HI, BILLY MAYS HERE...WAIT, NO I'M NOT!

I guess you're all wondering if I have anything to say about Billy Mays, who died unexpectedly earlier today. Well, I do. AND TO PROVE TO YOU THAT I DO, I'M GOING TO SHOUT FOR THE REMAINDER OF THIS ENTRY OUT OF RESPECT.



YOU MIGHT REMEMBER A FEW MONTHS BACK I HELD AN INFOMERCIAL PITCHMAN TOURNAMENT, PITTING 16 OF THE MOST WELL-KNOWN NON-CHUCK NORRIS INFOMERCIAL SPOKESPEOPLE IN A SINGLE-ROUND ELIMINATION FREE-FOR-ALL. DUE TO LACK OF INTEREST AND EVENTS TO AWESOME TO DESCRIBE INTO WORDS, BILLY WAS EVENTUALLY CROWNED THE WINNER IN THIS ENTRY.

WHEN BILLY FIRST EMERGED ONTO THE SCENE, I HAD THE SAME THOUGHTS AS EVERYONE ELSE: WHY DOES THIS GUY YELL SO MUCH? HASN'T HE EVER HEARD OF "TONE IT DOWN," OR AT LEAST "QUIET?" SURE ENOUGH, HIS SHOUTING HAD REACHED INTO THE MINDS OF US ALL, STARTING WITH OUR MOMS. WHAT DID HE START SHILLING? WHY, OXYCLEAN, ORANGE-GLO AND KABOOM, CLEANING PRODUCTS THAT, I'LL ADMIT, ACTUALLY FREAKING WORKED. AND SO, EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING WANTED BILLY TO SHOUT THEIR PRODUCT DOWN OUR THROATS.



I'LL ADMIT, HE GREW ON ME, AND I FELL IN LOVE THANKS TO THE UTTER HORRIBLENESS OF ALL THE OTHER PITCHMEN TO COME AFTER HIM: ANTHONY SULLIVAN, THAT GUY FROM THE NUWAVE OVEN INFOMERCIAL, AND VINCE THE SHAMWOW GUY. I HATE THEM SO MUCH. I WOULD GLADLY TRADE THEIR LIVES TO BRING BACK BILLY.

AND IF YOU ACT NOW, I'LL TRIPLE THE OFFER! MOMS CAN'T GET ENOUGH!

HE GAINED A BIT OF RESPECT FROM ME WHEN, DURING VARIOUS INTERVIEWS, HE REVEALED THAT HE DID INDEED HAVE AN INSIDE VOICE! AND WHAT HE DOES IS "PROJECTING," MAINLY SPEAKING LIKE YOU USUALLY DO, BUT MANAGING TO TURN UP THE VOLUME KNOB ON YOUR VOCAL CHORDS.



I GUESS THE ONLY THINGS I HAVE LEFT TO SAY IS THAT GOOD NEWS: WE WON'T HAVE TO SIT THROUGH ANOTHER LOUD INFOMERCIAL. BAD NEWS: WE WON'T HAVE TO SIT THROUGH ANOTHER LOUD INFOMERCIAL.

WE'LL MISS YOU.

The Trifecta

Before I get to some new, actual entries, I'd like to comment the recent celebrity deaths.

First up, Ed McMahon

Quite tragic, but sadly, I'm much to young to have actually witnessed anything he was famously involved with, with the exceptions of the Publisher's Clearing House ALF's short-lived talk show, and the occasional Jerry Lewis Telethon. What I do know is that he was the greatest Sidekick in the history of TV, and he's in heaven now, with fellow second banana TV's Frank, keeping Johnny Carson company.

A 10 Word tribute can be found here.

Also, he's the second announcer to die who was in this New York Lotto ad:



Don LaFontaine, who died late last year, is also here. All I have to say is...Watch out, Jeopardy Announcer Guy!

Then earlier today, we lost Farrah Fawcett



Pic was taken at a time when she was worth ogling at. I'm not a bad person, but I was getting fed up with how little time she had left. For every day for a few weeks back in May, people were talking about Farrah Fawcett, and how she was fighting her epic battle, and how little she had left, and what would happen with Ryan O'Neal, etc. Cancer is a horrible, horrible thing, especially ass cancer, but seriously, I've been on a death watch for her for the past two months. She's at peace now.



And of course, not to be outdone, Michael Jackson died earlier this evening. I wasn't an OMG Uperfan of his, but I am a fan of "Billie Jean," and "Beat It," Thriller being one of my favorite music videos of all time, and being an all-around nice guy for letting Weird Al parody his songs. I honestly thought the King of Pop was on his way to another semi-Comeback, but sadly, it seems that it won't happen while he's among the living. Or, whichever parts could have been counted as living, anyway. I was in Buffalo Wild Wings when the big tv on CNN was reporting that he was taken to the hospital for cardiac arrest. This usually isn't good, as cardiac arrest means "you gonna die, sucka." Then when it changed to "coma," I turned to my friend Steve and told him that we should let out all the MJ jokes that we can before he dies and "too soon" kicks in.

Here is that list:

-Jacko is now on his backo for good.
-He overdosed on Jesus Juice
-He didn't die, it was actually a man named Leon Kompowski
-Bubbles reportedly inconsolable
-He suffocated on his magical bedsheet, believed to give him sexual powers
-Now who's going to dangle babies out of windows now?
-Hey, at least we'll probably get cheap Beatles songs! And Earthbound!
-Of course he liked little boys, there was no part of him that was older than 18
-Hey, now he can re-enact Thriller!
-He had a heart attack when he found out that Farrah Fawcett died.

When he finally did die, not 10 minutes later the jukebox in the place started playing "ABC." If that wasn't enough, it was followed by "Billie Jean," "Thriller," and "Beat It."

Soundtracks For Summer: Vacation

Part 10 in my ongoing "Soundtracks For Summer" Series

We come to the 10th part in my nth part series of songs that define Summer with the last entry that I had on the backburner for the past YEAR. Yes, it's been slightly over a year to the day when I posted the first entry to the series, which if you remember was The Enchanted Tiki Room. I have no clue why I only posted 9 entries last year, but I assure you that Soundtracks For Summer: 2009 Edition will feature MORE entries.

