Saturday, April 30, 2016

It's Gonna Be May.

I hate making that joke, but it's true. It's the end of the month already, and what do I want to talk about?

Not much this time. I don't NEED to post once a month, but I want to keep this blog somewhat alive, and my OCD really wants to see an entry on every month.

But lately, I've been watching a new game show channel called Buzzr. It's fairly new and you might not have it, but if you do I highly recommend changing your tv to it right now. Like the Game Show Network of old, it shows nothing but old game shows. And while you have staples like Match Game and Card Sharks, there's OLD ones here, too. Like What's My Line and To Tell The Truth in all their black and white glory. Hell, all the shows from the 50s have all their in-studio commercials intact! Remember when Suave shampoo was in glass bottles and advertised to people that looked like Marilyn Monroe? Well, all the people that did are dead by now, so it's all fascinating to watch.

But the shown that's been sucking me in lately is Let's Make A Deal. For those not in the know, Monty Hall goes through the audience playing games with people. You could win a box full of money, or you could trade it for whatever was behind the curtain. And behind the curtain could be ANYTHING. Expensive appliances, a trip to some exotic country, color televisions, or even new cars. But nine times out of ten, the curtain would have a "zonk," some real dumb prize like a sled pulled by a donkey and you'd be stuck with that. Or if you were smart enough to stick with the box full of money, that box could have anything from a thousand dollars to ten cents. That was the fun of it, and screaming "KEEP THE GODDAMN MONEY" at a forty year old tv show was the more reasonable choice to make most of the time. Monty Hall was the perfect host for this sort of thing, he was a master troll that could charm you into going for the curtain, then make you regret it hard for falling for his tricks.

And the best part of all of this are the people in the audience. In the early days of the show people just dressed in their fancy suits, like you would back then. But then one day someone decided to dress up in a ridiculous costume to get Monty's attention so EVERYONE started doing that and the rest is history. And people got really creative with it. People held up signs, gave Monty gifts, dressed up like carrots, farmers, giant flowers, someone on fire, a slot machine, or my personal favorite, Creepy Mickey Mouse.

Turning down a wall full of appliances "for the woman of the house" was the smartest decision she made that day. Also, what the hell Seventies, what are you making Monty Hall wear?! That was a decade where style truly stopped giving a shit and I absolutely love that aesthetic in a cheesy sort of way. Take Gene Rayburn, the host of Match Game.

Lot of yellow, beige and brown in that decade, and from the look of things Let's Make A Deal was the exception and not the norm when it came to game shows. And people say the style of this decade is full of piss and shit, they smeared it right on the walls, on their cars, and even their clothes. Seriously, I saw a Firebird on Let's Make A Deal last night whose color I can only describe as the color of a cup of water after a middle school art class was done with their painting lesson.

And thanks to the magic of high definition, those awful color schemes pop better than ever these days. If you have Buzzr or a channel like it on your tv I highly recommend watching it right this second.

Thursday, March 31, 2016

So I'm 29

Last week was my 29th birthday. It's not an important birthday, but it still feels weird that I've been on this Earth for 29 years. The fact that next year I'll be thirty kind of terrifies me, since it means that I'll no longer officially be young. Well, I knew for a while that I was no longer young, most recently last week when some punk kid at a gas station called me "sir," with no sarcasm implied with that. On one hand, hey, respect. On the other, I came off to a kid as someone he shouldn't be bothering. I had a full-on beard at the time, so that may have factored into it, but I'm not so sure.

I've realized that I'm at an old enough age where I've met people in college right now who were born after Ren & Stimpy went off the air. The Simpsons started going downhill when they were in diapers. They weren't around when Beanie Babies, Furbies and the Backstreet Boys waged their war over their stranglehold of the country. These were kids that never knew a world with only 150 Pokemon. The internet, cordless phones and a unified Germany had always existed.  Where "Cory in The House" is spoken with the same wistfulness that I have with the original cast of All That.

