Saturday, December 17, 2011

The Christmas Prophesy: The Final Key

The Story So Far... (read these first!)
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8


Prowl: I can't believe we got the third key that easily."

: "All it took was a road race with a bunch of giant HESS cars to win the Key of Speed. Explosions, hazards, spikes. No big deal for me."

: "I agree. It was a spectacular show to say the least."


Optimus: "It's awesome, expensive stuff like that race that makes your contribution to this team totally worth it."

Arcee: "Thanks, sir. It...really means a lot, I guess."

Dennis: "Sorry for the exposition folks, we started a little early this week."

Dennis: "I can't believe we only have one more key to get to see that the prophesy doesn't come true."

Clapboard: "And we have a week to spare."

Merv: "Hey, I got me a sack. It's all good for me from here on in."

Optimus: "Speaking of which, where did you guys put the other keys?"

Merv: "Oh, I put them right next to our awesome computer."

Dennis: "I have to say that it's pretty nice. And an Apple to boot."

Optimus: "It's a wonder that we found it in the first place. It's made this grueling fetch quest a hell of a lot easier."

Perceptor: "Optimus, do you find it weird that this computer keeps following us? None of us have been carrying it anywhere."

Optimus: "This thing lets me listen to the Marc Maron podcast, so whatever is making it walk is allright in my book."

Dennis: "What the hell?!"

Megatron: "Next time I won't miss."

Merv: "A landmaster tank?"

Optimus: "Worse. Decepticons."


Arcee: "Yeah...we're fucked."

Prowl: "Wait, where's Thundercracker?"

Clapboard: "Umm...Thundercracker?"

Perceptor: "Thundercracker is this horrible jet that looked like Starscream, only blue."

Optimus: "And we've got Thunderwing instead. Fuck."

Megatron: "Thundercracker was executed for being an idiot."

Megatron: "But don't worry, Autobots, you'll be joining him soon enough."

Optimus: "So we meet again, you fucking scoundrel. Don't you have anything better to do than to ruin Christmas again?"

Megatron: "You have something I want, Prime. We're here for your Keys of MacGuffin."

Merv: "Um...uhh....keys? What keys? We have no keys here!"

Megatron: "Don't play me like a sap. I know that you have three of the MacGuffin Keys, and we will tear you all limb from limb until you give them up."

Starscream: "You don't want us to do this the hard way, you know. I certainly want to, though. That's the fun part of the job."

Clapoard: "Now see here, I don't know who you guys are, but you have no right to steal what isn't yours. We're collecting those keys so this terrible prophesy doesn't kill us all!"

Megatron: "And all I see is one strange abomination trying to attempt some reason."

Clapboard: "AAHHH!"

Merv: "Speak to me, Clapboard!"

Dennis: "Why the hell did you do something as stupid as that?!"

Clapboard: "You heard the guy: I'm a strange abomination and I tried to take myself out once and for all. Can't you see that's what I was trying to do this entire story?!"

Arcee: "'re okay."

Prowl: "Not many people can take a shot of Megatron's arm cannon to the face and live, pal. Consider yourself special."

Clapboard: "I might as well. I'm made of vinyl and it looks like...I can't die. That might be good for something."

Megatron: "As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted by that horrid being attempting to be heroic, I. Want. Your. Keys."

Optimus: "Well, you can't have them! Besides, we only have three of them! You still need the fourth one?"

: "Oh, no?"

Megatron: "It just so happens that I'm in possession of the final key!"

Optimus: "You attached a key to a bidet? You know this won't stand, Megatron!"

Megatron: "This isn't a bidet, stupid! At least not anymore. Tell me Autobots, just what were you going to do with the four keys once you had them?"

Optimus: "Umm..."

Prowl: "Uhh...."

Arcee: "Umm..."

Perceptor: "Never thought about that..."

Merv: "I dunno."

Clapboard: "Good question."

Dennis: "Search me."

Megatron: "Well, this is the Omega Lock, the catalyst to your doom! I just need a moment to add the other keys to complete my set!"

Megatron: "Soundwave, do your stuff!"

Soundwave: "As you command."

Soundwave: "Laserbeak, transform. Operation: collection."

Dennis: "...Laserbeak?!"


Laserbeak: "Suckers, I was your computer this whole time!"

Laserbeak: "Oh by the way, Marc Maron's podcast is boring. Haha!"

Dennis: ""

Optimus: "Mudflap, what did I tell you all those years ago? If you see Transformers running around, assume all inanimate objects are Transformers, too!"

Dennis: "Yeah, I should've seen this coming."

Laserbeak: "Yes, you should've."

Laserbeak: "Three Keys of MacGuffin, at your service, Lord Megatron."

Megatron: "Excellent! Oh, I'm escatic! Now it's time to insert the keys in the holes..."

Megatron: "Only two to go..."

Dennis: "No! You...fiends! We won't let you!"

Starscream: "And what are you going to do about it?"

Dennis: "Umm..."

Thunderwing: "Just try an stop us, Autobots!"

Perceptor: "Can't you see we're trying?!"

Optimus: "Megatron, you don't know what you're doing!! Stop doing things at once!"

Megatron: "Oh, I know exactly what I'm doing with these."

Megatron: "These keys will seal your doom, Prime! I can feel their power surging through me already!"

Optimus: "No! Stop ruining Christmas!"

Dennis: "Well, it's hopeless now..."

Clapboard: "Stop acting like me for a second, Dennis! Even though I can't die, everything will turn out allright, I just know it will."


Clapboard: "Or...maybe not."








Dennis: "We're screwed for real, aren't we Optimus?"

Optimus: "Yep."

Megatron: "ALL...SHALL...DIE..."


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1 comment:

Yelinna said...

LOL!! This is like the XE Advent Calendar with bigger toys!