
-The Blues Devil from "Metalacalypse"
-Peaches from "Rocko's Modern Life"
-Hell, you can even argue that Unicron is the "Transformers" version of Satan.
-The Angel Satan from "The Adventures of Mark Twain" (warning, clicking the link sends you to a VERY creepy clip of said special)

So, if Satan only ranks at #5, which 4 villains have him trembling in fear?

#4: Megatron/Galvatron - Transformers

Voiced By: Frank Welker (G1 Megatron, Post-Movie Galvatron), Leonard Nimoy (Movie Galvatron)

There was no way that I was going to leave off Megatron, the leader of the Decepticons. In animated villainy, this is as badass as we can get. First off, Generation 1 Megatron is the most beloved out of all the Megatrons that have since come into being. Why? Because he transforms into a fucking handgun. Physics defying aside, you have to admit, that's pretty awesome. Sure, you need someone to hold and fire you, but when you have enough firepower to blow a huge metal chunk out of a 12 foot robot? I have the feeling that some shrinkage wouldn't be a bad tradeoff.

As leader of the Decepticons, and being pretty brutal at it, he's virtually unquestioned by his loyal minions. Save for Starscream, of course, who finally deposed of Megatron near the middle of Transformers: The Movie after the battle that mortally wounded Optimus Prime.

Enter Galvatron. With Unicron's "help," Megatron is reformatted into a totally new character voiced by Leonard Nimoy. He shows off his new found power and badassness by tracking down Starscream and promptly blasting him to bits the second he's crowned as the new Leader of The Decepticons. The trade off? While he's super powerful, he's still Megatron on the inside and refuses to take orders from anyone, including Unicron. This is when a fail-safe is activated by Unicron to damage his mind whenever he got out of line. This eventually drove Galvatron insane, and by "insane," I mean loving to blast his fellow Decepticons for no good reason but for pure joy.

These two are paired as one entry due to the Japanese. Yes, since they never produced the movie, they had to write a hasty storyline creating Galvatron as a brand-new character different from Megatron. Then there were all of the post-Beast Wars series that had Megatron evolve into Galvatron, who was more or less a superpowered recolor of Megatron. All to force everyone to buy another damn toy.

#3: Judge Doom - Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Voiced By: Christopher Lloyd.

To the 8 of you who haven't seen this great movie: I apologize for spoiling the ending. Hell, the above video is pretty much the ending.

Despite appearing live-action for 95% of the movie, Judge Doom is included here due to the revelation that he was a Toon the entire time. This remains one of my all-time favorite movie reveals, right up there with "Vader is Luke's Father," "Rosebud is a sled," "Kevin Spacey is Keyser Soze," and "Everyone dies at the end of Cloverfield."

With villainous actors, you can't go wrong with Christopher Lloyd. Sure, he's more well-known from "Taxi" and "Back To The Future" as protagonists, but I know him as Judge Doom. A few other great villains he's voiced include Rasputin from "Anastasia," Merlock from "Ducktales: Treasure of The Lost Lamp," and The Hacker from "Cyberchase." (I don't watch it, but it's to appease any 8 year olds who might be reading this.)

He is the only actor who could've played this excellent part: Old town Judge and businessman who buys the Red Car Trolley company to replace it with a Freeway, and clearing Toontown in the process with his DIP concoction. DIP, of course, is a mixture of turpentine, benzene and acetate, known paint thinners. It is, at least established in the movie, the only surefire way to kill a toon. Sure, you can make them die laughing, but then you have their angels to deal with.

The detail that I certainly can't forget about him was when he finally reveals himself to not only be a toon, but was the murderer of R.K. Maroon, Marvin Acme, AND Eddie Valiant's brother as his voice gets progressively higher in pitch.

"Remember me, Eddie? When I killed your brother, I talked... just... like... THIIIIIISS!" And then his eyes shoot out into Daggers. Damn, I loved that.