If you don't understand a word of that last paragraph, you're either right in that age group...or you're most likely older than I am and want me to stop acting 12. Okay, so I never knew a world with only three tv channels, Masters of The Universe being as popular as Pokemon was back in the day and George Bush was just this old guy on TV.

I'm getting off track here. To make you all feel old, yesterday was the fifteenth anniversary of the first airing of not only Invader Zim, but also Fairly Oddparents, two beloved Nickelodeon that took separate paths through history. As of today, Fairly Oddparents is STILL on the air. It's a show that wants to die, but it won't It aired finale movies, live action movies, added a baby, a talking magic dog, an evil twin for both of those characters, and now a new neighbor girl named Chloe.

Yeah, fuck Chloe. This show FINALLY went the Poochie route and added a character that was meant to lure in new viewers, but it feels like she's only there to take over the show with herself as the star. She's only around to be another kid with fairies, which is a good idea on paper, but the execution is a bit lacking. Timmy has to share his fairies with her. Again, it makes sense on paper. Apparently, there's a fairy shortage for kids, and Timmy, a kid who has three of them, must share them with someone else.

But the show has bent itself to her whims. Those characters I mentioned earlier? They stopped showing up. Timmy's other, real friends? They haven't been seen either. The show started as a kid who coped with having the most vicious babysitter in the world with magical fairies that could grant every wish he wanted...and now Timmy has to deal with an annoying girl that makes the same mistakes he did 15 years ago. Hell, the theme song changes for her! They didn't change a word for the baby or the dog, but Chloe is different. It's only been a few episodes, but she's definitely a character that would make everyone ask "Where's Chloe?" when she's not onscreen.

This show could, and really should, end after this season, but I don't see it happening anytime soon. Regardless of quality these days, it still gets pretty high, consistent ratings among the kids. But that's what happens when it's on a channel that airs nothing but it, Spongebob, and Dan Schneider's latest yelling garbage pile. This used to be a really great show, but it lost its luster several years back, let alone now.

Invader Zim, on the other hand, suffered from the other problem. You see, Nickelodeon gave it the axe while the first season aired, not caring how it would affect production. Half of the second season exist only as audio, while the other half that was completed didn't see an airdate on American TV for years afterward. they showed up in a complete series DVD first, then airing on the Nicktoons channel during the last decade.

One episode that DID make it to air during the original run was "The Most Horrible Xmas Ever," which featured a character named Minimoose.

He is a little Moose whose only function is to float around like a dummy. Also, he has deadly rockets for fingers. This was all laid out in his introduction episode "Nubs of Doom," but that was one of those episodes that never got completed, so he was in that episode with barely any explanation. It's also the ONLY Minimoose episode that was completed to boot (he was to become a second sidekick), so now he's this strange one-shot character that barely contributed anything.

There's a few theories I have to why the show was cancelled: Too dark, bad taste (the episode "Door To Door" featured a post-apocalyptic New York City, which was produced around the same time as the 9/11 attacks and was shelved for weeks), who knows. Granted, Nickelodeon probably shouldn't have given the reigns to a kid's show to a guy responsible for a comic called "Johnny The Homocidal Maniac," but Nick was cool to experiment like that. They've always looked for outside, indie creators to make their shows. Ren & Stimpy, Doug, Rugrats, Rocko's Modern Life, Hey Arnold, CatDog, and even Pig Goat Banana Cricket were among those born from Nickelodeon willing to give their creators a chance.

This was a show that really spoke to me. Maybe it was the tone of the show, a tiny violence-loving alien bent on world domination has to learn how to navigate the crap-saddled world that is Earth and failing at it every week made for great television. I was hooked from Day 1 and it's responsible for me finding my first internet community. I found like-minded people that liked most of the same things I did. It was my first taste with an obsessive fanbase that only grew more rabid when Nickelodeon gave it the shaft.

When the show was pulled, do you wanna know what Nick aired in its place? Baxter & Bananas.

