Monday, October 31, 2011

A Halloween Treat

It's Halloween, and I figured that I shouldn't disappoint you all by showing something spooky!

Today we have a triple feature for you all. First up, a short. From 1952, it's the classic Donald Duck cartoon "Trick or Treat."


Next we have a classic commercial from Halloween III: Season of the Witch. Be sure to wear your Silver Shamrock mask while watching!


And finally, we come to the main attraction. Feast your eyes on the scariest film I've ever seen: MANOS, THE HANDS OF FATE.



What's that? You'll be just fine with Joel, Servo, and Crow on your side? Well, you're in luck! Through the magic of Youtube, I discovered the full movie...UN-RIFFED.

HA HA HA HA!!
Enjoy.

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Saturday, October 29, 2011

Minor Monster Tribute 2!

You might recall last year when I posted an entry giving tribute to some minor monsters of pop culture. And how that entry was inspired by Matt's entry over at X-Entertainment? Yes, they were quite good.

A few weeks ago, Matt posted another entry, so I figured that I should do the same. Halloween is just a few days away, and I feel like I should give you readers something that doesn't have to do with Doctor Who for once.

To keep myself from becoming redundant about what I said last time...here's what I said last time:

"Minor monsters" in a sense are just ugly bad guys who get aren't usually the first things you think of when you think "Halloween Monsters." Everyone knows the Major Monsters, like Vampires, Werewolves, Mummies, Zombies, Ghosts, Frankenstein Monsters, Jason, Freddy, Chucky, and the occasional Leprechaun in space.

But what about...everyone else? The spooks and monsters that you love or scared the everloving crap outta you, but just don't get the invites to the mad monster party. They might be the stars of some forgotten movie, an awesome creature that got outshone by the main players, or just some creepy thing. These are the monsters that I want to focus on today. Since Matt's entry focused on six monsters, I'll do the same with this list.

NOTE: This list is in no order, nor does this list specify my favorite monsters ever. These are just six creepy beings that deserve their pedestal on the grand Monster Mash of life.

Since Matt's new entry gave tribute to seven monsters, my entry shall do the same for six. Because I couldn't think of a seventh monster.

1. Guiron (Gamera vs Guiron)


Since the original list started with a Toho monster, this list should start with one too, I guess. But instead of a Godzilla monster, this guy comes to us from the Gamera series.

Gamera doesn't get as good of a rep as the other monsters because, well, he's not Godzilla, nor is he actually a part of the Godzilla universe. No, everyone's favorite flying turtle is its own thing. He goes around fighting monsters while wrecking everything in his path and being a friend to all children. I use the term "friend" loosely since he gained that reputation after saving ONE little boy from falling while trying to decimate all of Japan. Now he's obligated to save all the world's children from intergalactic terrors. And when I say "all the world's children," I mean the ones from Japan.

Besides that, Gamera's most known for being featured five separate times on Mystery Science Theater 3000, one of the best shows mankind has ever produced. And our first monster comes from the fifth movie in the series (and the fourth one riffed by Joel & The Bots) Gamera vs Guiron.


The plot is nothing special, Gamera fights this thing on an alien planet and wins. That's not important. What IS important is looks. Just look at this guy...he's got a giant knife for a head. That just screams "awesome." Try it, it's wonderful. I just screamed "awesome" to my cat, who really doesn't seem to appreciate good monsters when she hears them. Ah, whatever.

Guiron's the first one up for a tribute here because how can you go wrong with a monster with a giant knife for a head?! You can't! It gave Gamera a scare when it was able to cut through his mighty shell and try to feast on the sweet, sweet turtle meat with a blue blood glaze. And you see that circle in the side of his head?


Yeah, it can shoot shurikens! Suck on that, Gamera!
 
2. Wall of Flesh (Adventure Time)



Ah, Adventure Time. This thing, the Wall of Flesh, was featured in one of the show's earliest episodes, "Tree Trunks." The episode itself has our heroes, Finn & Jake along with a senile elephant named Tree Trunks, wander into the Evil Forest to track down the legendary Crystal Gem Apple. The whole story plays out like two energetic boys trying to play a game of Dungeons & Dragons with their grandma (and it's a great one), so of course the gang would run into some strange monsters like this guy.

