Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Doctor Whosday: Last Doctor Whosday of 2011!

Yes, you heard it here folks, this is most likely the last edition of Doctor Whosday of 2011. December is just two days away, and that means Christmas Christmas Christmas. I'll be busy with what's left of the ongoing Dennis story "The Christmas Prophesy" (if any of you can think of a better name, do not hesitate to let me know) to make time for the good Doctor. Also of note is that tomorrow I start a seasonal job! It'll just be for December and it gives my weekends off so I don't know how MUCH time I'll be away from here.

But fear not, readers; I DO have plans for Tuesday entries! If you guys remember my Better Know A Christmas entries from the past two years (where I talk about Christmas traditions from around the world), I'll be restarting that in Doctor Whosday's place for next month. If anyone has any ideas for that series, feel free to let me know!

Maybe I'll post a review of this year's Doctor Who Christmas Special (airing 9pm Christmas Day on BBCAmerica), but until then here's a workout video:

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Saturday, November 26, 2011

The Christmas Prophesy: The Map

The Story So Far... (read these first!)
Part 1
Part 2


Shyguy: "Gentlemen. The name's Shyguy. I couldn't help but eavesdrop on your conversation earlier. That's a scary prophesy, and it just so happens that I came across this map detailing the whereabouts of the Keys of MacGuffin."

Dennis: "So you really do have a map?"

Shyguy: "Sure do, lemme just pick it outta my pocket."

Shyguy: "This should be the one. I'm not sure how it works, it only points the way to one of the keys. If you're like me and know your video games, the directions to the next key should appear on it once you get the first one."

Merv: "You might be onta somethin' here."

Dennis: "But what's the catch, Shyguy? There's usually a catch when someone gives us something for free."

Shyguy: "Oh, no catch. I just wanted to be helpful."

Kirby: "Where'd you get this from, anyway?"

Shyguy: "That's not important right now. What matters is that it's now in your hand."

: "Sir, is it safe to trust this guy?"

Optimus: "He's a strange little man that we've never seen before wearing a mask that knows all about this prophesy we found out about two weeks ago. Of course we can!"

: "I dunno, Prime, he's a little red guy, the prophesy might be onto something with all that doom it foretold us about."

: "Nonsense, we have nothing to worry about! Isn't that right, Shyguy?"

: "Totally legit."

Optimus: See, I told you!

Optimus: "Perceptor, analyze this map and whatever else you can."

Perceptor: "On it, sir!"

Optimus: "We can't thank you enough, Shyguy. How'd you like to join the team? There's five Autobots, and five of you little Earth creatures! Everyone gets a partner!"

Shyguy: "I thank you for the offer, Optimus Prime, but I really must be going. Gotta start setting up for Christmas and all that. It's only a month away!"

: "Oh by the way...I hear the Decepticons know about this prophesy too, and have a map just like this one. But you didn't hear this from me."



Optimus: "Neat."


Seaspray: "...How'd that guy know who Optimus was?"

Kirby: "And how did he know the Decepticons have a map, too?"

Optimus: "Vector Sigma, it must've been that bastard Laserbeak!"

Dennis: "L-Laserbeak?"

Prowl: "Laserbeak's this awful bird thing that Megatron uses to spy on us. It's a master of disguise and it lets the Decepticons know just what we're up to. It likes to spy on Arcee, but I don't blame it."

Arcee: "Hey!"

Prowl: "I'm just saying..."

Dennis: "I don't like this one bit, gang."

Merv: "I just want Christmas saved."

Clapboard: "The goomba's right guys, we need to get our act in gear if we want to save Christmas and help rid the world of myself!"

Perceptor: "That 'man in red' point of the prophesy could mean anything: Optimus, myself, even that person the Earthlings call Santa Claus. From what I've heard, he wears a lot of red and drinks soda when he delivers toys to all the children on Christmas Eve."

Merv: "And he drives an electric razor, don't forget that."

Optimus: "If doom should happen to this...Santa Claus, I wouldn't be able to live with myself, Autobots. We need to send a team immediately to find and protect him."

Optimus: "Where does Santa Claus live, anyway?"

Kirby: "The North Pole, but that's about a thousand miles from here, not to mention covered in ice."

Optimus: "Then it's settled. Kirby, take Seaspray to find Santa Claus and inform him of the danger he might be in. The rest of us will look for the keys."

Kirby: "So...you want us to drive to the North Pole? To find someone who we're not sure even exists? And come back within a month?"

Optimus: "You got it!"

Seaspray: "Great, send the guy who can't transform to go on the dangerous mission with the puffball."

Kirby: "Hey, at least you have me and your water abilities. We'll actually be useful for once."

Seaspray: "I guess you're right. You can count on us, Optimus!"

Optimus: "Then it's settled. We must roll out and search for the first key immediately or else the Macy's Parade will be ruined for us all!"

Dennis: "Christmas, Optimus."

: "I know what I said, Grapple."



Starscream: "I hope that accursed map of yours hasn't gotten us lost, Lord Megatron!"

Megatron: "Patience, Starscream. According to this map, the first key should be near a strange-looking monument that's within a few yards of here."