#2: The Joker - Batman: The Animated Series

Voiced By:
Mark Hamill

The greatest comic book-adapted-to-animation Villain is The Joker from Batman: The Animated Series. Nicholson, Romero, Hamill. Heath Ledger had some pretty damn big shoes to fill in The Dark Knight, and I must say he filled them quite nicely. So, out of those four great actors, how come Luke Fucking Skywalker is there, and is also the lone animation representative?

It's quite simple. First of all, you have the great writing that went behind Batman: The Animated Series, with several of the greatest episodes involving The Joker. The series took pages from both the dark comic roots and the campy 60's live action show and mashed them into the homocidal trickster we see today. They usually involved Joker creating some elaborate plan to destroy Gotham city and to unmask Batman, but with great writing. Second, Mark Hamill's excellent voice work, as he created this Joker to come off as vile, insane, but humorous at the same time.

Third, it's the fucking Joker. He's there to be the Yan to Batman's Yin. One couldn't exist without the other, and the death of one would mean a tragic victory for the other. Batman would've killed Joker, but he would be a murderer like him. Likewise, if Joker ever killed Batman, he'd have no purpose, as about all of his plans involved with him merely screwing with Batman.

For more information about this excellent character, rent some DVDs and read some comics. This is a 10 entry animation list, not a Joker Love Orgy (despite sounding like a great idea).

So it's all come down to this. Which villain was so awesome and evil that they earned the top spot on the list?

#1: Maleficent - Sleeping Beauty

Voiced by: Eleanor Audley.

Yes, Beaming for Bunnies readers, my ranking of the Greatest Animated Villain of All Time™ is Maleficent from the 1958 Disney Movie Sleeping Beauty. Look at her, that screams "OMG! LOOK AT THAT FUCKING THING, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER!!!"

For a Disney villain, she is the one that truly defines it. Sinister, manipulative, legitimately frightening henchpet (her raven Diablo), wields magic powers, is much uglier than female protagonist and curses her for it, and is able to call upon "all the forces of Hell" to shapeshift into this:

Damn. As the story goes, she curses baby Princess Aurora to die by pricking herself on a spinning wheel on her 16th birthday. As it was the Middle Ages, spinning wheels were as widespread as iPods are today, so Aurora was fucked. Thanks to her three fairy guardians, they managed to change to curse to have her sleep for 100 years and could only be awakened by a necrophiliac Prince. That was a start. Of course, this does happen, and Prince Philip eventually finds Aurora to get his corpse freak on, and battles it out with Maleficient in one of the greatest clashes in all animation.

They sure don't make them like that anymore. She pretty influenced Disney Villains more than the Wicked Queen ever could. It's a known fact that Ursula, Jafar, and Queen Narissa from "Enchanted" were all either heavily influenced or modeled after her. Whenever Disney has its villains attack in a group, who is the leader? Maleficent. Who is the main antagonist in the "Fantasmic" show? Maleficent. Who is the fucking antagonist in "Kingdom Hearts?!"

Ansem. But mostly Maleficent.

One commentator asked if the #1 villain, in this case, her, ate babies. My answer: We were never told if she did. Hell, that's probably why the good fairies protected Aurora, to keep Maleficent from eating her at her Christening. Angry at this, she then curses her, and the story really begins.

And there you have it. It took me 8 months, but I did it. A complete countdown of the 50 greatest animated Villains of All time. Who did I miss? Different ranking? Comment below!

In the near future, I'm going to combine all 5 entries into one super-post with a rewritten, updated list to boot!

In the meantime, I'm gonna go lie down. See ya at the wrap party!

Monday, October 6, 2008

Who Are You?

This is a question that's been wandering in my head for a while: Who are all you people?

I'm well aware that I'm getting views and lots of visits. What I want to know is where are you all coming from? How did you find me? Who are you?

I'd like to know. I'm very curious. The problem is that this is a Blogger blog, and there's no real feature that tells me just where this site is being linked from and who's visiting. Hell, I don't even know how many people visited this blog before May. Wordpress is no problem. They got stats, backlinks, incoming links, stuff people are clicking on, etc. Blogger? None of that.

