12/12/12!: Dennis & The T-Shirt of Doom

Merv: "...What do ya think it is?"

Dennis: "Well, it's a bag. From some kinda website."

Perceptor: "Well, according to the label, it's a from some place called Teefury."

Dennis: "Clapboard, you came in a mysterious box, you know what this is all about?"

Merv: "Yeah, isn't this thing, like, your cousin or something?"

Clapboard: "Oh, I've definitely seen these things before. It's a random cool shirt that comes in the mail. But which shirt would it be, and why is it here?"

???: "And that's what I'm here to find out!"

Dennis: "Oh, crap."

Perceptor: "Decepticon."

???: "With a face this gorgeous and blurry, how could I NOT be a Decepticon? The name is Straxus."

Straxus: "So you're a member of Optimus Prime's team, yes? The very same group that took out Megatron a year ago."

Perceptor: "Indeed we did! We haven't seen any trouble since then, either. Why start with us?"

Straxus: "I came here to thank you! With him out of the way, I could claim my rightful place as the Decepticons one true leader!"

Merv: "Oh come the fuck on! What is with you robots and your power vacuums?"

Dennis: "And isn't 'usurper' Starscream's gig?"

Straxus: "Do you really think that little piss ant Starscream was the only bot gunning for Megatron's job? We're not the only ones who thought the guy lost his touch at evil."

Straxus: "And now that he's finally out of the picture, it's time to finish what he started: By destroying you Autobots and ruling this wretched planet in the name of the Decepticons!"

Straxus: "Which I'll start by taking this neat package from you. I hope it's in my size!"

Merv: "Come on man, you gotta be kiddin' me! You're like the only 20 foot tall robot around! And

Clapboard: "Besides, you only came with us because you were the last one to say 'not it.' back at the base."

Perceptor: "For allspark's sake, I'm only an intelligence bot, I'm only around to sound smarter than the others! They never gave me any good weapons!"

Perceptor: "But I suppose you are all correct. It is my duty to protect all innocent beings at all cost. Optimus would be furious if I didn't."

Dennis: "That's the spirit! Get our shirt back!"

Perceptor: "Well...you heard the Earthlings, drop the bag and go back to whence you came!"

Straxus: "And what are you going to do if I don't comply, Microscope? Look at me really close?"

Straxus: "Look at me! I transform into a tank! I'm covered in armor! I have guns mounted on my shoulders, my weapon of choice is a pickaxe!"

Straxus: "So if you're thinking if anything you do will hurt my in any way, I'd like to see it and laugh my servos off at such a futile attempt."

Straxus: "What I'm saying is, how you earthlings say it...come at me."

Perceptor: "Well, umm, when you put it that way..."

Straxus: "Hmm...very well. Let me tell you something that sets Megatron and I apart."

Straxus: "You see, Megatron always sent one of his underlings to do his dirty work, and when he's finally forced onto the field, he dies at the hand of a giant pokemon."

Straxus: "But as for me..."

*THWACK!*

Straxus: "...I'm more of a hands-on kind of bot."

Dennis: "Perceptor!!!"

Merv: "God, you suck."

Straxus: "Whatever, peons."

Straxus: "Now I shall take my prize. It's a nice little gift before I go find Magnus."

Clapboard: "Speak to me! Don't quit on us!"

Merv: "I'm Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

Dennis: "Ah, man...I can't believe I was dumb enough to egg you on to fight that guy. I feel so stupid!"

Perceptor: "Do not worry, Dennis. Your heart was in the right place. I had a duty to fulfill, and none of you were hurt. I call that a victory in my book."

Dennis: "Yeah, but in MY book...it looks like you have a giant axe hole in your chest."

Perceptor: " My pain sensors ARE operating at an alarming rate, I don't know how much longer I can hold on. I guess our time comes when we least expect it."

Clapboard: "I hate death, I really do. Even though I'll never experience it, I can't stand it!"

Perceptor: "Do not feel bad about yourselves...all of you...Ugh...I guess I was wrong about this not being worth dying over."

Perceptor: "I guess my only regret...is my character not being fleshed out enough..."

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...."

+

Merv: "Is he...?"

Dennis: "Regenerating!"

Perceptor: "Oh...I'm...alive?"

Perceptor: "And...I have articulation?! Amazing, I managed to reformat!"

Dennis: "I thought it was regeneration?"

Perceptor: "Of course not, the term for us Cybertronians is 'reformatting.' We keep our memories and such, but our entire bodies change when the old one becomes worn out."

Merv: "(cough)Retcon!(cough)"

Clapboard: "But I guess we're all happy you're okay!"

Perceptor: "Of course. And...where's Straxus?"

Dennis: "He left with the package not long after you stabbed you in the chest."

Perceptor: "Well that's a fine how do you do. And did I hear him mention something about...Magnus?"

Dennis: "Yeah...why?"

Perceptor: "If this Magnus is what I'm thinking, we have to go back to Optimus and the others! Your world is in great danger."

Merv: "Well, again."

Dennis: "Sigh. Looks like it's another exciting adventure for us. I should've known something was up when I looked at the calendar today."

TO BE CONTINUED!

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