We begin year 2 of the series with that famous hit by The Go-Gos, Vacation.



This video in particular is sadly not the music video with the Go-Gos water skiing and such because none of the vids of that on Youtube are embeddable. With that out of the way, this is a song that lives up to its name: It's about vacations and having fun on them. You're not where you live, only your family knows you there, and you try to booze and score knowing that there's a slim possibility that you'll ever return.

Hence, this song is usually blasting through the speakers when you're making your awesome roadtrip to your destination, whether it be Vegas, Orlando, or your Mom's house, you know everything's gonna be fun where you're going. If anything, you'd just be flashing back of that infamous tape of the Go-Go's all high and talking about sex and drugs.

It's one of the most awesome things on Earth, and I haven't been able to experience a true vacation in about 2 years. It's usually due to my family vacationing in Upstate New York (Usually Lake Placid & Lake George) every year since I was around 5, and 15 years of spending a week up there got a little tiring. It's not Disney World or Vegas where there's something new each time. Oh no, while it's quaint with its touristy atmosphere and mountain air, nothing really changes. People in Lake Placid still believe the Winter Olympics are going on up there, despite it not being held there in 29 years.

I long for change. Cedar Point, Hersheypark, Disney World, Comic-Con and The Buffalo Wing Festival are my Top 5 vacation destinations. Will anyone help me out?

And we can't talk about a summer song called "Vacation" without the version by Vitamin C:



It's most known for opening up the Pikachu's Vacation short that was shown before the first Pokemon movie back in 1998. As lame and cheesy as it was, with this song pumping over the walking footage of Pokemon, we all thought for the first one and a half minutes that this segment was gonna be just fine. Sadly, we got our hopes dashed before the good stuff came on.

But back on the subject, while this is not a cover of the Go-Go's song, it seems to be a more modern pop equivalent of it. As much as I hate modern pop, or pop in general, it's still awesome and just as pump-worthy as the Go-Go's version, with Pokemon to boot!


I'm also taking reader submissions for future "Soundtracks For Summer" entries. If you've got an idea, pop me an email at beamingforbunnies@gmail.com with the name of the song, and a reason or two why it defines "Summer" for you. You'll be glad you did.

BTW, The next few Soundtracks For Summer will be: School's Out, Walk The Dinosaur, and Paradise City. Got any memories for those songs? Pop me an email!

New Entry Coming Soon!

I'm working on some new actual entries at the moment, but for now, let's see what else is on...

Oh, The Places You'll Go!

This blog has been around for well over a year and there hasn't been a single entry devoted to a Dr. Suess book?! This changes now!

As you might have read, I recently graduated from College. And with Graduation, comes graduation parties, and of course, graduation gifts. Aside from the usual boatloads of money and the occasional Buffalo Wild Wings gift card, I got this:



A copy of Dr. Seuss's inspirational "Oh, The Places You'll Go!" Since its posthumous publication in 1990, this Suess tome has been given to many a graduate, with myself becoming one of its most recent recipient. I'm pretty sure that it's now a law to be given this book once you graduate from SOMETHING by now, and I had to wait until College to finally read it. I didn't want to spoil myself. For those of you who haven't graduated yet, the book is about traveling into the world,
facing all the wonders the world has to offer, from riding balloons, walking under a tent held up by four Hortons, encountering fuzzy Krackens, walking in a parade comprised of more Hortons, and playing a game with Horton that involves nets, roller skates, and curved structures that only Dr. Geisel understands. And somehow, you'll get fame. Or maybe you won't. But maybe you will. You'll go somewhere, and now you have the chance! Make up some funny names, maybe wear some pants.

No, it's not one of those things where I read it and then die in 7 days. That's more in Yertle The Turtle's territory.

As I looked at it, this wasn't no bargain basement Suess book. If the barcode on the back of the plastic covering was any indication, this version cost $25! That was thankful, as this one's a nice hardcover edition that can crush a few Wockets in the pockets. Speaking of which, saying to a girl that you have a Wocket in your pocket is just asking for trouble.



Ah, Random House, I should've known. This gift came from a more...affluent member of my family, and it just so happens she works at the company and must have gotten it comped. Good for my aunt. Well, she is one of those friends of my mom's who was around me all the time as a child and called her "aunt" just out of habit. One who was more well-off than any of us and lives in Manhattan (or as we in Long Island call it, "The City"), near Central Park. She didn't just give me the book, either. The book itself was wrapped in an expensive-looking foily blue wrapping paper topped off with a similar costly-looking blue bow. There was also an attached card containing a check for $150. Hooray.



Here's what the book looks like outside of its sleeve. It's mostly the Suess Teal with that gold bordered Graduate Boy on the bottom right. If you've been wondering about the backdrop, it's a blanket of the "Look at All The Simpsons Characters We Can Fit on This" variety that was given to me as a gift last year. I cherish it dearly, it's too incredible to rest on a bed. No, it must respectfully drape my futon, covering some...unsightly stains all the while!

You see, the title of "Simsons Geek" is something I take seriously. I have the T-shirt version of that blanket, and when someone boasts that they're a Simpsons Geek, I reveal the shirt a la Superman and ask them to name as many characters as they can. Either it becomes a good game, or they fail with a blank stare on their face. Either way, I win and I gain 20 experience points.



And here's my buddy Dennis looking at the book, getting inspiration, it seems. Or he's wondering why my camera sucks along with the fact that I can't hold still for two fucking seconds. Too much Coke. Acola.



I leave you with some inspirational words from the first page of the book. Thanks to the crap lighting and my inability to not think of placing my camera atop of something flat, here is what it says:

Congratulations!
Today is your day!
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

A View Inside My Noggin

I know some of you good folks out there wonder "Hey, how does Galileo come up with all the crap he does? What exactly goes through his head?" Due to my tenuous grasp at describing things and my inability to temporarily remove my brain from my skull, I had been unable to answer these questions.

