Sunday, December 11, 2011

The Christmas Prophesy: The Key of Might

The Story So Far... (read these first!)
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6


Megatron: "At last, all of the MacGuffin Keys are ours, and nary an Autobot in sight!"

Megatron: "We won't be needing this anymore!"

Starscream: "So...what happens now, my mighty liege? Aren't these blasted keys supposed to do something once they're all in one place?"

Megatron: "Hmm...for once you may have a point, Starscream."

Megatron: "Well, let's see what we got..."

Starscream: "Here's the key that I won off that idiotic Wisdom Cube. What in blazes is this thing on the square? Honestly, I never noticed it until now. Looks like Willie Nelson if you ask me."

Soundwave: "This key is from that hotel in Atlantic City."

Megatron: "Frankly, that craphole was a waste of time to begin with."

Starscream: "Especially since I lost about $8000 in our funds in video poker."

Megatron: "You what?!"

: "Nothing, nothing."

Thundercracker: "Yeah, well, here's that album from the Black Keys. That's magic, right?"

Starscream: "Possibly, as is this autograph from the human Keifer Sutherland. Honestly Megatron, how do you expect us to use these things against the Autobots?"

???: "You can't because dose keys are all fakes!"

Megatron: "Oh, it's you."

Megatron: "Thunderwing."

Megatron: "I was expecting Laserbeak to be here with his report on the Autobots, but instead I find you. How dare you show your face here after running off to the East with Straxus. Is he still plotting that useless endeavor of overthrowing me?"

Thunderwing: "Well, yes and no, Lord Megatron. Straxus overheard about this so-called prophesy and your quest for the Macguffin Keys and he sent me to tell you about those keys you have. They're fakes. All fakes."

Starscream: "I knew it! So...can I keep this autograph, then?"

Megatron: "Blast it all! Our efforts were all for naught?!"

Thunderwing: "Pretty much. But hey, Straxus sends his good tidings. It IS the Earth holiday of Christmas, and he wants you to have this."

Thunderwing: "Dis here's one of the REAL Keys of MacGuffin. I dunno where he got it from, but he told me that this was the real deal, and he wanted me to give it to you guys."

: "Whatever this Christmas is, it's come early! We're on our way to destroy those pitiful Autobots!"


Megatron: "But wait...what's this about Christmas?"

Megatron: "Soundwave, what do you have in your files?"

Soundwave: "Christmas: Definition: An Earth holiday that involves the giving of gifts by a fat human named Santa Claus. It is traditionally celebrated on the 25th day of December."

Thundercracker: "Oh, I heard about that guy! He's jolly and wears a red suit! I asked him for a subscription to GQ magazine this year!"

Megatron: "Santa Claus, eh? And he's in red, you say? And the 25th day of December? That's exactly when the doom of the prophesy is supposed to befall the Man in Red. If this Man in Red is him, someone that powerful MUST be worth looking into. Especially if he, ugh, GIVES."

Thunderwing: "Oh wait, Straxus told me to tell you has has that covered, too! He sent someone over to spy on him just in case anything were to happen with him."

Thunderwing: "Hell if I know what he looks like or if he ever got back to Straxus with anything."

Megatron: "Well, what do you know, at least SOMEONE showed signs of cunning intelligence." So...what now? None of us know how to use these blasted things, and I doubt you do, either."

Thunderwing: "Hmm, yer right about that. Straxus doesn't tell me nuthin when I'm around."

: "Don't forget that Megatron destroyed the only copy of the map that we had! If I was in charge, this never would've happened!"

Megatron: "Shut it. Can't you see that I'm holding in every gear in my body from blasting somebody's head off?!"

: "Hmm, yer right about all that."

: "Oh hey, I almost forgot! Straxus told me you also need something called the Omega Lock. It's this big statue thing that fits all the keys. He also told me that if you put even one of the keys in it, it'll show you where the othas are!"

: "Oh, you mean this thing?"

Thundercracker: "I was wondering what that thing was. We've been using it as a bidet for months!"

Megatron: "Don't you disparage the bidet! But it looks the part, let's see if it works!"

Megatron: "By Primus' beard, it actually works!"

: "I knew it would this whole time! All hail the sexy lord Megatron!"

Megatron: "I know a hollow declaration when I see one, Starscream. But let me have this one."

: "Proposition, Megatron: We wait for the Autobots to gain the other keys, then take them when they least suspect it."

Megatron: "An excellent idea, Soundwave. Laserbeak should be here any minute, then we make our attack!"



Optimus: "Die, you scum!"

Arcee: "We got them now!"

Prowl: "At least we finally get to do something in this story!"

Perceptor: "These scoundrels shouldn't bother us any more."

Perceptor: "Such adorable carnage."

: "Oh hell yeah, we'll be eatin' good tonight!"

: "Those lucky, lucky Pokemon."

Elekid: "You guys didn't need to KILL my friends in battle, but I appreciate your enthusiasm."

Optimus: "So you'll keep up with your end of the bargain, then?"

Elekid: "I'll admit, you did best my Pokemon friends. You can have this."

Elekid: "This is the Key of Might, one of the Keys of MacGuffin. Forgive me for actually valuing my life here. The Cube Guy warned me about roving gangs of robots a few weeks back."

Dennis: "It's no prob. Thank you kindly for this!"


Dennis: "Well, that was actually kinda easy."

Merv: "That thing even gave me dis magic sack! Pretty neat, eh?"

Dennis: "Looks like a regular sack if you ask me."

Merv: "You're just jealous that you don't have a sack you can ride around in. I gotta say, this is a lot like that Kuribo Shoe from Mario 3, except, ya know, I'm the one in the sack."

Merv: I'm gonna regret saying that, right?"

Dennis: "The internet is forever, my friend."

Merv: "The what?"

Dennis: "In any case, it was nothing short of a miracle that we got that key. Wasn't expecting a battle, there."

Merv: "And it was all thanks to this magic computer we found!"

Clapboard: "Can't believe it actually knew how to kill those things."

Dennis: "It's a shame there's no wifi around here. Then we could find our way around and maybe get in touch with Kirby and Seaspray."

Merv: "Didn't you read that last blog post? They're fine!"

Dennis: "The what?"

: "No time for forced exposition Autobots, we need to roll out to find the third key ASAP!"



"...Ok, they're gone."

Laserbeak: "About damn time they left me alone. I shan't be late to my report to Lord Megatron!"


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