This was just one cartoon. One lame, weird cartoon that the channel aired in Invader Zim's slot for WEEKS. It only made things worse when we found out that there were a lot of episodes that were scrapped, and the ones that ended up never airing. But we all came together for this one show. We gave each other a sense of belonging, a sense of community. We even wrote and shared terrible Zim fanfiction; thankfully for you folks, you'll never see mine. We were ready to boycott, send letters, even kidnap Jhonen Vasquez himself if the show didn't come back, but none of that ever came to pass.

While my rabid fandom of this show waned in the years that passed, I still consider myself a fan. If it weren't for this show and Nightmare Before Christmas, I don't think Hot Topic would've stayed in business. There's LOTS of people I see with Zim merchandise now, which only made me wonder where they were 15 years ago (hint: probably too young or not even born yet).

One day I do plan to go to a convention that Jhonen was at just thank him for creating something I loved. Something that I was able to share. Something that didn't struck a chord to young me since the Simpsons. I'd just go up and thank him for creating this wonderful show. That's all.

Even if this never gets to him, I'll say it now: Thank you, Jhonen, for creating Invader Zim. Happy 15 years.

Monday, February 29, 2016

We Are Eight

Hard to believe that this blog is now eight years old.

Look at him, he's grown so much. So what have I been up to since my last entry? 

Well for one thing, I finally got some of my pesky wisdom teeth taken out last week.

I'll spare you from what the actual teeth looked like, but they weren't pretty. I only got the two teeth in the right side of my mouth taken out but I have to say I feel much better now they're out. This was something vibe been putting off for years, Lower Righty's been giving me pain for ages ever since it fractured some time ago. Yeah, it's been hurting so bad there were times where I was planning on taking it out a la Tom Hanks in Cast Away. You know, that bit with the ice skate? That was me for a while. But anyway it's gone now and the spot where the tooth was is only slightly sore. That's a win, I guess.

I also visited the "new" Nintendo NY store in Manhattan. Well, it's pretty much the same Nintendo World store that's been there, but with a better layout. They've added big tvs to demo the WiiUs, so people can watch you suck at Mario Kart 8 on a screen that can be seen from the Today Show studio. It's a big change since this store opened up when Gamecubes were the console they were showing off, so this was quite an upgrade.

This was cool / I want it. I've seen Master Swords before, but that's a Master Swird you can actually cut someone with and sadly I have to add it to my "crazy crap I'd buy if I won the lottery" list.

The Nintendo Museum they have on the top floor got some new display cases, this one themed around Super Mario Maker. These are the actual layouts from the original Super Mario Bros. From all my time playing Mario Maker, making these simple, yet iconic level designs is a lot harder than it looks.

A better look at a few levels designs, these are from Super Mario 3. Slopes are tough to implement, I guess.

I want to steal this and hang it on my wall, and I know damn well I wasn't the only one there that was contemplating sneaking back in after hours.

And of course Pokemon has its own corner of the store, this being one of their many plush displays. All of the Pokemon you see here were modeled after Beanie Babies, with normal and sleeping variants. What excites me was that almost all the Eeveelutions had representations here, save for Umbreon and Eevee itself. Vaporeon is my favorite, so of course I was excited to see that they were the most popular. Yeah, the Slowpokes and Charmanders were almost gone but screw it, Vaporeon's getting love and of course I picked up both versions.

I don't know how much this giant Substitute cost, but I wasn't willing to lug it around the city for a few hours, plus the train ride home. I know I've seen weirder things around the city, but I didn't feel like carrying anything that day.

And of all things, Kirby had a pretty impressive display, getting the same amount of floor space reserved for the likes of popular, yet nerdy games like Splatoon and Animal Crossing. Kirby, being a round pink ball, lends himself quite well to plush dolls, so seeing plush of ANY character aside from him and popular characters like King Dedede and Meta Knight is a rare sight. Sure there was a Waddle Dee but Chef Kawasaki here is just so esoteric of a character (appeared as a miniboss in ONE game and its remake, in addition to a minor role in the Kirby anime) that I decided to buy it on the spot, even before I got to the Vaporeons.