But, thanks to recent breakthroughs in modern technology, we can finally see what the hell is currently going on in the gray matter that makes up my mind:

80's Cartoon Themes are...Unique

I've been doing some research for my upcoming "50 Greatest Animated Theme Songs" countdown when I stumbled upon this video of someone's Top 10 80's Cartoon theme songs:



It's basically "Nine 80's Shows You've Never Heard of...And Jem." You'd think that kind of video would feature the themes for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, GI Joe, Transformers, or Thundercats, but nope. Who ended up winning? Jayce & The Wheeled Warriors.

For those of you who think themselves as too important to watch a ten minute video, the rest of the themes are: Visionaries, Dinosaucers, SpiralZone, Mighty Orbots, Galaxy Rangers, M.A.S.K., Defenders of The Earth, Pole Position (seriously?!)...and Jem.

Looking at the info of the vid, the creator had picked his criteria on the theme song alone, and not the entire show itself, and I'll admit that I agree with him. I've noticed that theme songs from the 1980's had a unique trait not found in any other decade, which is that they could take the lamest premise ever and make them incredibly kickass. They made you PUMPED to watch the show, and you wouldn't care until fifteen minutes in that it sucked hard. I was quite surprised about how many of them were ripoffs of Thundercats, Masters of The Universe, and/or GI Joe.

"Dude, they're like GI Joe, only they drive vehicles that spit out smaller vehicles, and they wear MASKS!"

"Some of the GI Joes wear masks, too!"

"But it's the 80's, so they're going to wear big-assed square robot masks! Square, large and bulky is the future! No one is going to have electronics that are are small, curvy and practical."

"(sigh) Gnarly."

Take the first theme seen in the video, Visionaries. It was a show based around figures that looked like this:



Toys with holographic animals on their chests for no exact reason. But according to their theme song? Totally fucking nuts. The animals jump out of their chests and beat up...the bad guy's chest animals. I once knew a girl who had a chest animal, but I think it was just her excuse to not go out with me.

Then there was the seventh theme in the vid, Defenders of the Earth, who consisted of Flash Gordon, The Phantom, Mandrake the Magician, and Lothar The Token 80's Minority Guy along with four generic kids defending the Earth. They were all bound by their sense of justice, adventure, and the fact that they were all owned by King Features Syndicate and it was an easy way to exploit these unrelated characters. Robot Chicken righteously mocked the series by having them be part of a Neighborhood Watch Association, with their jurisdiction of "The Earth" only being their block.

As Lots of synthesizers, guitar riffs and F-list glam rock singers usually spruced up any 80's theme song. But in the decades beyond the 80's? If the show had a lame premise, the theme song quite reflected that.



There's also the fact that theme songs have been getting shorter and shorter to fit in more commercials. While I do despise this grim fact, there have been many an 80's cartoon whose theme had nearly a quarter to half of its run time devoted to exposition of the series. Not in song or in tune, either. Someone just speaks the premise of the show and throwing off the entire groove of the song. This is all because the main plot, if there was any, wasn't going to devote any of their own damn time to do it. They just wanted you to see which character or accessory was blandly animated that week and persuaded you to beg your parents to buy it.

I don't think any of those themes will show up for my list. Maybe Jem. But that's pushing it.

To-Do List for Summer: '09 Edition!

It's the beginning of June, so you know what that means? No, Billy, not that. Nor that. CERTAINLY not that. Jeez, where did you learn that language?

Anyways, it's June, and Long Island just hit the first day with 88% humidity, so that means it's Summer! And with summer, comes time to do stuff! I know, I know, I've been slacking on this blog lately (but not this one), but that's going to change. To be sure that I'm serious, I really mean it this time!

If you all remember last year, I had spent all of June writing an entry a day about all the letters of the alphabet. Will I do a part 2 this time? The answer is "hell no." It took me ages to think up subjects to begin with, let alone elaborate on. Especially on words that start with Q, which to this day remains the most likely way people find this blog. So many people wanting to read about Quisp, so little time. The other thing I did at the beginning of the summer (eg, Early May) was create my now-annual To-Do List for Summer, of which I was able to complete...most of the items. But this is 2009, and since we're currently in Early June, well into the College Summer season, I'm happy to say that I've completed three of my objectives!

This years list:

-Graduate College. Done! Obviously, I talked about that in the previous entry. It still feels weird to be "done," and I'll admit, I'm a bit unsure about this whole "rest of my life" business.

-Go to an Amusement Park. A few weeks ago, I went to Six Flags: Great Adventure in NJ once again, and I had good times. It was the Friday before Memorial Day, a sure bet for an easy day at the park, as I had done a similar trip on that day two years back. That trip might've benefited from the rainstorm earlier in the morning, as the sun was out in full force this time, which had everyone in the whole damn state say "Hey, it's sunny, let's all go to Six Flags at the same time!" Jeesh, you'd think it was June with that crowd.

Rides worth waiting for: El Toro, Nitro, Batman, Kingda Ka.
Rides Not: Umm...Just about everything else. I'd comment on Bizarro, the newly repainted & re-themed Medusa (which was awesome), but it wasn't open yet.

The one I really want to go to is Cedar Point in Ohio, but no plans have emerged yet.

-Go to a Yankees game. Did that on May 20th with about 9 other people from my CVS job, their home game facing the Baltimore Orioles. It was one hell of a game to go to, as my beloved Yanks shut the birds out 11-4. I sat in the left-center bleachers and I have to tell you, the cheap seats give you a pretty good view. It was sort of a shame that we weren't sitting in the right-center bleachers or center field since that's where EVERY BALL EVER HIT went to. I later found out that the new Yankee Stadium was built to do this. Sneaky, Yanks, and the whole architecture seemed to scream "Looks swanky enough to justify the price gouging." Mmm...$9 Bud Lights.

