Friday, December 9, 2011

The Christmas Prophesy: Let's Nab Santa!

The Story So Far... (read these first!)
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5


Kirby: "Come on, it'll be fun."

Meta-Knight: "For the last time, I'm not getting involved in another one of your shenanigans. Those two stupid holiday specials were participation enough. I've got such a busy schedule on my hands anyway. Being a popular video game character every day takes a lot out of you."

Seaspray: "Well buddy, at least we tried. Looks like we'll have to save Santa ourselves and leave Meta-Knight to untangle his phone cords. We're gonna be heroes for doing this, you know."

Meta-Knight: "...Wait, what?"

Kirby: "Well, we DO have to protect Santa, and you know that anyone who manages to save either him or Christmas are always greeted as giant heroes."

Seaspray: "It would've been awesome with you on our side. Come on, you LOOK more awesome than either of us. The mask, the sword, your cape turns into bat wings. But looks like the kudos will have to be ours and ours alone."

Seaspray: "Come on, let's get going."

Meta-Knight: "Actually, guys..."

Meta-Knight: "I'm coming with you. And you know I'm doing this for the kudos and the ladies! There will be ladies, right?"

Kirby: "Ladies love people who save Christmas."

Meta-Knight: "Then it's settled: Let's save us a Christmas, then! For the ladies! ONLY THE LADIES."


Seapray: "At this rate, we should be at the North Pole in no-time!"

Meta-Knight: "Couldn't we have traveled by map?"

Seaspray and Kirby: "..."

Meta-Knight: "What? The Muppets did it!"

: "We didn't see the movie yet. We were too busy trying to find Santa while trying to find and recruit you!"

: "I heard it was pretty good, though."

: "Well, then you won't mind me telling you guys my review of the movie filled with every spoiler imaginable."


Seaspray: "Autobot down! Autobot down!"

Kirby: "Crap, we hit something! And none of us have insurance."

Meta-Knight: "I think we hit that guy..."

Kirby: "Ohhhhh shit. Oh shit. Shit fucking shitfuck. Santa actually exists! And we killed him! Quick, make it look like a suicide!"

Meta-Knight: "Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Even if he is dead, I'm not picking up his suit. I saw that movie before, and the only thing it'll lead to is two crappy sequels."

Seaspray: "Guys? A little help, please?"

: "Oh, sorry."

Meta-Knight: "Damn, you're heavy."

Kirby: "Hey, maybe that hit knocked something loose in you! See if you can transform!"

Seaspray: "Okay, I'll try it. SEASPRAY, TRANSFORM!"

Seaspray: "Uggh...uh...Crap. Nothing. Sorry guys."

Kirby: "It was worth a shot."

Meta-Knight: "Figures that the Water Guy can't do jack."

Seaspray: "WHAT WAS THAT?! If only I could right myself, I'd..."

Seaspray: "...Hey, what the?"

Seaspray: "I'm...the right side up again! How the hell did that happen?!"

Santa: "Oh, that would be me."

Kirby: " You're alive? How?!"

Meta-Knight: "I remember you from that Christmas special we were in a few years back. You gave me that sweet HESS truck, but I swear you looked a hell of a lot different. And bigger."

Santa: "Duly noted. But your points are indeed valid: you guys DID kill me. I just regenerated is all."

Seaspray: "Regenerated? I thought only --"

Santa: "Yes, I'm able to do that, too. When I was granted immortality centuries ago by the Spirits of Christmas, I learned it came with a price. I can still die, but my physical body changes its shape to heal itself. It still hurts like hell, but it works."

Seaspray: "So how did you flip me over?"

Santa: "Hand energy. Only mighty wielders of magic, and horses with ass polyps, can use it. It came with the immortality. Those spirits also gave me my sleigh, which can travel through time and space in an instant."

Kirby: "Heh, so that's how you deliver all those presents in one night. But wait, Merv showed me stories about how a new Santa appears every year from an Advent Calendar while the previous one retires."

Santa: "That used to be the case, but in the last few years, there haven't been any new Santas! There were LEGO ones, yes, but they don't count! Yoda as Santa? Pfft, I'm the REAL current Santa. Accept no substitutes!"

Santa: "But the real question is: Why are you people here?"

Kirby: "It's a long story."


Santa: "Hmm...this prophesy you talk about sounds like bad news, indeed. You boys were pretty smart to come find me if it's doom for the man in red."

Meta-Knight: "'re okay with us bumbling idiots and one handsome video game character protecting you?"

Santa: "Yeah, guess so. It just so happens that I have a little more time on my hands than usual this year. I usually assign Advent Calendars to a bunch of saps down south to open up, but I revoked their privileges this year two days in. That damn snowman was gonna send LETTERS. It didn't look Christmassy at all!"

Kirby: "I know my friend Merv was devastated when he found out about the cancellation."



Arcee: "Sir, he's been acting this way for over a week now. Can I shoot him yet?"

Optimus: "Sure!"


Seaspray: "...Did you say Snowman, Santa? You mean this Snowman who's been standing next to us offscreen for the past two hours?"

Mr. Snowman: "Oh boy, new Christmas friends!"

Kirby: "I'll be honest, you don't quite look like the Snowman from the stories I saw."

Santa: "I might still be woozy from the regeneration/head-on collision, but I'm pretty sure this is the same idiot."

Mr. Snowman: "Of course I am, silly! I'm...Mister Snowman! CHRISTMAS MAGIC for everyone!"

: "My God, somebody kill this thing before I slash him in half myself."

Santa: "Better looking demons have tried and failed, my friend."

Mr. Snowman: "Here, look you guys, I'll prove it to you that I'm the magical advent snowman!"


Kirby: "Hmm...he made an extreme closeup of his face while saying something stupid. This is him, allright."

Mr. Snowman: "See, I told you guys that I'm the real deal!"

Mr. Snowman: "You know, I heard everything you guys were saying. We should totally go find your friends to smother them with CHRISTMAS MAGIC!"

Kirby: "You know, that sounds like a good idea, Mister Snowman!"


Follow Me on Twitter!
"Like" Beaming For Bunnies on Facebook!

"Like" my Simpsons Quote of The Day Facebook Page!

No comments: