Friday, December 23, 2011

The Christmas Prophesy: Day Shall Fall and Darkness Rise...

The Story So Far... (read these first!)
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9

On the eve of the 25th Day of the 12th Month of
The 11th Year, the day shall fall and darkness rise.

Doom will come the man in red, the hero so wise.

Unless The Keys are found, All Shall Die...

Dennis: "Dear whoever is watching this right now, I have one thing to say: I'm very scared."

Dennis: "It's been one week since Megatron got a hold of all four Keys of MacGuffin."

Dennis: "We don't know how it happened, but doing so turned him into a giant monster bent on destroying not only us, but the entire world."

Dennis: "Fortunately, we have Optimus Prime and the other Autobots to keep him at bay, but we don't know how much longer it'll last."

Dennis: "But whenever it looks like the tide will turn to our side, Megatron just kicks one of the Autobots. This happens a lot, but they keep getting back up. But this time..."

Optimus: " everything hurts..."

Arcee: "Could someone just get off me?!"

Optimus: "I will once my everything stops hurting."

Dennis: "Us non-Autobots: Merv, Clapboard, and myself, have gone into hiding to make sure we don't die. We sent our friends Kirby and Seaspray to find Santa Claus and protect him should he exist, but we haven't heard back from them since they left."

Dennis: "I'd blog this on a computer instead of simply talking to myself like I've been for the past week, but if you remember last time, it turns out that our magic computer turned out to be the Decepticon Laserbeak in disguise. Fifteen Marc Maron podcasts lost for good. This Christmas is turning into the worst one yet."

Merv: "Would you cut the Blair Witch crap out for a second? It's my turn to shout head-on to an invisible camera lens."

Clapboard: "And look on the bright side, the Decepticons haven't found us yet. They might be powerful, but they're not too bright."

Thunderwing: "You know we can see ya guys hiding and talking to yaselves."

Merv: "Crap, I was hoping he wouldn't notice."

Thunderwing: "Yo, Megatron, dose little Earthlings have been ova here this entire time! How bout you smash them?"


Dennis: "...We could really use a miracle right about now."


Megatron: ARGH!

Meta-Knight: "Damn, I'm slick."

Kirby: "Did somebody order some heroes?"

Seaspray: "Looks like we got here in the nick of time!"

Dennis: "Kirby, Seaspray, you guys are okay! I was worried sick!"

Kirby: "I'm a star warrior, I was fine. I had Seaspray to help me out, too."

: "I gotta introduce you to my new friends!"

Kirby: "Meta-Knight, Mr. Snowman, and..."

Clapboard: "Wow, Santa DOES exist."

Santa: "Damn right I do."

Merv: "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, you're Mistah Snowman! From the Advent Calendar stories!"

Mr. Snowman: "Umm...darn tootin!"

Merv: "But something just Did you always have that carrot nose? And where's your ham?"

Mr. Snowman: "Uhh...of course I've always had this carrot! And that ham was getting moldy."

Merv: "Hmm. Weird."

Mr. Snowman: "Still doubting me? I'll prove you that I'm the genuine article!"


Merv: "Mistah Snowman, it IS you!"

Mr. Snowman: "Whew, dodged a bullet there."

Merv: "So how'd you guys know where we were? And how'd you get here so fast?"

Meta-Knight: "We traveled by map."

Mr. Snowman: "It was a good movie."

Kirby: "So what's the skinny here? What did we miss?"

Dennis: " know those MacGuffin Keys we were supposed to find? As soon as we got three of the keys, we were ambushed by the Decepticons."

Dennis: "...those guys..."

Dennis: "Who took our keys and combined them with the one that they had with something called The Omega Lock, which turned Megatron over there into a giant rampaging monster that's been fighting us for the past week."

Merv: "I got a sack from a giant Pokemon."

Kirby: "It's a nice sack."

Meta-Knight: "So, we made it just in time for the climax? That's just my style."

Meta-Knight: "Five giant robots attacking us? No big deal, Kirby and I'll hold them off while you guys regroup or something."

Seaspray: "Optimus, I'm here for you guys!"

Optimus: "Seaspray? You...survived. In any case, we need all the help we can get right now. And I need to owe Prowl twenty bucks."

Santa: "It's finally nice to meet the rest of the Auotobots."

Santa: "And that giant robot is the darkness that the prophesy foretold?"

Dennis: "We assume so, yes."

Optimus: "Okay, who the fuck is this guy?"

Seaspray: "It's Santa Claus! You know...the guy you sent us to protect? He gives everyone gifts? He looked like the wish granting machine from A Garfield Christmas the last time you saw him?"

Optimus: "You'd think I'd remember doing something like that. The useful Autobots are all outta commission right now or else those Decepticons would be a pile of scrap by now.

: "It just so happens that my Christmas Hand Energy can heal you guys."


Perceptor: "It burns!"

Prowl: "Well whaddaya know? We're fine again!"

Optimus: "We can't thank you enough, Magic Man!"

Santa: "It's what I do. It IS Christmas after all."

Clapboard: "Hey, what day is it today, anyway?"

Merv: "Yeah, I've been scared shitless to remember the days."

Dennis: "Hmm, who's got a calendar?"

Perceptor: "I do!"

Perceptor: "This should suffice for you."

Dennis: "This is perfect!"

Dennis: "December 24th? Ah, crap. At least we got reinforcements and the Autobots on our side."

Seaspray: "Speaking of, what about me? If you can heal my friends, why not fix my transforming problem?"

Santa: "Well, you see, Seaspray, you had the ability to transform the whole time! You just needed to believe in yourself and the Christmas spirit!"

Seaspray: "...You serious about that?"

Santa: "Nah, I'm just yankin' yer chain. Lemme give you some hand energy."

Seaspray: "I can feel it! AND IT BURNS!"

Seaspray: "TRANSFORM!"

Seaspray: "Hey, I did it!"

Seaspray: "Wow, heh, I'm just as tall as Optimus!"

Optimus: "Stop emasculating me."

Optimus: "Look like it's time to pull ourselves together and pull out the big guns for justice, Autobots!!"

Optimus: "Almost got it..."

Optimus: "There we go!"

Optimus: "Autobots, ATTACK!"


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