This thing only appeared in one scene, but it left one heck of an effect on me. It is what it is: A giant pile of fleshy goo, and it raises plenty of questions.

Why does it exist? How was it formed? Was this human? These questions are never answered. What IS known, though, is that it wasn't even the most dangerous monster in the forest. We also saw killer road signs, skeleton butterflies, a Brain Beast, and a Crystal Guardian that mimics your every move. But the Wall of Flesh IS my favorite monster in the episode, and believe it or not the gang has faced weirder monsters than this.

But I might get into those later. For now, it's Wall of Flesh's squishy day in the sun.

3. Samhain (The Real Ghostbusters)


When you think "Ghostbusters," your mind tend to wander elsewhere than Samhain. Slimer, Stay Puft, Ecto Cooler. But the Real Ghostbusters cartoon had one major baddie: Samhain, the King of Ghosts. The kind of ghost that other ghosts simply obeyed out of fear. It might also be respect since he actually cares for the well-being of his "little ones," so people like the Ghostbusters are pretty high on his kill list.

There's really no surprise that the Lord of Halloween is a major ghoul, rating a Class 7 on the Ghost scale. Other Class 7 ghosts? Gozer, Vigo, The Boogieman, and the Spawn of Cathulhu, so you know our boys were in for some deep shit.

His main mission is to stop time so it'll be perpetual Halloween Night, when his powers are strongest. Of course, he's captured like everyone else, but Samhain wasn't your normal ghost. Since this bastard couldn't really die and had to wait 1200 years to be freed, he had no problem waiting until the fans demanded his return, his anger seething with each passing moment until then.

Of course, he came back and was captured again, awaiting for his next time to strike. Until then, we can enjoy the toy version of him.

Well SOMEONE'S enjoying him.

4. Eye Guy (Power Rangers)


As the first entry featured a monster from Power Rangers, so shall this one. Another of my favorite monsters in the original Mighty Morphin series, Eye Guy as you can see, is a monster completely made out of eyes. It must be a total bitch for him to sit down or hell, clean himself. Having ANYTHING in your eyes hurts like hell, so imagine if your whole body was covered in them. That is what fuels his anger, it consumes him.

But what does he consume? Children. Yes, children. You see that big eye on him? He can detach that to hypnotize little kids into standing still long enough for that eye to absorb them for Rita Repulsa's latest scheme. He can detach all of his other eyes, too, which helps him whenever he's blown apart. But only if that big eye is intact. If that gets destroyed, so does the rest of him.

Unlike most monsters, death couldn't stop Eye Guy, as he showed up several times during the first few seasons of the show whenever the plot called for an evil mob. And unlike Shellshock, this bastard got a toy of himself.


And what a toy! Two of his eye boobs can pop out of his chest, and he's got an unpainted eye stalk, to boot! Or is that a walking cane? A kickstand? Something worse? Time to move on, I'm getting weirded out.

5. Uncle Deadly (The Muppet Show)


Like the first and fourth entries, the original list featured a Muppet as well, and this guy is an underrated gem. There's lots of Muppets that were creepy whether or not they were meant to terrify people like Cookie Monster, Thog, Grover, Elmo, The Beautiful Day Monster, S.A.M. The Machine, etc.

Uncle Deadly, however, was one of those rare Muppets that was built to be scary. He first appeared in the first season with Vincent Price, and was later revealed to be a literal Phantom of the Muppet Theater. How did he become the phantom? He died on the very stage of the Muppet Theater while playing Othello. Who killed him? The critics, naturally. But he's back and he wants revenge. If you call acting in a silly melodrama revenge.



Grotesque? Yes. Hammy? Oh, yes. Blue? You betcha. All of these point to awesomeness. I'd shout this to my cat again, but she's been outta my room since the first entry.
 
6. The Killer Piano (Super Mario 64)


AAAAAHHHHH! AHHHHHH!!! AHHHHH!!! KILL IT WITH FIRE!
!


I mean...this thing, who only appeared in the Boo's Mansion stage of Super Mario 64, was frightening as all hell. You're Mario, and you climb into the basement of the game's requisite haunted house level. There's freaky carousel music in the background and you see a nice, charming piano sitting in the corner. Like a fool, you try to go near it.