-See the following movies: Up and Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen. These are my two "Must See" flicks for the summer, and as indicated in my previous entry, Up was pretty awesome. As for Transformers, I had my doubts, like who was returning, who wasn't, was Soundwave going to be in it? I nerdgasmed on my laptop when I found this latest trailer:



Holy. Shit. Ok, you got me, Michael Bay, I'm officially pumped for this. That big red...giant thing in the desert? That's Devastator, bitch. Sure, I was quite fanboyishly pissed that they switched around all the vehicles for this version, as if Long Haul, the one that transformed into a dump truck in the G1 version and served as the crotch, finally complained about his position in the organization and Bay complied by making him an arm. But sadly, equilibrium and the laws of physics make the thing look much more awkward, as Long Haul and one of the Constructicons that served as one of the legs are now one of the arms and vice versa with the smaller arms now being legs, giving him too much upper body weight with little leg support, much like how Kirstie Alley moves around now. Okay, I'll stand corrected if the reason why Devastator is pissed is because of this situation and realizing that combining wasn't such a great idea. Because that sounds hilarious.

By the way, "The Fallen" doesn't refer to Megatron (although he is returning), but the actual transformer referred to as The Fallen. In the grand lore of Transformers, he was one of the original 13 transformers created by Primus (whose alt mode is Cybertron itself), but went rogue by siding with Unicron, Primus's planet eating monster evil-twin. I don't wanna reveal much else, but I'm counting down to June 24th.

-Watch all the DVDs I haven't gotten around to watching yet. Which is a lot of them, sadly including Venture Bros: Season 3.

-Go to American Roadside Burger and get my name on the wall. Now, American Roadside Burger is a little place in Smithtown, NY that is known for good, cheap, burgers with free fixins. That's 4 for 4 in my book right there, but there's more. They have what's known as a "Roadstar," a cheeseburger with 4 patties and if you finish it, you get your name on their Wall of Fame. I'm no stranger to Eating challenges, but I hear that this one's not tough at all. As it turns out, their patties are roughly the same width as a normal McDonald's burger, but, you know...made with actual meat, so this means that eating four at once should be no problem at all. Some of my fellow fraternity brothers have their names up there already, with one claiming to have done it six times. If that little midget could do it, dammit, so could I!

-Blog some more. Doing that right now! And later on, so stay tuned!

Some Thoughts in Μy Head

1. As of this past Tuesday, I am now a College Graduate. Four years in College and a lifetime in school are finally over. It's quite a strange feeling, I'm still not grasping the situation of "I'm done." The outside world, "Real Life" is a strange, strange place that I don't wanna dip my toes into just yet. To answer any immediate questions: Major was Psychology, final GPA was 3.24, not going to Grad School, don't know what kind of "real" job I'm going to do now. Anyone hiring a snarky pop culture blogger/ten-word summarizer? I think Jimmy Fallon needs some humor. Then again, late-night shows in general that don't have "Jon Stewart" or "Colbert" in their names tend to employ writers of the burnt-out variety. I keep watching these shows and I keep thinking "I could write better crap than that!"

When I came home that Tuesday night, look what I found laying on my table:



Hmm...a large, present-shaped box. I wonder what's inside...



OMG a Lappy to call my own! In the 4 days I've had it, I loaded up AIM and Firefox and now Lappy seems to have replaced my old Compy desktop. Seriously, that thing is OLD. As in, it had Windows ME when I got it (to y'all that aren't familiar with that one, it makes Vista look like XP, or to the laypeople, instead of freezing or locking up that it did now, any wrong move got me the Blue Screen of Death™). As such, it's a good 50x faster, especially here on Blogger. No more waiting forever to post entries here!

2. Speaking of In 10 Words, my other blog, I spent the last 2 weeks summarizing all 10 movies produced by Pixar, ending with today's entry, Up after seeing it earlier today. My longer-than-10-word summary: It's great, and if you have the chance to, see it in 3D. Sure, some of the colors may be a bit lost, but that factor is minor at best. The breathtaking visuals are made even more awesome by the 3D, especially during any scene in the air (which, for a movie called Up, is about 85% of the movie). The first 15 minutes set up Carl's (Ed Asner) relationship with his late wife Ellie, incredibly sweet and touching and gives ample motivation for Carl to initiate his adventure. There was plenty more heartwarming moments in the movie (many calling back to the initial sequence), along with genuine humor (a lesser movie would've had a field day giving unnecessary bathroom humor from Russel and Dug, but thankfully doesn't happen!), action, charm and heart. Yeah, it's VERY rare these days to use the words "charm" and "heart" to unironically describe an animated movie. Sure, it's not as balls to the wall action and OMG TEH AWESOMENESS like past Pixar flicks like The Incredibles, but it's not trying to be. The pacing just seemed...right. It didn't need 2 hours to tell the story, no real complex twists or annoying characters at all, and it all seemed (gasp) realistic while being immersed in the fantastic.

A friend of my buddy Steve had told him that Up seemed the most outlandish of all of Pixar's movies. A story of an old Widower and plucky Wilderness Explorer lift a house off the ground by balloons to travel to South America to meet a giant Bird and dogs that can talk via special collars is less believable than toys that talk and move when we're not around (three times!), talking ants and bugs that are circus folk battling grasshoppers, Monsters that live in a world powered by the screams and laughter of children, superheroes living in a PG Watchmen world, talking fish swimming the ocean and surviving sharks, bombs, whales and sewer drains, a talking rat that can cook and can control a human by tugging his hair, sentient cars that live in a world populated by other sentient cars, and a robot living in a post-apocalyptic Earth ravaged by pollution & consumerism that travels into space to find a colony of extremely fat humans. Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. If anything, the only plot points that I had thoughts about was Russel's backstory with his parents, and why exactly caused Muntz to put translation collars on his dogs (Speaking of dogs, if you thought Dug was funny, Alpha's voice was the subject of lots of genuine laughs). And these thoughts occurred to me AFTER I left the theater!

For those of you looking for the obligatory Pixar shoutouts: John Ratzenberger appears about 15 minutes into the movie as the Foreman who talks to Carl about moving out of his house. The Pizza Planet Truck is tricky to spot, it can be seen in a tiny form on the ground getting out of a space in a city during the sequence where Russel is dangling from the House via a blanket rope.

