Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Things That Start With A

We kick off June blogging with an idea that was inspired by fellow blogger Dan's take of other fellow blogger dohopoki's idea to create an entry about stuff relating to one's life that start with a certain letter.

So, continuing this line of "theft," I present some things that start with A.

Asteroids: Yes, either the kickass old school video game or the big chunks of space rocks, they're both pretty much awesome. This subject came into recent view when I learned from the British "Numbers We Pulled Out of Our Arses Society" that there are the bizarre odds that one British citizen will be killed by one every 7,000 years. They've also calculated that there is a 5,000,000/1 chance that a Brit will die while being scalded by really hot tap water. Pansies.

A Case of Spring Fever: One of my favorite shorts from Mystery Science Theater 3000. It's a PSA of sorts when a man, when frustrated by repairing the springs in his couch, wishes for the eradication of all Springs. That's when a weird, Elf-ish thing named Coily appears to grant him his wish. Since this is 1950's America, the man finds stuff like his door, his car, his rotary telephone, and his Anti-Commie Spring Gun all cease to work due to "NO SPRINGS!" as taunted by Coily in that weird, squeakish voice of his. I'm pretty sure he was voiced by Mel Blanc.

After the man realizes the mistake he made, he wishes that his first wish be taken back, and Coily begrudgedly agrees. You'd think that was the end, but the short continues for another five minutes!! (I'm not making it up, watch it here). "Shouldn't this be over?" questions Servo about five and a half minutes in.

So ecstatic that he's learned his lesson, the man explains The Wonders of Springs™ to his friends during a Golf game. Unfortunately, everyone is so annoyed by him, they're even more annoyed by that fact that since he drove their carpool, they couldn't leave him at the golf course to be alone with Coily forever.

This short (and others like it) most likely inspired the awesome "World Without Zinc" film on the Simpsons. (Geek time: it was the episode "Bart The Lover")

Atlantic City: Yes, New Jersey's answer to Vegas...I've never been there. I always wanted to go there, but I hadn't been old enough to enjoy it to its full advantage. But now I am, and from years of hearing offhand experiences and all the stuff to see there, I actually want to venture there to try the slots, saltwater some taffy, and enjoy the Boardwalk. I may need to append my "To-Do List For Summer" for this.

Alton Brown: For the 8 people who read this and don't know who he is, he is this Down-to-Earth Nerd personality on the Food Network who brings a side of Entertaining, Intelligent, Knowledgeable Geekiness to anything relating to food. Name any kind of culinary object, and he'll tell you what it's scientific name is, different ways of how it can be cooked or used in cooking, what to cook it with, what kind of drink, utensil and cheese to have with it, who invented/discovered it, ten local places to buy it, what elements make it up, how to react to it in a sexual encounter with it, and at least 5 ways he can use said object to kill you. All while being witty and humorous without having to resort to any monosyllabic catchphrases for no good reason.

Hosting shows like Good Eats (where he describes in detail all of the items I said in the above paragraph on a specific dish squeezed into a half hour), Feasting on Asphalt (travelogue version of "Good Eats" going from location to location while riding a motorcycle), not to mention Iron Chef America, Next Food Network Star, and "Generic Cooking Competition #___," he's one of those rare people that makes any show more awesome & credible by his mere involvement.

He must be seen to be believed, but he's pretty much one of The Most Awesome People Alive. He's Hip! He's Cool! He's 45! But who cares, he's awesome. Thankfully, anyone who ever watched him agrees. I'd hate to say it, but it's a good chance that his Food Network Opposite may be Guy Fieri. (Who is 40, but acts 22. Don't worry, he'll be getting his spot here eventually)

I have a girl friend who once asked me which celebrity I would "go gay for," and while I didn't have an answer at the time, I'd have to say this guy.

AMV's: These are those random youtube videos where people stick random songs over clips of copyrighted material, usually anime, to see how "funny" it would be to have Naruto sing "Numa Numa" or Oscar The Grouch sing "Uncle Fucker" with Elmo. It's quite rare that these videos had actually attempted to sync up the clips with the song itself, and it's even rarer to actually be funny.

Here's a good example of one that I liked that was shown by Bill of VeggieMacabre:

Not particularly the funniest one that I've seen, but it's amusing and pretty inspired to boot. Also, It's Ween, which is great in itself.

"Where does Coily fit in God's plan for us?" ~ Crow T. Robot


Anonymous said...

I always wondered about those "world without" videos. I've never seen a proprer one till now.

DC said...

I think I need to steal the idea and continue this chain of theft. Eventually we can all get through the alphabet.

Dan said...

I agree with you, Alton Brown is THE man on Food Network. I tried to explain his appeal to people before he became Mr. Food Network but was just met blank stares, now those same people are the ones singing his praises.

Oh and MST3K is pure awesomness.

Review the World said...

asteroids and alton brown in one blog post? classic. - speaking of mr. brown, were you a fan of Feeding on Asphalt? - i think it's an awesome concept for a show - hope they'll do a 3rd season.. - as a fellow X-E fan, if you ever have some spare time, check out my site as you may dig some of the content.. - be well!

Galileo said...

Even though I mention it above, yes I am a fan and hoping for Season 3 as well. You should've seen the look on my face upon discovering "Feasting on Asphalt: The Book"!

And I completely forgot about your site going back up! I need to check it out. You also need to post at X-E more often.

Darth Sarcasm said...

I too enjoy Alton immensely.
Yet I cannot stand Guy, sorry.
It's seems like he's trying too hard for me. Now that I've learned he's 40, it rings true.He looks like he's going for a hip 20 year old with the bleached hair etc.
Alton is a true geek and not afraid to show it.