Saturday, March 30, 2013

Milkshake? Rub some bacon on it!

A few 4/20s back, I wrote how my friend Danny and I hit up a Denny's to partake in their "Baconalia" campaign. As in, they make a crapload of things with bacon and everyone cheers because bacon makes everything better.

Well, this month Denny's FINALLY brought it back, and guess who went back for more punishment? Yeah, you're reading this now, so I guess you can assume who it was.

I started with this little appetizer, Bacon BBQ Mac & Cheese Balls. I haven't had too many opportunities to eat fried macaroni and cheese, but hell, there's bacon in it so why pass it up? If you are forced to have fried mac and cheese for any reason, I urge you to suck it up and just eat it. These were pretty good, and Denny's being Denny's, the cheese sauce you see there was not only filled with bacon, but was as think enough to get the spoon you were eating it with completely stuck in it. Tasted good, but that picture alone is terribly fattening, so let's move on.

What bothered me most was that the Three Bacon Sampler from two years ago wasn't being offered this time around (damn you Obama!!), so I had to settle with the Ultimate Bacon Breakfast. See, Denny's gets this right. This should be the appropriate amount of bacon any sort of serious eating establishment should serve you with any breakfast item, but they usually give you two measly slabs. This is what I think counts as a pile. A limited time pile, but a pile. And like the eggs and hash browns you see next to it, a pile should be the only way these kinds of foods should be served. So yeah, it was good, too. Pretty hard to screw up breakfast food, and this delivered quite well.

Before I cover the reason why I came here in the first place, I should finally illustrate my friend Danny's eating habits.

Here's the before picture. Yes, he got the same Ultimate Bacon Breakfast that I got, but that's an entire pot roast dinner next to it. And a milkshake. Not to mention eating some of those mac & cheese balls I posted earlier.

Not 10 minutes later, I think he had enough. Well, no, he just told me he's eating BBQ wings now. I need skinnier friends, guys. and without further stalling:

Behold: The Maple Bacon Milkshake. I already had the sundae, so this was the next logical step. For the squeamish, it's the same principle as an Oreo milkshake...except with bits of bacon instead of Oreos. There was vanilla ice cream and lots of maple syrup, it was essentially drinking a pancake. Hell, I thought it was pretty good and a hell of a lot better than the sundae. For one, it's not solid, save for the bigger bits of bacon at the bottom. And there was no disgusting pool of syrup, either. I give it an A+.

All in all, this experience was much more pleasant than I was expecting. The things I do for web journalism, folks. I'm gonna go lie down and have a few heart attacks now. Happy Easter, everyone!

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