Here's some old Game & Watches. They're a mainstay at the displays in this store, but I've never seen a few of these before. They look like weird, mutant calculators but they play simple monochrome games. But apparently these two are Super Game & Watches and they play their games in color. Since these are from the early 80s, I'm gonna guess that color was green.

Back during Valentine's Day, I spent the day as I always spend that day: feeling bad about myself. But even that gets old after a few hours so I went down to the local Dairy Queen and got their Singles Blizzard. If I remember right, it was peanut butter ice cream that had caramel and fudge and loneliness. It turned out to taste much better than I hoped, and since it was Valentine's Day, getting my hopes up by ice cream would definitely be the highlight of not only that day, but the entire month. 

And speaking of food being a highlight of the day, I managed to snag the lone strawberry glazed doughnut at a work meeting. There's always one in every assortment and it's usually snatched up before I ever get to the box. Since I've got a good 15 years on most of the other people I work with, I was the only one who cared about it. Either way, it made that meeting glide by, nevermind that the sugar from the doughnuts I ate exceeded the amount of doughnuts I usually eat, which is zero, was probably what caused it.

And now I'm going to counter the good food with...this. This is Burger King's Buttery XL Cheeseburger. Remember the Good Morning Burger from the Simpsons?

Well, even though they promised rich, creamery butter, the reality was that it was just a weird, wide burger BK made to fit on a chicken sandwich bun. It says it was buttery, but it was more like it was coated with globs of what I hoped was mayo, so I can't really say that there was any false advertising going on here. All in all, it was pretty good, butter or not.

I know that I said that I reached Peak Stuff and that still reigns true, but I couldn't resist getting John Oliver's Funko Pop. If you haven't seen Last Week Tonight, I strongly urge you to do so. With all the shows the Daily Show  has been responsible for siring the past few years, this is the one I feel is the closest to recapturing the Jon Stewart-era greatness. Samantha Bee's Full Frontal and Colbert's Late Show are steadily getting better, too, but Last Week Tonight has been firing from all cylinders from Day 1, the latest Best Thing is their coverage on Donald Drumpf.

Oh yeah, I ended up buying about four more over the past month, most of them variants of BMO from Adventure Time. There's like 7 versions of him and the only one I'm missing is the Glow In The Dark one from a few Comic Cons ago.  It's the only one that's worth over $100 and I'm hesitant to pull the trigger on it right now. I'm hoping for some eBay miracle or something.

Until then, I'm done with these Pop things for now. Until I browse eBay at 2am again so...expect to see me update on another new pile of stuff next month.

Sunday, January 31, 2016

Thursday, December 31, 2015

The End...of 2015

It's almost 2016, time to list what I got for Christmas this year!

$50 in eshop points! That's a lot of plays in Badge Arcade. For those not in the know, Badge Arcade is a crane game where you grab for special badges you can decorate your 3DS home screen with. It's useless, every play costs money, but it's so addicting. 

I also got gift cards for Panera and Subway. Hey, free lunches, I can't complain about that.

Funko Pops! Like I said before, I got addicted to these things back during NYCC, and these two are by far my favorite characters. Anger is from Inside Out, one of the best movies Disney and/or Pixar put out in years and he's by far the best character. Of course he's voiced by Lewis Black, one of the greatest casting choices ever. He's tiny, red, and will not hesitate to use that one swear word he knows. There's a version of Anger with a flaming head, but since he was an exclusive from SDCC, he goes for around $60 and I'm not shelling out that much for him. For now.

Captain Cold is from CW's Flash show, and he's such a great villain. I love his design, and he translates well to the weird Pop vinyl sculpts.

Speaking of Anger, I also got his Tsum Tsum. Tsum Tsums are Japan's weird, stackable answer to beanie babies and of course Disney is all over that. And like beanie babies in their prime (and Funko Pops now), the fanbase for these things is insane, with rarer exclusive ones going for upwards of $70. Since the Inside Out line has been out for months and are harder to find, Anger's not cheap...unless you find it in Target on sale like I did.