3. And then there were the trailers before the flick. Of course, they continued the tradition of showing the teaser to next year's movie, with 2010's finally being Toy Story 3! Sure, it's another sequel...but to Toy Story! But it's a second sequel...but it's following Toy Story 2! Whether that last part elicits a "!" or a "..." will be known on 6/18/10.

Aside from other crap, there was the trailer for G-Force. If you're thinking that it referred to the version known as Battle of The Planets, be prepared to be very, very, very disappointed.



It honestly looks more like a live-action "Chip n Dale's Rescue Rangers" movie, which isn't a bad idea in itself, but by the looks of things, I don't have any high hopes for this. They have a Chip (the Guinea Pig played by Nicholas Cage), a Dale (the one voiced by Tracy Morgan), a Gadget (the Penelope Cruz one, managing to give off some fanservice for the furries out there), a Monterey Jack (the Mole played by Steve Buscemi), even a Zipper (the fly)! And there an special organization that's trying to stop a mad scientist to destroy the world...Yeah, that's Rescue Rangers.

4. Girafarig would've been an unstoppable Pokemon had it been a member of the original 151. It was a Normal/Psychic type, which meant it was immune to Ghost attacks, one of only 2 types it was weak against back then, and Ghost and Bug attack were few as well as being notable for sucking hard. Then there was the absolute broken-ness of Psychic types in the first Generation, it would've been annoying to fight against.

5. People have been asking me "Galileo, what's your next epic?" after I finally completed my "50 Greatest Animated Villains of All Time" countdown back in October. For one thing, I'm already in the middle of writing more entries in my "Soundtracks for Summer" series, but I know you mean if I'm going to write another massive countdown. Well, you'd be right, I'm officially announcing that I've got another countdown in the making: The 50 Greatest Animated Theme Songs. It's a list that's been done a few times, but usually it's in the vein of "Best Theme Songs in all Genres," "Best Anime Themes," "Best [Insert Decade Here] Theme Songs," and the like. 50 is a good, clean, even number, and I can rattle off quite few right now. But in the interest of space an possible spoilerage, I wont. If you have any suggestions for either list, pop me either a comment here or an email at beamingforbunnies@gmail.com


That's some of the stuff that's been going through my head right now that I needed to type down.





6. Oh, by the way, Billy Mays won the "March Madness Infomercial Pitchman" tournament. It's a shame that such an epic match couldn't be blogged. It all came down to him and William Shatner for the Title. Lots of beard were thrown, plenty of slogans were yelled, and words were overacted before Shatner was finally imprisoned on Ceti Alpha V along with the corpse of Ricardo Montalban by Billy. Here's how he celebrated:

Simpsons Scene It: Possibility?

You've heard of Scene It?, right?



That kickass trivia game that you play via DVDs and stuff? And much like its predecessor, Trivial Pursuit, there are about a good 5,000 different themes for it, like TV, Movies, Disney, Star Wars, Star Trek, Nickelodeon, Harry Potter, Seinfeld, Friends, Dr. Who, James Bond, Marvel, WB, Sports, SNL, etc. The one common thing that ties them all together? Eventually, we all get bored of using the game board and the pie pieces and just start asking each other questions, category colors be damned.

But with all of these different versions, there's one TV show that has yet to receive the Scene It? Love: The Simpsons.

Yeah, you heard me. I bet you're just as shocked as I am. But why no Simpsons edition? I mean, in its 20+ year history, the cartoon's been adapted into just about every game in existence:

-Monopoly (Normal & Treehouse of Horror versions)
-Clue
-The Game of Life
-Wheel of Fortune
-Jeopardy
-Uno (Normal & THoH)
-Operation
-Scrabble
-20Q
-Sorry!
-Triazzle (whatever the hell that is)

It seems the only other board games it HASN'T been adapted into are Candyland, Hungry Hungry Hippos, Battleship, and Guess Who? And the thing about all of those is: ALL FOUR OF THOSE GAMES ARE PERFECTLY PLAUSIBLE.

Hungry Hungry Hippos? Self-explanatory: The hippos become Homer heads, and the marbles are all pink to represent donuts.

Candyland? Homer's "The Land of Chocolate" daydream from "Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk" could work quite well here.

Guess Who? Simple: Every talking head is now a Simpsons character. (GET ON THIS ONE RIGHT NOW, FOX!!)

Battleship? Now this one can be fun. The ships are now the following: Capt. McCallister's (aka The Sea Captain) Ship, Mr. Burns's Gone Fission II, the nuclear sub that Homer & crew piloted in "Simpson Tide," The raft that Homer, Bart, Todd and Flanders drifted on in "Boy Scoutz in Da Hood," the ship used by the Navy to blow up MAD Magazine, and for good measure, include the S.S. Antarctica.

But why has it taken this long before someone asked why there's no Simpsons version of Scene It? I only have one theory: Everything other show & movie franchise that's already been adapted are finite, they've all concluded in one manner or another. The Simpsons, however, are three episodes away from ending their 20th season, with at least 2 more on its way. Its fate would match the ones of the other Simpsons trivia games/calendars that would come before it: It would be obsolete as soon as it would be released. Sure, we'd have our game, but then the NEXT season would air and then we'd be left with one season's worth of trivia missing outside of the family huddled around the warmth of the DVR.

But just for kicks and giggles, lemme check Amazon one more time to show that it's everyone else that's going nuts:

(click)

(Release Date: August 1, 2009. For realz, yo.)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where Did I Go?

That's a good question, Me. Seems like the last entry was on April 10th, and a rerun at that. I can explain:



Okay, so I won't go as far as blaming Swine Flu, but there's really no excuse to why I've been neglecting this blog. It's mostly the fact that my time has been consumed by end-of-the-semester schoolwork. College work pretty much sucks, but the good news is that I've got about two weeks to go before I am done with it forever! I'm accomplishing the rarity of actually graduating from college in 4 years. I don't know how I did it, either.

