Sunday, June 29, 2008

The Coach Z says: "I have more than 2 prablems."

So it's come to this...the Letter Z. Who would imagine that I'd actually finish this little "project?" Certainly not me.

Z was also the last letter that was covered by someone else. Namely Dan, who had beaten me to it by about 3 weeks.

Z is there at the end of the alphabet to be just that, the end. It sounds like the perfect coda to the wonder that is The Alphabet Song. "W, X, Y, ZEE!' Imagine if the alphabet ended with a different letter? "W, X, Y, S!" "W, X, Y, A!" "W, X, Y, F!" Would never sound the same, would it? Especially the version that ends with A. You'd be like "Wait a sec...did we start over?"

I have no idea how the Alphabet was formed, but the guy who decided on the order must have had some sort of grudge against Z. For instance, Z was always the one that took the last danish, or cut the guy off in traffic moments before heading to the meeting where he decided on the order of the letters.

My opinion? Z slept with N, the Alphabet Order Guy's favorite letter. He was so ashamed that he stuck N before O, and Z at the end. It was so damaging that not many common words start with Z.

To give Z the credit it deserves, here, for the last time, are some words that start with Z.

Zoo: I love the Zoo, especially the Bronx Zoo. I have always had a love of animals, and while I don't like to touch them, I love to look at them through the safety of a 10 inch thick piece of glass. I haven't been to the Bronx Zoo in several years, which is a shame since they added so much new stuff. The last time I went there was the year before they opened up Congo Gorilla Forest. That was around 2000. I remember seeing the gorillas in the Ape House, which was since torn down and the location is where the Butterfly Garden is now.

I like looking through the history of places such as the Bronx Zoo, where what buildings used to house what, what's there now, what was it like when it was in the previous incarnation. The Bronx Zoo was famous for having a "Lion House" that held all of the Big Cats before moving them out into open exhibits like Tiger Mountain (where they used to hold Mexican Gray wolves), or the Africa exhibit. It's now used to house animals from Madagascar. I always wished that the characters from that crummy movie were put on display so I could demean them for being in such a crude piece of crap. That's when I remembered that they lived in the Central Park Zoo, and it is not the reason why I haven't been to the zoo in about 8 years.

My favorite exhibit? Jungleworld, where it's 80 degrees of mist 24/7. Whenever I step outside during a humid, drizzly day and sniff the air, I always seem to say "Hmm. Smells like Jungleworld." My other favorite is the Reptile House, which is awesome. The best detail? Right outside of it, there is a manhole cover with the TMNT logo on it. I don't know if it's still there, but I swear that it was there.

Since it was always a staple of school trips, I always manage to achieve a state of disbelief over meeting someone who never went there. "Go there!" I say, but they always do the same thing. They give me my Big Mac and tell me to go sit down.

Zocchihedron: The given name to a 100-sided die. This is the kind of topic that strays away from Geekery and dips into the realm of Nerdular Nerdence. I have absolutely no experience with Dungeons & Dragons, nor what the purpose of a die with 100 sides is, but I love funky dice. I love dice in the first place, with one of my favorite kinds being the traditional Vegas Dice with transparent colors. Hell, a pair from the Taj Mahal in AC remains one of my favorite possessions that also double as cat toys.

But if dice have more or less than 6 sides? I'm all over that shit. It just seems irregular. I remember wandering through my local comic shop to the shelf that had the D&D dice.

"A die with 4 sides? No way!"

Sadly, I never bought any of those. Six was always the regulation number of sides for dice. In three dimensions, that's a cube. But two dimensions? Six sides is a Hexagon. I remember when I learned about the 10-sided figure, the Decagon. "Holy crap, so that's what it's called!" I still don't know what a 7-sided figure is called, though. Heptagon? Octagon with a chunk bitten off?

Zoidberg: One of the best characters from Futurama, and one of my favorites. He plays the role of the "Doctor" of Planet Express, though as the series has progressed, it seems to be a self-proclaimed title. While being both miserably poor as well as miserably lonely, several jokes involving scraps of food and "real diplomas" are usually at his expense.

It's his quirky one-liners and comic timing that make him a stand-out favorite for me. Since he's from the planet Decapod 10, he has aquatic tendencies. He scuttles, confuses human anatomy with one of his own (and well, being ignorant of humans entirely), speaks with a Yiddish accent, sprays ink, he molts, and makes squeals that sound exactly like a lobster being steamed.

Hell, when Fry, Leela, and Bender were fired from Planet Express, it's revealed that Zoidberg was the Popular One, so everyone must now talk to him.

Among one of my favorite Zoidberg moments is during the episode "The Deep South" where he adopts a large conch shell as a new house at the bottom of the ocean.

"Look at me, Dr. Zoidberg! Homeowner!"

It subsequently burns down somehow. "So THAT'S where I left my cigar!" quips Bender.

For those of you not in the Futrama loop, the 2nd of 4 Futurama Epics "The Beast With a Billion Backs" was released on Tuesday, and there is much Zoidberg goodness! Although he doesn't have a large part, he is still causing hilarity with impromptu one-liners and abuse from the other characters. Those out there who are not in the know must be converted to the Futurama Goodness.

Zoot: One of the members of the Electric Mayhem from the Muppet Show. Serving as the band's sax player, he had his largest role during the first season. He was pretty much a toned down version of the personality that Floyd would later serve with better ability.

It seems that he was overshadowed by the more interesting bandmates of the Electric Mayhem, which happened to be the other 4 members. Floyd, Janice, Dr. Teeth, and of course Animal proved to be more dynamic and funnier characters. Zoot simply became a silent character and settled for playing the Sax 'til Muppet Kingdom Come. At least he managed to have a somewhat large role, as he is glad to not be the most obscure member. That goes to Lips, the trumpet player that was added in Season 5, and a bongo player that only appeared in the Dizzy Gillespie episode.

Zoot ending up getting the last laugh, though. He was the last Muppet you saw at the end of every episode. It just seems fitting to have Zoot as my final subject in the last "Things That Start With ___" entry.

So that's it. Twenty-six days, twenty-six straight entries. I'm never doing something like this again. Anyone else can take these reigns. Hell, do single entries for all I care, despite knowing that "Galileo did it first." Well, I'm not the first person to do this, but I am the first to do this for twenty-six straight days. At least I can finally sleep without thinking that I forgot to write an entry.

I know that I said that Daily Blogging will end, but that's not entirely true. What I mean is that Guaranteed Daily Blogging is ending. You might click to this blog tomorrow and find another entry. Who knows? I will.

"I read the Dictionary the other day. Turns out the Zebra did it."~Steven Wright


Dan said...

I gotta hand it to you, you did it! I thought about doing something similar but I doubt I could make it for twenty six straight days. And not only did you do it for twenty six straight days but you kept it entertaining! Bravo my friend, bravo!

Anonymous said...

Aww, I'm a bit sad that it's over. I really had a lot of fun reading these and thought about doing something like this myself, but I know I'd slack off after F and it would take me about 10 more years to finish.

Anyway, you done a great jorb.

JoshC said...

Wow, you did it, and I'm sorry, but I thought you were just going to phone it in for the last entries, but every day was as awesome as the first.
Kudos my good man!

Anonymous said...

Hurrah for completionism.