Megatron: "I believe the Earthlings call it...a question mark."

Starscream: "Balderdash!"


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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Doctor Whosday: Xmas 2011

It's that time of year again: Christmas! Well not yet, but with all the ads running around, you'd think it was.

And with that comes the announcement of this year's Doctor Who Christmas Special. It's titled "The Doctor, The Widow, and The Wardrobe," and it looks damn good.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

The Christmas Prophesy: Meet The Team!

To catch up on Part 1, click here!

Laserbeak: "...and that's what I heard, Lord Megatron."

Megatron: "Excellent, excellent. The Keys of MacGuffin are very powerful indeed, and if this prophesy is true, I can use them to destroy this puny rock AND those accursed Autobots!"

Soundwave: "According to the prophesy, 'Doom will come the Man in Red.' Query indicates this being is Optimus Prime."

Megatron: "All the more reason to grab those keys. With them in our hand, Optimus' doom is all but assured. 'Hero so wise' indeed."

Starscream: "Seriously, Optimus this and Optimus that. He's all you seem to care about these days. Not unlike me, Lord Megatron, sir. You'll never get any satisfaction from him as you would from someone like I!"

Megatron: "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear any of that."

Thundercraker: "Well, uhh, do we even know what these keys look like? A-and what about Starscream? You know that traitor is gonna try anything in his power to take credit for everything and take your seat on the Decepticon throne."

Starscream: "You know I'm standing right next to you, you blathering pile of circuits! I don't care HOW attractive his seat is, you know damn well I'd never do anything to it without his consent!"

Megatron: "For the good of my sanity, I'll pretend I didn't hear that, either. And so what if we don't know what they'll look like? We've been on enough of these World Domination plots to know that things will show themselves to us if they don't want to die."

Megatron: "It just so happens that a few days ago, I took this map to their whereabouts from some Earthling that needed some good old Decepticon persuasion before he parted with it. They will be ours in no time!"




Optimus: "Any luck deciphering that prophesy, Perceptor?"

Perceptor: "From what I can perceive, nothing so far other than what's written down."

Merv: "Hey, Optimus, how about you guys let us in on how this here prophesy's a goin'?

Optimus: "Holy fuck, was that today?! Umm, well, yes, well, WELCOME! Clapboard, Kirby, Windcharger, the rest! I want you to meet the Autobot team!"

Optimus: "This is Perceptor, our research expert and part-time medic."

Perceptor: "Salutations, Earthlings! I'm doing the best I can with this prophesy, it's a heck of a fascinating puzzle. Speaking of which, you creatures are quite fascinating as well, you know. I would be delighted to dissect one of you for my research!"

Clapboard: "I'd like to volunteer, please..."

Optimus: "This big guy right here is Seaspray, our Aquatics Guy. If there's a mission that's under, over, or on water, he's the one for the job!"

Seaspray: "That's about all, really. I mostly play cards with Aquaman and Shipwreck. I'd transform for you guys, but my transformation mechanism's on the fritz at the moment."

Merv: "That's awfully inconvenient."

Optimus: "This here's Arcee. She's a speedster, and one hell of a sexy fighter!"

Arcee: "Don't touch me."

Optimus: "And you guys remember Prowl. He's our guy who upholds all that is righteous in the world. Also, he has guns mounted on his shoulders."

Prowl: "10-4, Good to see ya guys again! Prime, we need to do all we can to dispense some justice onto those despicable Decepticons."

Optimus: "You know damn well we do, good buddy. This mission's gonna be tough ever since I got stuck with the shittiest Autobot team in existence."

Optimus: "Well, let's face it. Besides me, who do we got?"

Optimus: "A microscope"

Optimus: "A hovercraft"

Optimus: "A girl"

Optimus: "And Prowl. But Prowl's awesome."

Optimus: "Prowl, you may not be Jazz or Ironhide, but dammit, you're the best Autobot anyone could ask for!"

Prowl: "Uh, thanks Prime. I guess."

Dennis: "You have us too, Optimus."

: "Well, you're right. We still got...whatever you guys are. What the hell are you guys, anyway?"

Merv: "Name's Merv. I like ta sell things. And I'm pretty sure I'm able ta fly, since I got these wings and all that."

Kirby: "I'm Kirby. I used to protect Dreamland from people who people who wanted to eat food, but now I'm an amateur voice actor on account of these headphones and all."

Clapboard: "You named me Clapboard, remember? I don't know why I'm here, all I know is that I'm some sort of hideous Mickey Mouse abominaton. I'm also the only one of out the group with working arms."

Clapboard: "Speaking of which, can I borrow your gun?"

Perceptor: "I would gladly hand it over, but this is just a giant microscope lens that's attached to my shoulder."

Dennis: "And despite what Optimus keeps saying, my name's Dennis. I wish we didn't have to do any of this. I mean, where on Earth are we going to find the Keys of MacGuffin, anyway?"

???: "Did someone say the Keys of MacGuffin?"

???: "Over here!"

Shyguy: "Boys, today's yer lucky day!"

Shyguy: "It just so happens that I have a map."