There's also the issue of completing the March Madness series, which only had 2 more entries to go. Despite it being May and the real March Madness being over for a long time, I promise to get the next part up asap. It just seemed that I stopped being motivated from writing it due to a snag in my original vision for it: I designed it for fan participation, but it's not fun when no one enters. Is there some kind of reverse psychology that works with blogs? Every single blog I've read that asks questions or raise topics for reader comments, THEY GET THEM. Not so much with me. It seems that whenever I ask for readers for ideas, comments, or help on entries, it just manages to drive you away.

It's just words on a website, you're not deciding the fate of the planet if you want William Shatner to beat Dennis Haysbert. I'm not Matt, I can't just leave for a month and have a legion of fans run the site without me, posting whenever I'm going to finish X entry. (And believe me, I've got plenty of X entries that are currently orphaned)

But for those of you who know me are aware that I haven't been 100% neglectful to blogging. I still update In 10 Words every weekday. Maybe it's the fact that writing 10 words a day can leave me unmotivated to write anything longer than a paragraph these days. But I assure you all that all that's going to change.

I'll start by updating you of what I've been up to since I last posted:

-Got into a bad car accident. Roughly the same week as I posted the previous entry, I got into a rear-ender. You know that cop car that blocks the left lane on a highway to block the construction that follows it? Yeah, I rear-ended that. Complete miracle that I was fine, and the cop car was unharmed. It's my car that got the worst of it, and is STILL in the shop as of this writing. I just have a rental that's actually a newer model (a black 2007 Toyota Carolla as opposed to my silver 2003 one) until then.

-Joined the iPod culture! Sure, I only got a shuffle, but it's still an iPod. Kinda. I won it from Dave & Buster's for the mere price of 15,000 tickets, yay me. 3/4 full, it has all 12 of Weird Al Yankovic's Albums, 2 Ramones best-of CDs, Saturday Morning Cartoon's Greatest Hits (a CD of classic cartoon theme songs covered by 90s rock groups) and the Beastie Boys. Not an unusual combination if you read this blog as often as I do.

-Made a friend with a Japanese blogger. He blogs at Tokyo 5 on Wordpress, and found In 10 Words a few weeks ago. And, of course, when I think Japan, I think of this:






Turns out I'm mostly right. The last picture was an actual picture on his blog. Sadly, he's only an American transplant who started a family and blog in Japan, and is into KISS. Close enough for me.

So that's about it for me. Yeah, I'm fully aware that my life isn't as glamorous as this blog makes it out to be. I try to give something extra about this place as compensation.

The Game of Lent!

A good two years ago when I was still blogging on myspace, I set up my own personal goal for Lent: To go around Long Island and try the Fish Sandwiches at every Fast Food chain. For those of you are are NOT Gentiles or simply don't know what the hell Lent is (I have a loose grasp of it myself), is that in the 40-day period between Ash Wednesday & Easter, you can't eat meat on Fridays, and everyone usually eats fish instead. Unless they forget.

Basically when this season rolls around, many of the meat favoring fast food chains deck out special Fish sandwiches that are only available during this brief window of time. The only three ingredients of a fast food fish sandwich is the fish itself (usually haddock of something), tartar sauce (a nice compliment), lettuce (gotta have your greens), and sometimes cheese (just 'cause).

Fortunately, my dear readers, I managed to complete this quest in the alotted time, with a week to spare! Here, in my rewritten original words, is how they all weighed in (w/pics borrowed from Flickr):


1) McDonald's - Filet-o-Fish (regular & Double)



We start the list off with the reason why fish sandwiches are around in the first place: McD's Filet-O-Fish. Created for the Lent season after the failure of the Hula Burger (a slice of pineapple sandwich with cheese), it is one of the most popular sandwiches McDs has to offer. It's also the one sandwich I've eaten at the most. Taste-wise, it's alright, you can really taste the fish, the cheese as well as the globs of tartar sauce on it.

Through some whim, I've also once eaten the Double that they offered at the time, and it's basically the same, but with another patty. It's one of my favorites, and it doesn't give me that "I'm gonna die!" feeling that most of the other stuff McDs offers gives me. Strangely, it's one of 2 Fish Sandwiches that did not come with lettuce and came with cheese (the other is White Castle's)


2) Wendy's - Fish Sandwich



This is the sandwich that inspired me to create this challenge in the first place. Taste-wise, its OK, it was crispy, and the lettuce that was on it was a bit limp and moist, but it was OK, but not as good as the Filet-o-Fish.


3) White Castle - Fish w/Cheese



Ah yes, the Legendary White Castle. The smallest (1/2 the size of an index card), and the cheapest ($1.25). I've told several people that White Castle is an acquired taste, and this one could either be the best sandwich, or the grossest. Fortunately, I'm in the party that loves this, and I thought that it was great. Besides being one of 2 sandwiches that includes cheese and does not have lettuce, it also does not include tartar sauce (you have to put it on yourself). It has good taste, and you're better off eating it if it's the first in a series of WC sandwiches you get (impossible to have just one, as I mentioned before).


4) KFC - Fish Snacker



Ah, another newcomer to the fast food world, the KFC Fish Snacker! Depending on which KFC you go, the price can range from 99 cents to 1.50 (saw it in NYC) I, getting it in a mall, had to pay $1.39 for it. There's a reason why it's called the "Snacker", since the sandwich in the pic above is the actual size. I'm just kidding, but it is small, roughly the size of 3 White Castle burgers. I have to say, it was alright, not the best, not to worst (I'll get to that one in a moment), but I can see why The Pope wouldn't bless it.


5) Burger King - Spicy Big Fish



Here we come to one of Burger King's 2 fish sandwich offerings of the BK Big Fish. I had the spicy version, and man...BK is evil. They do mean that it is the "Big" Fish, as it is the biggest regular-sized sandwich that I had on the whole quest. They trick you into thinking that when you're eating it that it's OK to eat it, and that it tastes OK with the lettuce & spicy tartar sauce. And then the aftertaste...ick, I can still taste the low tide feeling in my mouth now. You know how some saltwater places like a bay or the ocean smells during low tide? Well, that's how the Big Fish sandwich tasted and it made me nauseous for the rest of the day and it almost derailed my quest just a week into officially doing it.