This is where my question arises. Please help me answer it. Thank you.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Galileo for Veep!

With the election being so close and tonight being the Vice Presidential Debates, it seems that I must raise an important topic.

Mostly, it's that I got inspired to once again jump on the bandwagon that was started by a fellow blogger. Dohopoki had started a "Vice Presidental Exchange Center," and by God, I'm throwing the proverbial hat in the nonexistent ring as well.

To put it plainly: I, Galileo, am announcing my candidacy for Vice President! Vice President of what, you ask?

I don't really care. If there is a "Vice President" slot open, I'm your man! Just check out my Vice Presidently Credentials:

1) "Galileo" is name that people trust, provided that you aren't currently living in the 16th Century.
2) I have plenty foreign experience. One of my best friends is from India, I've been to World Showcase in EPCOT twice, and I have seen license plates from all 50 States and 4 Canadian Provinces.
3) I, too, pine for change. I need some to get my daily bottle of Vitamin Water. $2.25 my ass, SJC.
4) Can willingly shoot aforementioned best friend "accidentally" while hunting, and he'd be the one to apologize. I am loved just that much.
5) I love kittens. Yes, you can has cheezeburger!
6) I also love puppies, but not Chihuahuas. They can't has cheezeburger.
7) I have leadership experience that spans over 10 years, mostly involving Pokemon. I push "A," they shoot Aura Sphere. That's respect you can't buy!
8) I have the power to think about a certain episode of any TV show and it will appear on TV within 48 hours.
9) Need a distraction? No, problem! Refer to Credentials 4, 5, and 6.
10) Hey, Kool-Aid!
11) Galileo Galilei discovered the moons of Jupiter. By proxy, that makes me an officer towards Intergalactic Peace. Until I find a planet that's populated by women that all look like the Sailor Scouts, then you're on your own, buddy.
12) My solution to the economic crisis: Stop buying stuff you can't afford.
13) My solution to obesity: Stop eating so much. It's your own damn fault. McDonald's did not force you to get fat, you just ate there anytime you felt hungry instead of the usual "once in a while" timeframe.
14) Mahna Mahna.
15) Doot doot do doot doot.
16) Etc. Just Vote, damnit.

So who would be my running man who will appear over my name on the ticket? Just look at this campaign ad and see:

So Vote Galileo for Vice President! "Because: Why Not?"

I'm Galileo and I approved this message.

UPDATE: Join the "Galileo for VIce President" Facebook Group! Now with "Vote 4 Me" Button goodness!

Void where prohibited, especially your Mom's House. By reading this sentence, this clears Galileo, Galileo's campaign manager, Beaming For Bunnie's Blogroll, hamsters, In 10 Words, and any and all facial hair of all liability. Dump tell no Mandy, but this is just a lan mower turned backways. Do not take if you are pregnant, thinking about being pregnant, or being in the same room as the word "Pregnant" duct taped onto your wall. The other UFO is an upside-down salad spinner. Note: If you have chest pains, earaches, bad credit, no credit, rustproofing errors, dry nose, dry mouth, cottonmouth, worms, Earthworm Jims, Slim Jims, Jim Norton, Ed Norton, the other Ed Norton, Norton Antivirus, John Madden Syndrome, Aqualung, Hysterical jars of foot cream, Scoliosis, footburn, eyespolsions, rectal frosting, strawberry fillng, Frankenberry, Boo Berry, Chuck Berry, Berry Manilow, Banana Cream discharche, Achy Breaky Pelvis, homework due in 12 minutes, toenails lasting up to 4 hours, a copy of "Sweatin' To The Oldies Vol. 3," Chihuahua Metamorphisis, and/or Spinal Cord Wax Museums: Sorry, that's your problem. This is just fine print for a fake political ad that was paid for by people who want to pay me to lie to them that I am running for Vice President. Please check out his "In 10 Words" blog linked earlier in this tiny paragraph.