Games and stuff! This stack is a little smaller than it has been in previous years because most of the other shows I got DVDs for either ended (Community) or stopped making DVDs (Simpsons). This is also the last year for Parks and Rec and unless I finally get off my ass and watch the rest of my gigantic In pile of DVDs, there might not be any DVDs at all next year. Batman: TAS was from my friend Steve. 

As for the games, I'll admit I got Chibi Robo and Amiibo Festival for their amiibo. Chibi Robo I heard good things about, while Amiibo Festival is "play through Animal Crossing like Mario Party, but not as fun!" 

Yo-Kai Watch was a game I was very interested in, as it's kind of like Nintendo's new Pokemon franchise, but with enough differences to make a unique experience. After playing it for the past few days, I have to say that I'm really enjoying it. There's lots of exploration, and a new Yo-Kai under literally every nook and cranny. The battle system takes some getting used to if you're accustomed to Pokemon's like me, but it's definitely neat. 

Like Pokemon, the world is filled with weird creatures that you can befriend, and you use them to battle other Yokai committing mischief around the city. Like Pokemon, the various Yokai are based on various animals or spirits from Japanese folklore. And then there's Yokai with very specific tasks that they inspirit people with.

For instance, this is Cheeksqueek. He makes you fart. Yes, his head is shaped like a butt. And yes, his hair is supposed to be poop. He's not even close to the weirdest one in this game.

It's weird, it's fascinating, and I haven't been able to put the game down very often. If you like anything in the mon genre, you'll enjoy Yo-Kai Watch.

Secret Santa! This year I participated in Reddit's Secret Santa exchange and boy did I hit the jackpot. I had told my secret Santa that I collected Funko Pops and that I loved Adventure Time, Bob's Burgers, Doctor Who, among others. The Japanese gummy candy was a nice bonus, since I mentioned I liked to travel but I never expected Japanese candy, especially strawberry gummies! Sadly, the candy expired back in August and the one piece I tried didn't taste right. I thought gummy candy never expired, but it turned out I was wrong. So I learned something this Christmas.

I hope your Christmas was great, and I hope you have a happy New Year! See you folks in January.

Monday, November 30, 2015

Thankful 2015

It's November and that means Thanksgiving and that means talking about what we're thankful for.

For me, there's all the usual stuff: friends, family, a roof over my head, just being alive. But this year I'm thankful for having a job that pays me enough to have a disposable income.

You see folks, between the last time I wrote here and now I've become slightly addicted to those Funko Pop vinyl figures.

Alright, "slightly" seems like an understatement. For years I passed by these things, thinking they were dumb and ugly. "Who the hell would buy these?" I thought.

Lots. The answer is lots. I was at NYCC this year and found these things everywhere. Again, I thought nothing of these things. I only had about five of them, four of them being mini versions of Stan Lee.

And then as I walked around, I found that some of them were going for obscene prices.

Seriously, this variant of Vegeta goes for $400. I still think that people would be stupid to blow that much money on a little figure that doesn't even do anything, especially ones with those weird beady eyes. Hell, Funko had a booth there and the line for it was always a mile long. Those lines were only open twice a day, I decided to forgo that nonsense.

But then I saw "common" Pops (ie, ones that weren't exclusive to anywhere) go for $20, $30, or more. Sure, some of the booths selling those were asshole scalpers, but that's when the seed was planted into my brain: "I can find these at Hot Topic for ten bucks! I should get these before people start asking thirty dollars for them."

And that's where it began. I'm strictly a "only get the ones I want" collector. I don't want to be a completionist, I already did that with Amiibo. Seriously, it'd be easier to list the ones I DON'T have. Here goes:

-Famicom R.O.B.
-Mega Yarn Yoshi
-the SMB line that isn't Toad, Gold Mario, and Silver Mario.

Plus all the ones that haven't been released yet. Where was I? Oh yes.