6) Long John Silvers - Classic Fish Sandwich



Ugh, I gotta cleanse the palate a little bit. Now we come to a rarity in these parts, a Long John Silvers! The one I went to, pictured above was only non co-branded one on Long Island, and coincidentally, it was directly on the other side of Sunrise Highway of my college, St. Joseph's in Patchogue. All my life, I kept wondering how that place stayed in business, only to have it close roughly six months after eating there.

If I can say this about LJS: It's something worth trying once. When I ate it, I thought it was pretty good, top tier, but not the best. Size-wise, it's the 3rd smallest, if this sandwich's lenght was measured in White Castle Bugers, this would be 4 WCs long.


7) Checkers (Fish Sandwich & Deep Sea Double)



Now we come to what I think is the best of the bunch: Checkers! There's the regular fish sandwich and there's the Deep Sea Double, the version pictured above. Hmm, I don't remember there being cheese on it, but then again, I did have that them a few weeks ago...freaking glamour shots, discombobulating me. Either way, both of them have the same stuff, tartar sauce, lettuce, (possibly cheese), and the sandwich overall tastes great. And the Double is...double good? (Edit: Turns out that this pic is indeed the Deep Sea Double and yes, I do remember Cheese being on it. Still awesome, though)


8) Checkers - Fish Screamer
Hmm, yes, it seems that Checkers made a 3rd Fish Sandwich at the time, the Fish Screamer to compliment their Chicken version for their montly promotion. There is actually a difference between the ones I just reviewed: The fish patty itself is great as always, and besides lettuce, it actually has mayo, onions, and pickles. Taste-wise..same good patty, but with all the fixin's, its taste eerily resembles the Filet-o-Fish.


9) Nathans - Fish Sandwich

(No obtainable pic found)

Here's an oversight I never noticed: Nathan's offers a fish sandwich too. I'll also admit, I cheated a bit and found it not on LI, but in Penn Station. Sure, I have yet to go to a Nathans in recent memory that was NOT co-branded with an Arthur Treacher's (I'll get to that in a bit), but I know they're out there. Very peculiar, as it is Triangular shaped, but nonetheless, it was pretty average compared to the rest. Since it was in Penn Station, It was also the only sandwich that I had access to the legendary Roy Rogers Fixin's Bar, despite already being served with lettuce, tartar sauce, and a tomato slice. It was good already, but with the fixins, it was made better. I can see why not many Nathans carry this, the ones that are co-branded would make having this seem redundant.


10) Arthur Treacher's Fish & Chips - Fish Sandwich



Another obscure chain, this primarily Fish & Chips fast food place had recently been absorbed by Nathan's and are usually co-branded with them (I've heard stories about one co-branded with a Pudgies. Freaky). Look-wise, it's not much different from Nathan's, it's triangular shaped, but there is the difference that it was fried with batter, instead of being breaded like Nathan's is. There's tartar sauce & lettuce here, and it made the sandwich taste good, but the fish itself could barely be tasted on account of all the sauce on it. I know this is making you hungry reading this, right? Didn't think so.


And we come to our conclusion. There were also A&W and Roy Rogers chains on the Island, but they weren't covered, and I offer this explanation to you: I tried, I really did.

I searched the only A&W within driving distance of myself to find that is was co-branded with KFC, so it basically meant no Fish Sandwich, or anything else A&W-related for matter save for the root beer from a tap of all things. I did manage to read the website, which stated it was only going to be offered at "Select Locations" which I guess didn't mean the ones on LI, but rather an actual full-blooded A&W place, which around here...there are none. Roy Rogers, on the other hand, I managed to find 3: 2 in Penn Plaza in NYC, and one out in Shirley. None of them had the Fish Sandwich, or any evidence of ever having it. The only time I ever saw them mention it was as a news blurb on their poorly-designed website. (clicking on anything leads you to a blank page)

Still, with 11 different sandwiches in the span of around a month, I considered the quest a success, and I'm probably not going to ever eat at many of these places again.

If I had to rank them, they would be this:

1) Checkers (Fish Sandwich & Deep Sea Double)
2) Checkers (Fish Screamer)
3) McDs (Regular & Double Filet-O-Fish)
4) Long John Silvers,White Castle, Wendy's
5) KFC, Nathan's
6) Arthur Treacher's
Last) Burger King. Yes, it's that bad, don't go there. Period. Colon: Exclamation Mark!

Commercials I Like at The Moment

You may not realize this, but I watch an ungodly amount of TV. I'm one of those people who look at those studies that the average person watches 8 hours of TV a day and think "pussies." And of course, every once in a while there are a few ads that catch my eye, whether they be gut-wrenching horrible or actually quite funny. I've talked about a few before, but I felt like sticking a few current memorable commercials in one spot:



The current ad for McDonald's Filet-o-Fish, just in time for what's left of Lent. It combines three things that make a great food ad: A pissed off friend, a catchy jingle, and a random pop culture reference. We finally got some damn use from one of those "Big Mouth Billy Basses" from the late 90's (with dozens of doppelgangers), and its execution is quite, dare I say it, inspired. I'm a lifetime fan of McDonald's commercials and I'll honestly say that this has been one of their best ads in YEARS.




Not to be outdone, Burger King, the other side of the fast food coin, recently released what is bound to be a classic in its own right. It's been a long time since their ads for their happy meal ripoffs had been successful, but I think they're finally on to something. For Spongebob's sake, this is a classic case of "Why the hell didn't they think of this sooner?!" as Mr. Squarepants has been around for roughly 9 years and the idea to combine him with a Sir Mix-a-Lot "I Like Big Butts" parody was never realized...until now. They even had the gall to put The King into this, and for once he's not the creepiest thing about this ad!




