Saturday, December 3, 2011

The Christmas Prophesy: The Key of Wisdom

The Story So Far... (read these first!)
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3


Thundercracker: Hey, I see something right over there!

Megatron: "Well what do you know, you ARE useful for something, Thundercracker! This is precisely the monument that's on the map!"

Starscream: "Well...what happens now?!"

Megatron: "This blasted Map doesn't say anything! Only the word 'wisdom.' Pfft, nothing more than pathetic Earth words."


Cube: "Greetings, travelers!"


Thundercracker: "What the hell is that thing?! Kill it! Kill it with guns!"

Megatron: "Calm down, you idiot! It might be a trap by the Autobots!"

Starscream: "I doubt the puny Autobots could construct a cube such as this. I mean, it's hideous enough for them, but this can't be an Autobot contraption."

Soundwave: "Megatron, sensors indicate this cube holds magical properties and contains high intelligence."

Cube: "Your blue boxman is correct, for I am The Cube of Wisdom™. I was placed here eons ago to guard the Key of Wisdom, one of the Four Keys of MacGuffin. "

Thundercracker: "You sure this isn't a trap, right?"

Cube: "Yep. Lucky for you guys, you're the first group to try to find me in quite some time. Now for my other spiel."


Megatron: "Excellent. Now, we have no time for shenanigans, so hand over the key or my Decepticons will have no choice but to blast you to dust!"

Cube: "And destroy the only being in the universe who knows the location of The Key of Wisdom? Doesn't sound very wise, if you ask me. You can't find the other keys without this one, you know."

Megatron: "Ugh, very well, we'll play your silly game. I don't need to take this from sand art. State your conditions."

Cube: "The rules are as follows: I ask you the Three Most Important Questions of The Universe. Answer all of them correctly and you get the key. Simple as that, gang. If you get even one question wrong, I'll of you. The red plane guy."

Starscream: "WHAT?!"

Megatron: "We accept your challenge!"

Starscream: "You -- You can't! How can you accept this maniac's proposition?!"

Megatron: "It's the only chance we have at the key. Stop whining, it's a win/win situation for us."

Thundercracker: "So, uh, does one guy answer, someone different answer one at a time, how does this go?"

Cube: "One person must answer all three questions, but they can consult the rest of the group before answering."

Megatron: Excellent, now who will be the lucky volunteer?"

Starscream: "Never fear Lord Megatron, I shall win the key for the Decepticons!"

Megatron: "Just don't screw this up for us. But remember: win/win."

Starscream: "Ask away, oh mighty cube who will totally not kill me if I fail! Which I won't!"

Cube: "Then let's proceed. QUESTION THE FIRST: What is your name?"

Starscream: "Starscream, loyal soldier of the Decepticons!"

Thundercracker: "Pfft, loyal."

Starscream: "SILENCE!"

: "Correct. QUESTION THE SECOND: What is your quest?"

Starscream: "To find the Keys of MacGuffin! Honestly, your questions are too simple for the mighty Starscream!"

Cube: "Correct. QUESTION THE THIRD: What is the wing-speed velocity of an air-laden swallow?"

Thundercracker: "A what?! Soundwave, you can figure this out, can't you?"

Soundwave: "Indeed. Starscream, my calculations indicate..."

Starscream: "I dont need your help, Soundwave! I've got this one!"

Starscream: "I've seen this movie before! Ahem...African or European?"

Cube: "European."




Megatron: "I knew you'd screw this up. Whatever, win/win."

Cube: "Hold on, hold on, I'll level with you: You ARE the first person to throw me on the third question. Just to be a nice guy, you can have this."

Cube: "Here you go, one Key of Wisdom. Don't drop it, it's..uhh...enchanted. So be careful with it."

Starscream: "Well, that's more like it! We'll be sure to get the other keys to defeat the Autobots in no time!"


Soundwave: "Megatron, my sensors indicate that the map is showing the directions to the next key."

Megatron: "So it is! Excellent! Decepticons, we've got what we came for! Let's go!"

Cube: "So long, nice talking to you!"

Cube: "...Suckers."


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Tresjolie9 said...

Enjoyed this, one of the guardians of the keys is made of sand art, sand art rocks!

yelinna said...

I want a interrogation mark filled with full colored sand too!!