AND THEN IT JUST STARTS CHOMPING AT YOU! AND THERE'S NO WAY TO KILL IT!!
Sorry, I'm still spooked at that after all these years.

This looks like a great place to stop, yes? Before I frighten myself any further? Yes, that sounds like a plan.

Happy Halloween, Everybody!


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Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Doctor Whosday: Tesla Coils

For tonight's installment of Doctor Whosday, here's a neat video that combines two of the geekiest things out there: The Doctor Who theme song and Tesla Coils.



Just plain awesome. I've spoken about the geekiness of using Tesla Coils as an instrument before, and this mashup just seemed inevitable. That same group is also responsible for mashups with the following:

The Back to The Future theme song


Iron Man


The Imperial March


The Legend of Zelda theme song


And...this song.




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Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Doctor Whosday: Good Grief.

For this week's edition of Doctor Whosday, here's a really neat picture that my high school physics teacher posted the other day:


Charlie Brown as the 4th Doctor (Tom Baker), with Snoopy as a Dalek. I'm sure Snoopy is there to demand the good Doctor to feed him in exchange for not exterminating him this week. Oh, the humilation of lacking opposable thumbs. And in this case, limbs.

If I knew more about 4th Doctor, I'd probably make some kind of joke about Linus being The Brigadier, and Lucy as Sarah Jane holding the football. But I'm not that knowledgeable yet.

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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Doctor Whosday: Cat TARDIS!

For this week's edition of Doctor Whosday, I'd like to profile a couple of pictures that have been making the rounds of Internetland these past few weeks:


A cat fort in the shape of the TARDIS! For those not in the know, the TARDIS (Time and Relative Dimensions in Space) is The Doctor's method of transportation. It can travel anywhere in time and space, but it's not always accurate. You gotta be a damn good pilot to fly and land it perfectly, something the Doctor isn't.

The reason why it looks like a 1950's-era British Police Box is because it has a cloaking device to make it look like anything...but it got stuck as this because the box became one of the most iconic figures of the show. Now it sticks out like a sore thumb anywhere it goes these days.


The TARDIS is supposed to be bigger on the inside. You might realize that this isn't the real TARDIS, so it had to confine to those lousy laws of physics. It doesn't matter, really, I want one.

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Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Doctor Whosday!

So I recently got into that great series Doctor Who.


If you still aren't aware of what this show is, Doctor Who chronicles the adventures of an alien (The Doctor) and his various companions as they travel through time and space. Sometimes they save the universe from catastrophe. Sometimes they battle monsters like Daleks, Cybermen, or these things:

For the love of God, DON'T SCROLL AWAY!!!
The rest of the time they travel through time and space because it's really, really cool. Whatever scrape the gang gets into, they don't use brute force. No, they use their intellect and that neat little gadget called the Sonic Screwdriver.

Buy me this!
Since the show has been around since 1963, there have been 11 actors that have played The Doctor, with the current incarnation being played by Matt Smith. How does this show cover actor changes, you ask? By having someone just appear out of a door when the last one is killed off? By having the new guy just call himself The Doctor while everyone goes along with it like James Bond? No, they use something called regeneration.

Thanks to Ye Olde Wikipedia, regeneration occurs when a Time Lord (The Doctor's species) is mortally wounded and the body molds itself into a new physical form to heal itself. This new physical form brings new changes to the character: New body (in an ironic twist, each regeneration brings a younger form), new quirks, new fashion choices.

The guy he replaced wore a celery stalk on his jacket.
They say that a Time Lord can regenerate 12 times, but this rule, as with many traditional rules of the universe, has been broken several times with characters like The Master coming along.

With that out of the way, I come forth with a new feature on the blog: Doctor Whosday! Yes, every Tuesday I'll update this thing with a Doctor Who-centric entry. And what's a good a place as any to start with the show's iconic theme song?


With 11 Doctors, there's a theme song for each one (4th Doctor had two themes), and choice for the best one is pretty much up to personal preference. My favorites? 11th, 10th, 1st, 5th, 4th (2nd theme), 7th, and 4th (1st theme) in pretty much that order.

And now it's stuck in your head. You're welcome.

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