Adding one more combo to the mix, Six Flags recently combined their "More Flags! More Fun!" campaign with the Shouting Asian Stereotype with Mr. Six, the dancing Old Guy. It wouldn't be so bad due to the return of everyone's favorite geriatric dancer, but they had the nerve to give him a VOICE. Gaah! The voice does not match the prosthetic makeup job at all! I'm sure that this is all revenge against me when I had him lose to Billy Mays in the first round of my Infomercial Pitchman Tourney by having Billy turn him into Al Roker.

BTW, the vid is for Magic Mountain, so please don't assume I live anywhere near that shithole. My home Six Flags park is Great Adventure in Jersey. They at least have one of the buses that they used in the ads!


Are there any recent ads that you love/get your blood boiling?

The Cure for March Madness: Week 3

Another week of great March Madness matches. Yes, we're currently in April, but that's how brutal this competition has been going!

Week 1 can be found here, and with it, the original bracket.
Week 2 action is here.

We're now down to the Elite 8! Let's see how the matchups went in this exciting week!


Division I

1. Billy Mays vs Wilford Brimley

With the clock counting down until the final judgment, Billy found himself in quite a pickle: he was out of OxiClean and Wilford had managed to slash off a good portion of his beard and had used the distraction to charge his Diabeetus eye Beams. In a lucky break, Billy discovered that bottles of Kaboom!™ were immune to the 'beetus and used it to reflect the beams back into Wilford's own mind.

In his head, Diabeetus is eradicated and he claimed himself as the victor. It's a shame that his body told a different story, hunched dead on the ground, choking on some Mighty Putty.


2. Suzanne Somers vs Mr. T.

During a heated "when's the last time you got work" discussion, Mr. T just about had it with Miss Tighmaster and summoned the spirits of the dead careers of his fellow A-Team companions to lift Suzanne to Rerun Hell where she belongs and is forced to be the roommate of Desi Arnaz and what's left of Tim Allen for the rest of eternity.


Division II

3. Ron Popeil vs Denis Haysbert

In quite the stunning upset, Denis managed to defeat Mr. Popeil by tricking him into crawling into his own Showtime Rotisserie Oven, in which he was simply set and forgotten. Just like Battlestar Galactica!


4. Sam Waterston vs William Shatner

Sam's squadron of killer pill popping robots were no match for the former Capt. Kirk, whom he quickly sexed to death to get to Sam himself, where he promptly used Priceline to find the pipe used to make that "donk donk" sound effect on Law & Order, and drove the metal bastard straight through Sam's temple.


Damn is the only thing I have to say about that. We're in the home stretch, The Final 4!

Next week's matchups:

1. Billy Mays vs Mr. T

2. Denis Haysbert vs William Shatner


All I know is my overall bracket is toast. How about yours? Who do you want to win? Submit your winners either through the comments or via email at beamingforbunnies@gmail.com.

I would've made an updated bracket, not to mention funnier entries, but it's 3am and I'm tired as hell. See y'all next week!

The Cure for March Madness: Week 2

Wow, it's been a crazy week, hasn't it? So much so that not one person has been pinned down enough to put in some votes or brackets for the Tourney! But that's no matter, I think I know how it's gonna go down.

Want to see the original bracket? Scroll down or click the link to the right to take you to the previous posts.

Let's see the results of the first week of matchups:

Division I

1. Billy Mays vs. Mr. Six

It seemed that Mr. Six had the upper hand in the first quarter when he taunted Billy with his dancing and suggestive nature towards going to Great Adventure to ride Medusa, but he was quickly taken out when Billy poured a concoction of OxyClean, Kaboom and OrangeGlo onto his face, rendering him into his true form: Al Roker.


2. Wilford Brimley vs Matthew Lesko

The Free Money riddles of Matthew Lesko proved to be no match for Wilford's glazed eyes, which are known to shoot deadly beams of Diabeetus into one's mind.


3. John Basedow vs Suzanne Somers

In a stunning upset, John Basedow was found with a tighmaster (along with his actual thighs) driven straight through his collarbone.


4. Vince vs Mr. T.

It seemed that Mr. T had pitied one too many fools this time as Vince had caught him off guard to "pay attention to his nuts," nearly Slap Chopping his Mohawk and managed to leave no mess behind to boot. All seemed lost for Mr. T until Vince was disqualified after being arrested for beating up a Prostitute. Cue legitimate pitying of fool.



Division II

5. Ron Popeil vs David Oreck

Quite an easy win for Ron, as David was pinned down by his own Eight Pound Vacuum cleaner after forgetting after apparently setting it. But wait, that's not all: Ron even had the damn gall to send a Pocket Fisherman down Oreck's air purifier.


6. Chef Tony vs Denis Haysbert

Sure, wielding about 29 different knives would seem intimidating to anyone, except that Tony didn't count on one thing: Denis calling in his old buddy Jack Bauer to put an end to him, and Chef Tony now permanently remains in Ron Popeil's shadow. How Jack managed to pull it off, I have no clue, but Jack Bauer doesn't need a damn explanation. For you see, he's running out of time.


7. Sam Waterston vs The Magic Bullet Cast

Sam Waterston vs a bunch of hungover drunks and Aussie seemed to be one hell of a battle. Wave after wave of drunken brawls and vomit persisted for several hours until the unthinkable occurred: Robots arrived to destroy the remaining cast of the Magic bullet when it mistook the usage of the titular product as someone harming its child.


8. Jack LaLanne vs William Shatner

The World's Most Fit Old Person and Capt. Kirk: Who would win? Sadly, Shatner's phaser was accidentally not set to stun, and Jack, confused by the direct hit, stumbled into his Power Juicer and became part of a complete breakfast.



Lots of good battles, and it's looking better now that we're in the Elite 8.

1. Billy Mays vs Wilford Brimley
2. Suzanne Somers vs Mr. T

3. Ron Popeil vs Denis Haysbert
4. Sam Waterston vs William Shatner


If you want to vote for who moves on, vote in the comments or at beamingforbunnies@gmail.com from now until Friday, April 3rd. See y'all next time!