Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Mmm...Bacon Sundae

Since today is, or rather WAS 4/20 when I started writing this, I decided to celebrate by noshing on some classic stoner food at my local Denny's.

You'd think people didn't WANT to admit they come here.
My only regret for today's quest was not taking a picture of said Denny's. This one's from Virginia, but out of the 17 pictures of Denny's buildings on the internet, this is the one that looked the most like the one I went to. So let's pretend that it is, and if I know my chain restaurant buildings right, it must have been a former Sizzler by the look of the roof there. And trust me, a Denny's replacing a Sizzler is an improvement. A SLIGHT improvement, but an improvement.

But let's get down to business, I was there to partake in Denny's Baconalia, their salute to all things bacon.

Not pictured: The whipped, congealed, and choco-tastic groups
It's really a far cry from the Old Me who used to despise bacon, then apologized for said despising years later. After much deliberating about which part of the pyramid would pour the most crap into my heart, I went with the Triple Bacon Sampler.

There's bacon in the hash browns!
The name of the thing makes it obvious that you get THREE kinds of bacon with the meal: Regular Bacon, Pepper Bacon (essentially Bacon, but with huge flakes of black pepper embedded into it), and Turkey Bacon. They say Turkey Bacon is better for you, but being bacon, it still passes the "rub something against a piece of paper until it turns clear" test as prescribed by good ol' Dr. Nick.

Dr. Nick Riviera: Fellow graduate of Hollywood Upstairs Medical College
If I were to rank the three bacons by personal preference, it would go like this:

1) OG Bacon
2) Turkey Bacon
3) Pepper Bacon

While nothing beats Bacon Classic, the turkey bacon was surprisingly decent. It tasted like the love child of turkey an bacon would taste, with a thick, smooth texture that provided a contrast with the extra-crisp pepper bacon. I'm more of a fan of chewy foods, so I wasn't really impressed with the shrapnel that dug into my gums that I got whenever I bit into the pepper bacon. Also, the overall pepper taste was just too intense for my taste. This wasn't spicy, mind you, but imagine picking up a pepper grinder, opening it up, and biting into a solid peppercorn while having bacon in your mouth. THAT'S what the pepper bacon tasted like.

The dish also came with eggs (quite good, especially since Denny's is the fast-food equivalent of an actual diner), and hash browns that was covered in cheese and more bacon. The pepper bacon aside, it was a pretty good meal which I finished off with the TRUE reason I showed up to the place:

I took the picture. My friend Danny is the one in the frame.
BEHOLD: The Maple Bacon Sundae, something that usually seems reserved for Man V Food or one of those "I'm an idiot for eating this" videos that you see on youtube. I should've been tipped off to the novelty of the whole ordeal when the waiter was all too giddy to hear my order. "Oh, another foolish victim," he probably thought. Indeed, just about everyone in the place was staring at me when I got it. Hell, that guy/lady in the upper left of the picture is looking right at me!

Despite what you may think, this was simply an ordinary sundae. Two scoops of vanilla ice cream, lots of maple syrup, and topped off with whipped cream. Oh, and bacon. You see, some folks like to have nuts or other crunchy things to top their ice cream. Here, it's just like that, only it's bacon instead of almonds. Since you mostly get ice cream in every bite, I mostly tasted the crunch of the bacon. Again, not a fan of getting shived in the mouth by my food, but the ice cream coated the bacon just enough for it to not do too much damage.

Hell, the saltiness and crunch of the bacon provided a good contrast too the sweet and creamy texture to the ice cream. And I'll add that the maple topping was pretty good, but as you can see in the picture, lots of it pooled at the bottom, which gave the inquisitive eater a little science lesson about density. Much like oil/water, it seems that both bacon and ice cream float on maple syrup. After several failed attempts to get maple, bacon, and the ice cream all in one spoonful, it was time to give it up and send for the check.

All in all, the overall dessert was quite good, and I definitely recommend trying it once. I know that I'll probably never touch it again, but I have this blog to record it posterity. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to lie down and have a heart attack.

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