I don't want to be a "get em because they'll be worth some day" type of collector, either. I did that with beanie babies and to this day I have storage bins filled with them collecting dust in my

See? I don't want that to happen with Pops, too. Between Amiibo, those beanie babies, plus a lifetime of collecting Transformers toys, I'm running out of space to put things. I've had trouble remembering this for the last couple of years. I always get more stuff, without any thought of where it's going to go. Lately I've been buying less toys and focusing more on artwork and celebrity autographs. They're thinner and they go on walls. Easy for storage.

And I've been giving a few of my pops away due to this. See this awesome Godzilla?

He was a NYCC exclusive I bought for the very purpose of being able to trade it with some random stranger on the internet. And boy, did that stranger deliver.

Snow Miser from The Year Without A Santa Claus was the result of that trade. His brother Heat Miser was bought off of eBay. Plus that Krusty was purchased from another stranger that wanted to unload THEIR stock. Did I mention that they're all worth around $50 but I was able to get good bargains for them? You guys know what regret is, right? Because I thought nothing of these things, some of the pops I brushed off such as these (plus Muppet ones) now go for high prices for whatever reason. I've devoted the last month and a half to getting them, one pop at a time either through outright buying them or giving one of mine away.

It's been hard to not get bitten by the snake that is a collector's addiction. When there's one day I congratulate myself on not giving in to temptation to buy something for the sake of buying it, there's another where I stumble upon a Buy 1 Get 1 50% off deal and just go to town.

It was tough to walk away from this amazing selection, but I was happy with myself. It was the day before Thanksgiving, and I was short on money. I just needed to tell myself "I just want a few of these. Just GIR. And Marceline. And Darth Vader. And the entire Bob's Burgers family."

That's my other problem. When I started the "I only want the ones I want" mindset, there were only a few Pops I truly want. And then they made Bob's Burgers pops. And more Adventure Time characters. And Clark Griswold. And now with Steven Universe Pops and the Hitchhiking Ghosts from the Haunted Mansion confirmed, I can only say this:

Sigh...can I just mail my money to Funko directly? Don't answer that, I definitely know that's possible. I said that I started with five of these, do you want to know how many I have now? Thirty, and that number grows by the day. And that's been over the last month and a half.

So that's what I'm thankful for, enough money to pay my bills and get a little something for myself each week. Some folks spend their money on cars. Or drugs. Or beer. I spend it on four inch figurines that look like Batman. We're not too different.

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Let's Get Spoopy!

Hey it's Halloween, it's time to get Spoopy!

What does it mean to be Spoopy, you ask? Well, that's a good question, reader.

It's different from normal Halloween revelry, that's for sure. For one, you have to tell as many dumb Halloween puns as you can.

And dress up in the most obscure costume you can think of. Can't be Spoopy without everyone at the Halloween party trying desperately to guess what you're dressed as.

Taken at NYCC. If you do recognize this one, you're awesome.

Then gather as much "loser candy" as you can. You know, Mary Janes, Bit O Honey, candy corn and those black and orange things.

That's it. Now put them all in a pile, and then throw them all out so you can get some good candy.

And of course listen to great Halloween music.

So of course you gotta do the Spoopy Dance.

That's it! Now you're getting Spoopy! There's just one more thing you have to do.

Grab all the Barbasol you can.

Yeah, they still make it. You know what you do with that, right? Of course you do.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Even More Flea Market Finds!

Summer's been winding down, so a few Sundays ago I made yet another trek down to the local Flea Market before it got too cold to look at other people's crap.

Usually I try to make it to these things earlier in the day, but this particular time I showed up around 1pm, the time when most of the vendors start packing it in for the day. I came to think that all of the good stuff would've been gone by then.

But I was wrong. Boy, was I wrong. The Flea Market Gods (whom I've always imagined to be a group of middle aged women in ugly sweaters. Think the mom from The Goldbergs) decided to smile down upon me this week and I actually struck a little pay dirt. Let's look at all the cool stuff I saw.

My first find of the day was a stack of old novelty records from the 60s. The 1960s just seemed like the best decade for music, both the good, the bad, and, well, this. Hell if I know how a story about Snoopy fighting the Red Baron became associated with Christmas, but The Royal Guardsman somehow found a way to tie it all in together through song. And just look at that great artwork, the Red Baron looks downright embarrassed that he's getting his ass handed to him by a dog pretending to fly its own doghouse.

If I actually had something to play it on, you know damn well I would've bought it.

This too. Man do I love 60s Alvin & The Chipmunks the best. And this album isn't the famous one with the Christmas songs, this is a soundtrack to The Alvin Show, the original cartoon.

And you know what? This find actually parallels the Simpsons, when Bart found a Melvin & The Squirrels record at a swap meet.

Thank you, internet, for proving once again that there is a Simpsons reference for everything.

Most of the albums in that pile were old Disney records, mostly movie soundtracks. Like the others, there was lots of rad artwork, but this Winnie The Pooh record was the standout. Tigger looks so...wrong. Maybe that's why he's looking at himself in the mirror? Wondering who was responsible for his incredibly off-model look? I mean, I'm only assuming that's Tigger. That's how unlike Tigger he looks.

An old-style McDonalds model made for train sets (this was at a table that sold model train stuff). As a lover of obscure McDonald's merch, I had to get it...until I turned it over and saw it covered in gunk and sadness. Maybe next time.

On that topic, I found some sweet McDonald's glasses straight from the 80s! These glasses take me back to my childhood with my Grandma, she only drank her water out of these. I would've bought these, but as I've said before, I don't really drink out of glasses enough to justify buying them. Also, I still don't trust myself around fragile drinking glasses older than I am.

Two of them are from a Great Muppet Caper promotion, two more have Grimace and the Apple Pie Tree, and then there's the one that caught my eye: 

A glass commemorating the McDLT! And apparently there was a vote in 1986 for Burger of The Year? Seriously, if anyone can fill me in on this promotion, that'd be great, since Google is turning up nothing but endless copies of the famous commercial.

I miss when fast food commercials actually TRIED.

Seriously, I found more results for that Melvin and the Squirrels picture than on information on this promotion. And you guys have to check out the other side of that glass:

Well, it might be 30 years too late but it has my vote. Mine and, of course, Jason Alexander's.

Old times slot machines! Too rusty for my tastes, but can you agree that they're awesome?

And here's another! I apologize if these pictures didn't come out too well, but you get the gist of it, right?

And I found to this old diner jukebox.

Want a bowl of pilot wings from Eastern Airlines? Even if the entire bowl was a dollar I'd feel it was too much.

Or an accordion?

Anyone who's anyone would buy the novelization of The Addams Family Values.

How about a tub? Someone was selling tubs. And literally a kitchen sink but I didn't get a picture of it.

There were a lot of buttons for sale, but this Jerry Lewis Telethon button wins my award for Most Esoteric, and I'm counting all the buttons rooting for Hubert H. Humphrey's presidency.

Hey, a sword! A real live sword! I was assured it was the real thing, and it was heavy as hell to prove it. This would've set me back $100, but I didn't have that much money to spend, even if that was a great deal for a sword like that.

My favorite find of the day has to be this unopened box of Star Wars Dixie cups priced at $95. Yes, this topped the sword.

And you might be asking "did you actually buy something this time?" And my answer is yes. Yes I did.

Yes, Happy Meal toys! But not any toys, an actual Mac Tonight toy I didn't have! He's riding in a jeep and he looks like he's not giving a fuck while doing so.

Next to him is a tiny Scrooge McDuck in his own car. Scrooge is one of my favorite Disney character, so he was an automatic buy from me, but I found him sitting on his own. This was a win on its own because hey, who wouldn't want a tiny Scrooge McDuck to sit on things? If you answered "not me," then why are you reading this?

As I was about to walk home with my Scrooge, I spotted a tiny car on the other side of the table that seemed perfect for a duck in a weird sitting position. And of course he fit! I felt like I made out like a bandit, and the guy I bought it from seemed to agree, since he had no idea that Scrooge had his own tiny car. 

His loss I suppose. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to pit these two racers in the greatest toy drag race this blog's ever seen.